Dorothy Sayers - The Wimsey Papers

Talking of the Navy, I thought that was a dashed handsome touch in Daladier's speech the other day. Saying that "the English, who were connoisseurs," had praised the work of the French Navy, and that he looked upon it as a good compliment. Upon my word, I called that a confoundedly graceful way of putting it. None of our newspapers seemed to appreciate it half enough. Very pretty turn, those Frenchmen have, in public speeches. Wish our lot would follow their example. We mean well, but we're so damned clumsy. Anyhow, there's my little tribute, for what it's worth, and I wish somebody could tell Daladier that one old fellow, at any rate, had the grace to feel gratified.

You ought to have heard the row there was this week when Winston hopped in ahead of the newspapers and told the country about the Canadians being landed here. I wonder the whole Censor's office didn't go up in smoke. Naughty of Winston, of course, but mind you, the public loved it. It pleased them no end to hear a tit-bit of piping-hot news direct from the First Lord of the Admiralty. If you ask me, the powers that be out to arrange to give us that kind of thing more often. I don't mean they ought to take the papers by surprise — that's not fair, and besides, it takes the gilt off the gingerbread when you've been given your little treate one day, and the next have to read a lot of cursing and blinding about muddles in Ministries. It shakes public confidence. But I do say that, every now and again, when something damned good has happened, our Government ought to say deliberately: that's something the Prime Minister, or the First Lord, or somebody, ought to say himself, with his own lips, to every Tom, Dick and Harry in the country personally. The people wold appreciate that, and it would be damn well worth it. The don't care two hoots about newspapers and Ministries, but they do love to be told the news, and the more personal touch about it the better, and curse the red tape.

Not much good, I'm afraid, writing all this to you, because you aren't in a position to do anything about it, but an old fellow like me gets hsi head full of ideas, sitting about with nothing much to do except think. Last war we were too busy to think much, and since then I'm afraid we've left the thinking to the youngsters, and they think like mad, but they haven't got the experience. What's that French thing — if youth but knew, if age were only able? Age ought to be able to think a bit, anyhow. My wife says I've done my bit, and ought to sit quiet and stop fretting, but I find that rather hard work.

There's not much news, I'm afraid. All quiet on the Home Front so far. Rationing looms ahead — that's a new one on me. My wife and daughters laugh at me when I grumble about this butter business, and ask, how about my breakfast bacon? They say I ought to have been through the last war, and this one's a picnic to it. That's damn funny, when you come to think of it. D'you know, honestly, I hadn't realised that in 1918 they couldn't get matches, and sat about like the fox in the fable, hoping luck would send them a bit of cheese. When you think of all the cheese there was knocking about the lines! Still, I suppose it's never too late to learn, and now it's my turn to learn the civilian end of the business. I tell my wife she's getting a regular old soldier, always bragging about what she did in her last campaign.

Well, good luck to you, my boy, and a successfull New Year. If you meet any of Little Adolf's friends, give them a kick in the pants from

Yours ever,

GEO. MARCHBANKS

13. Letters to the Ministry of Instruction and Morale (various dates).

Dept. Public Opinion (Home); Sub-Dept. Propaganda (Enemy); Section Radio; Sub-Section Hamburg.

File Ref. MIM/QXJ945/ak/722683; Cross-Ref.BBC/OL3/xp/999334 (Copies to BBC).

Room 569 (2) Duchess of Denver.

Passed to you for information and comment please. (Sgd.) BEETLE OF OAKWOD.

Dear Sirs, — I welcome the suggestion to reply to the German propaganda from Hamburg. Anything for a change from the everlasting drone of cinema organs.

Incidentally, why is the news-bulletin broadcast to the Empire on the short wave at 11.30 a.m. always so much fuller of interesting and detailed information than those on the Home Service? Are we considered mentally inferior to our cousins overseas? Or is this a class distinction in favour of plutocrats who can afford expensive wireless sets? — Yours faithfully, J. WETHERIDGE (Maj. Retd.), Bellona Club, W.

Dear Lord Beetle, — Do try and stop this suggestion that the B.B.C. should broadcast an answer to Haw-Haw. It would merely encourage my husband to turn the man on, and the creature's voice gets on my nerves, so monotonous and genteel, like a shop-walker. We need not, surely, add to the horrors of war! — Yours ver sincerely, AMELIA TRUMPE-HARTE, Bridge House, Mayfair.

Dear Sirs, — I see that Mr. Harold Nicolson is rousing up the House of Commons to make a good debating reply to the German propagandist they call Haw-Haw. I am a member of the Primrose League and do not agree with Mr. Nicolson's political views, but I think this is an excellent idea and hope you will see that it is carried out. I have written to my M.P. and told him he is to support it or lose my vote. Is there anything further I can do in the matter? I am a church-warden, and run the Boy Scouts in this neighbourhood. - Yes. &c., J. SMITH, Gt. Pagford.

Dear Sirs, — I read in my paper that the B.B.C have decided not to broadcast any reply to "Lord Hee-Haw" for fear of making the man too important. I say, if he's important enough to have headlines in the papers he's important enough to be answered, and either the B.B.C. or the papers ought to have more sense. Why can't you make up your minds one way or the other and get the whole thing straightened out? I enclose my card and remain, — Yours faithfully, PLAIN CITIZEN, East Croydon.

Dear Sirs, — I see Mr. Harold Nicolson wants to run a series of replies to Haw-Haw. This is all very well and a fine idea, but for pity's sake don't make it one of your College Professors but someone as understands what is a good debating speech. There is nothing like a controversy for Entertainment but it must be good Lively stuff. I am a working man myself and wireless is my hobby I have a set gets all the foreign stations. I think Haw-Haw is very dangerous for ignorant people and there's plenty with posh wireless sets more ignorant than the working class by a long chalk. If anybody was to make a good fighting speech in answer I would be pleased to listen into same but see it is a good one. We have speakers in our W.E.A. Debating Circle could give these Professors and Govt. speakers five yards and a beating. - Yours faithfully, A. Carpenter, Walbeak, Norfolk.

Dear Sirs, — I am a social worker, and I find that a great many of the people I come inc ontact with take the line that much of the German propaganda about social conditions here is true, and they point out that he gets it all out of the English papers. I always tell them that that is the great difference between us and Germany — their papers are not allowed to say how bad their social conditions are, and so cannot be quoted against them. I find they are impressed by this, and also by the revelations of the miserable conditions in the Russian Army as compared with the glowing account of the "Workers' Paradise" in the Soviet controlled Press. I think that any reply to German propaganda would be most effective if done along these lines. - Yours faithfully, SYLVIA STANNIFORTH, Sheffield.

My dear Lord Beetle, — With regard to the suggested broadcast in reply to "Lord Haw-Haw," I have noticed in the course of my researches that a great many people, while listening-in to his remarks are instinctively moved to utter derisive ejaculations, such as: "You don't say!" "What about Old Gobbles?" "Have a nice cup of bramble-tea!" "What's become of the 'Deutschland'?" and so on, according to the subject he is discussing. This makes me think that it would be amusing, and afford relief to irritated feelings if a running commentary could be broadcast SIMULTANEOUSLY with his on the same wave-length, so as to give the effect of a speaker being HECKLED at a public meeting! The listeners could JOIN IN with shouts and cheers and a GOOD TIME would be had by all. This would be immediately followed, of course, by a reasoned reply, in which the Germans could heckle too! This would, I am sure, appeal greatly to the SPORTING INSTINCTS of our people! But perhaps there is some technical difficulty! — Yours sincerely, ALEXANDRA KATHERINE CLIMPSON, Oxford Street, W.