Миша Чинков - Кауч

Finally, we get home. I quickly pack my backpack, say goodbye to Cross and take a taxi to the airport. I made it on time, but the plane is delayed. It triggers a chain reaction where I miss all four flights I planned. I change the time of the second flight to restore the chain. I pay in excess with all spare cash I have. I arrive to Bishkek, wait for a Moscow flight the whole night, feel sick and tired on all fronts: physically, emotionally and mentally.

I think that’s the case when you need a vacation after you had a vacation.

I have a childhood friend in Petersburg who could host me for a few days, but not a single soul in Moscow. Though it’s fairly easy to find a host in Moscow since there are lots of them, it’s all different during May holidays. People move to country houses, visit parents and set off on trips. So, my searching led me to expat Jose. He doesn’t have a country house; his parents are far away. Traveling is the core element of his life.

Jose is from Ecuador. He is thirty years old, skinny, intellectual, cosmopolitan; speaks somewhere between six and eight languages – including his brilliant Russian. He moved to Russia for work in a biomedical company. He lives in Lyublino District and shares a three-room apartment in a human hive with guys from Saratov. Couch helps him abstract from “russkiy bydlo” 12 12 “Русский быдло” (Russian rabble) – a derogatory way to refer to uncultured or stupid people. and make a personal “Pokémon collection” out of interesting people.

Even before an eye-to-eye meeting, we have a misunderstanding:

– [Me]: Good morning, Jose. I’m looking forward to meeting you tomorrow at the train station. I have your phone number, so everything is ok. Could you give me your address just in case?

– [Jose]: I’m not meeting you at the train station, God dammit!!! I can meet you right away at the exit from the tube station! You can take the metro to Lyublino. I would recommend you to call me when you arrive to the city, so I would have time to prepare. I don’t find it necessary to meet you at the airport or train station, as I doubt it’s your first visit to Moscow… Besides, you can speak Russian, so it shouldn’t be difficult for you to navigate in the city. Thus, you can ask, listen to and read without trouble”.

– [Me]: I believe it’s just a misunderstanding. Sure, I meant metro. See you tomorrow!

We chit-chat in the kitchen about some abstract stuff: cars parked on lawns, environment, technologies, countries and cultures. After our conversation, I start to explore Moscow, looking forward to seeing the match between my favorite team Lokomotiv and not-so-favorite Spartak. Lokomotiv would get aced, and we would get detained on the stadium for a good one and a half hours after the match ends. Thank you, Jose, for opening the door at 11 p.m..

After my trip, we chat on Facebook for some time.

– [Jose]: Too many holidays. That doesn’t suit the country with economic decline.

– [Me]: It’s not about New Year holidays. It’s not caused by lavatories, but it’s something that starts in people’s heads 13 13 A quote from a Mikhail Bulgakov’s “Heart of a Dog” .

– [Jose, transliterated]: Problema V to 4isle i v golovax NARODA, ne tolko v golovax pravitelei. I etot moment, tot kotory 4itateli tvoego roda, naprimer, o4en “vugodno“ propuskaiut, kogda tsitiruiut Bulgakova. Vsegda dumaiut 4to vina vsiu nado nalozhit na pravitelei, u kotoryx BEZ SONMENIA est bolshaya dolya otvestvennosti. NO na samogo sebya… Trudno smotret'. Budto Russky narod takie “angelo4ki“. Samy takie lentiai i lenivye… 14 14 The problem is not only in the minds of leaders, COMMON PEOPLE have it. That’s the point which, let’s say, readers like you very “conveniently” miss when they quote Bulgakov. They believe that only the leaders should be blamed, who are OBVIOUSLY responsible in a high degree. BUT it’s difficult to consider your own actions… As if Russian people are “little angels”, really. Given how lazy and slothful they are…

I think Jose is one heck of a toxic guy.

I meet Nadya at the “Teatralnaya” metro station. On the way home, we try to get to know each other better, but the unbearable metro noise puts in its two cents. Nadya tells me about the meeting with her friends – they've just seen each other. I’m playing my card straight away by telling about my life in the States.

Nadya lives with her husband Dima and a dog named Sky – a reference to Luke Skywalker from the Star Wars. They work all round about film industry, usually as camera operators. Also, Nadya earns money from photoshoots and wedding photography. They live on mortgage in a new built three-room apartment in a residential complex near Podolsk. Because of urbanization metastases, their Podolsk propiska transformed into Moscow propiska 15 15 The Russian word propiska is difficult to translate into any foreign language because the practice of requiring residence permits of its own citizens is a strictly Russian invention. The need for these permits is one of Russia's most enduring phenomena, required that citizens carry passports and be registered at their place of residence. . I spend three nights in their apartment, they provide me with a free room loaded with different stuff. Two years afterwards Nadya would give birth to a boy and this room would become the children's room.

Next day I spend walking between museums and pretend to be a minor to get free tickets. I come back in the evening – happy and tired. Nadya is cooking “frounchosa”, some kind of Moscow delicacy I’ve never heard of. We’re having dinner with her friend who came a couple of hours ago. Sky runs into the room. Nadya hugs him. I manage to take a picture with my Nikon D3200.

– [Nadya]: Misha, where did you have lunch today?

– [Me]: In Burger King.

– [Nadya]: I’m sorry.

During our last evening together, we walk around Kolomenskoye. They tell me about their wedding here, show photos on the phone. We are fooling around with my camera and make some nice photos. Their speech is full of historical facts about Moscow and its overall charms. The guys belong to the sort of people who are mad in love with the capital. Our conversation flows into political history direction: there we find ourselves on the opposite sides of the barricades, though mutual respect and common sense help us keep the conversation cool.

I think Moscow and Muscovites seem to be very delightful.

At the weekend, I go to Moscow to see Rammstein live. Jose is busy moving to a new apartment, Nadya and Dima don’t host anymore. I go for the third round of looking for a friendly soul with a couch in the capital.

“Yeah, feel free to come over. Ul. Vvedenskogo, 11-2. 89061328907. Call me a couple of days in advance”.

Having arrived at Belyayevo metro station, I’m waiting for Yan and Julia in a sub. They should be picking me up in a minute after their visit to parents. Yan doesn’t pick up the phone. I’m trembling from anxiety and cold in the subway. It’s raining cats and dogs today in Moscow, and not a single umbrella in the world would save you from it. After an hour of waiting, we find each other. On the way home, we share a single umbrella between three of us.

Yan and Julia – young family from Makhachkala. Yan has a creative job in a public agency, Julia works in catering service and air travel. They have a three years old daughter. She spends this weekend at grandmother. Julia is pregnant with the second baby. Once again, CouchSurfing blows my mind with the people who are ready to support others, think out of the box, act and help. Guys, you have a little daughter, never mind pregnancy – why would even host some guy from Penza? Perhaps, guys wish an interesting life with little routine, too.