David Gates - The Wonders of the Invisible World

“I actually didn’t think at all, you know, in the long term. I’ve just sort of been going along day by day. How sure are you that you’ll be able to handle it?”

“Billy,” she says. “You didn’t have it in mind to fight me on this?”

“You mean legally?” He shrugs. “You’re his mother. I’m his faggot uncle.”

“Oh. So you have been thinking about it. What are you, preparing your little court case? ‘And then she asked me to take him along while I cleaned the drugs out of her apartment.’ ”

“Listen to yourself,” he says.

“Why? So even I would have to agree that I’m an unfit mother?”

The waitress is standing over them. “The hamburg platter?”

Cassie points at the tabletop in front of her and the waitress sets down an oval platter. Only the top of a bun is visible among the heaping french fries.

“BLT?”

Billy nods. A round plate, with chips.

“Anything else I can get you?”

“We’re fine,” Billy says.

“Enjoy your meal.” The waitress turns away so quickly Billy feels a breeze from her skirt.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Cassie says.

Billy lets the waitress get a couple of booths away. “Which one?”

“Any question, actually. ‘How’s Deke?’ ‘He’s fine.’ ‘Will you stay involved in his life?’ ‘We’ll have to see.’ ”

“That’s not what I said. Of course I want to stay involved. So you’re taking him back to Boston?”

“What have we just been talking about? Hello?” She drops her mouth open, idiot-style, and waves. “Yes. It’s where I live. When I’m among the living. So in other words, when I take him home, that’s too much of a trek, so you’ll never see him.”

“I’m not saying that.”

She takes a bite of her hamburger, chews. “Good burger,” she says. “ Not. I’ll tell you one thing, though. This time I’m going to make it.”

Billy eats a potato chip. “I don’t suppose you’d consider moving back here,” he says.

“Please.”

“I know, but think about it. The house is paid for, you and Deke could each have a room, you wouldn’t—”

“We’ve got rooms. At home. Besides, I’ve had that room.”

“We could switch. I’ll take your old room and you can have the big room.”

“ Their bedroom?”

“Or you can switch with Deke. Take my old room. The piano’s still here, it needs—”

“That house is death.”

“That house,” he says, “is a three-bedroom house. For free. In a safe neighborhood. With decent schools. Also, Billy wouldn’t have to suddenly—”

“Yeah, I know the decent schools, too. It’s where I used to boot coke in the toilet stalls.”

“You could’ve done that anywhere. It was your choice. I didn’t get into drugs.”

Cassie’s mouth drops open.

“Well, not like you did. Anyway, that was in high school. Deke’s only in second—”

“I’m not discussing this.” She stuffs a french fry into her mouth. “Mmm. Fries are good.”

“So Boston’s better.”

“Better than Greater Albany? Yeah, I’d say so. Listen, I changed my mind. I want to see my boy.”

“School doesn’t let out until three,” Billy says. “I thought you had to be back by six.”

“No, I don’t want him to see me. Can’t we just go over to the school and peek in the classroom?”

“Not a good idea.”

She gives him a quick shark smile. “Do you understand that I could call the police any time and say you’re molesting him?”

Billy looks at her and nods. “Nice.” Keeps nodding. “A truly lovely way to repay me.”

“Oh, I thought you were too much of a saint to worry about being paid back. It’s not reward enough, just feeling superior?”

“Cassie, why are you being so ugly?”

“Because I want to see my son, Billy, and you’re giving me all this shit. Why can’t we just go over and watch them come out for afternoon recess?”

“Line up behind the fence with all the pedophiles?”

“And the dope pushers,” Cassie says. “You know, I don’t need your permission. I know the way over there. I could drive it blindfold.”

“Look. If we do this, I want you to—”

“Yay!” Cassie puts a fist in the air.

On the other side of the fence, kids are running and yelling, swinging and seesawing, swarming over the old jungle gym, a skeleton dome of smooth, dull gray pipes. Far across the still-green playing field, a pickup truck’s parked by where they’re building a modern playground with rubber mats and pressure-treated timber — so far away that you see a workman’s hammer fall, then hear the clink on the upswing.

Billy points. That’s Deke: in the blue-jean jacket, seesawing with a little girl.

“He plays with girls?” Cassie says.

“Yeah,” Billy says. “He must’ve caught it from the toilet seat.”

“You laugh. But you shared a bathroom with me all those years, and you ended up fucking men.”

“Okay, now I believe you’re Cassie.” He looks at his sister, her hair tucked up into his Diamond Dogs cap. “I was afraid an alien had taken over your body.”

“God, don’t even joke about it. Listen, what’s he going to be for Halloween?”

“I thought I’d dress him up as Carol Channing. No, actually, how about a space alien?”

“ Billy. Jesus.”

“Sorry. I’ve kind of had my eye on this Barney costume, but he doesn’t seem to be into it.”

“Actually, a space alien would probably be great. He’s big into X-Files. ”

“Really.” Billy means this as a shot of disapproval, quick enough to be undiscussable. “By the way, if it’s any comfort, remember that I only played with boys when I was his age.”

“Come on,” she says. “I was only kidding. I’m not a total right-winger.”

“No comment. But if you want to know, my special faggot radar hasn’t picked up any queer vibes from him.”

“Stop.”

“So you’ve seen enough? I mean, there he is. So you know I wasn’t bullshitting you about his being alive and well. Or do you want to take this to the next level?”

Cassie hasn’t taken her eyes off of Deke. “No,” she says. She closes her eyes. “I’ve got to get back. I’ve got to get the damn car back.”

He walks her over and opens her door. She stands there, still looking at the playground. “It’s weird being here,” she says. “That has to be the same jungle gym. How can you stand it?”

He shrugs. “See, I’m so used to it now that it seems weird I ever thought it was weird.”

“Then you are in deep shit.”

A bell rings, and kids start racing for the door.

“You sure you don’t want to stop by the house for a second?” he says. “See how it feels?”

“No. You’re really creeping me out, Billy. I mean, I don’t mean to judge you.”

“Yeah, God forbid. So I’m still not clear on when exactly … you know.”

“Me either. But I definitely plan to be home before Christmas.”

“Okay, that gives me some idea. Speaking of which, I guess we should plan to do a celebration. It’s kind of down to the three of us.”

“Definitely. Well, we’ll talk, okay? I really better hit it.” She turns the key in the ignition, then stops. “Billy? Wouldn’t you even consider moving to Boston?”

“I’m always up for considering. But you mean would I? I doubt it. I’ve had the urban experience.” Diplomatic of him, not going into New York versus second-rate cities.

“I was just thinking, we could sort of be a family. I mean, not that we’re not, but—”