Naguib Mahfouz - The Beginning and the End

Hussein’s heart pounded with delight. Answering the voice, which he well recognized as that of his brother, he said, “Hassan! It’s me, Hussein.”

“Hussein!” The voice sounded astonished. Then Hussein heard the rattle of the bolt being lifted. As the door was opened, he saw Hassan, his hair unruly and disorderly, his eyes swollen and bloodshot. Extending a hand to greet his brother, Hassan shouted in surprise, “Hussein! You’re welcome. Come in. I hope no calamity has brought you here. What’s the matter?”

Rather confused, Hussein entered. Soon his nose was filled with the odor of incense, its sweet fragrance sharply contrasting with the horrible smell emerging from the staircase. He found himself in a darkened corridor with two rooms, one on the right of the entrance, the other facing it to the left. Smiling apologetically at his brother, Hussein said, “Have I come early? It’s eleven o’clock.”

Hassan yawned. “I usually get up in the afternoon. Singers work by night and sleep by day,” he said, laughing. “But before anything else, tell me, how is our family?”

“Thanks to God, they are well. How is everything?”

Accompanying his brother to the room on the right, Hassan said, “Thanks to God, everything is all right.”

They entered a small room, nearly partitioned into two halves, one containing a bed, the other a wardrobe, with a sofa between them next to the inside wall. Hanging above the sofa was a big photograph of Hassan with a very dark-skinned, fleshy woman leaning on his shoulder, her arms around his neck. As Hussein fixed his eyes on her, his astonishment caught his brother’s attention.

“What are you thinking about?” Hassan asked, laughing.

“Have you married, my brother?” Hussein asked naively.

Asking Hussein to sit on the sofa, Hassan jumped on the bed and squatted there. “Almost,” he answered.

“Are you engaged?”

“Neither married nor engaged.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean the third state!”

Dumbfounded, the young man raised his astonished eyes to Hassan. He smiled mechanically in spite of himself. A feeling akin to shyness appeared on his face. Hassan laughed aloud.

“Even without a marriage contract, she’s my wife in every possible sense,” he said lightly.

“Aren’t you alone now?” Hussein asked fearfully.

Nodding his head affirmatively, he yawned aloud like a braying donkey. “Of course, you won’t tell anybody about it,” he cautioned.

“Of course.”

“I don’t want to hurt the family’s feelings, that’s all. By the way, have you had any experience with the female sex?” Hassan asked with a laugh.

Shyly, the young man shook his head no.

“Nor Hassanein?” Hassan continued.

Hussein’s heart pounded with fear and pain for no obvious reason. “Nor Hassanein,” he said.

Hassan became thoughtful. “That’s better for you,” he remarked. “If one day you intend to marry,” he adding, laughing, “come to me and I’ll supply you with wonderful bits of advice.”

“I’m not thinking of marriage, as you know,” Hussein said calmly.

“Is it possible that Hassanein will get married before you?”

His heart shook, but he said quietly, “This is certain, since he is bound by an old promise.”

“Anyhow, when Hassanein finishes his studies, no obstacle will get in his way!” Hassan was moved. “Oh! By the way, what’s the latest news about the job you are searching for?”

Hussein was delighted by the opportunity Hassan was affording him to bring up the subject.

“I’ve come to tell you that I’ve been appointed a clerk at the secondary school in Tanta, and I’ll be starting my work on the first of October,” he said.

“Will you travel to Tanta?” Hassan asked with astonishment. “What use, then, will it be to Mother if you live in Tanta?”

“Little use. But what’s to be done?”

“This is really bad luck. This is the result of school education!”

To overcome his confusion, Hussein smiled. Summoning up his courage, he said, “I should be leaving by the end of September. As you know, government salaries are paid at the end of the month.”

Hassan realized what his brother was driving at before Hussein finished speaking, and as he pondered it, he allowed no trace of his thoughts to appear on his face.

“How much of a salary do you expect?” he asked.

“Seven pounds.”

“How foolish of Mother to have sent you to school! And, of course, you have not a millieme of the money needed to cover your travel and living expenses for the month of October?”

Hussein smiled resignedly, wondering at the embarrassment and confusion the situation had caused him; it was as if he were asking a stranger for help. His mind active, Hassan silently continued to stare at him. Hussein comes to me at an inappropriate time. I’m expecting some money. But I’m not sure when it will come. Right now I’m empty-handed, entirely empty-handed. Damn him! I can’t tell him the truth. Let hell destroy us all before I ever do. He has a pressing need for the money and he must obtain it. The future of the family depends on these few pounds. In fact, he doesn’t need much, just the price of a few pounds of hashish. In one week’s time, a reckless young man would spend such a sum of money on the women of Darb Tiab. Sana’a herself is hard up. I don’t keep anything for her. I must help him. But how? Why did he wait until today to come see me? How long will my family remain a source of pain to me? Silently, he continued to gaze at his brother, until the latter’s heart was stricken with worry and fear. Suddenly Hassan moved away from the bed. Reaching the wardrobe, he opened a drawer. After fumbling in it for a few minutes, he returned to his place on the bed. Holding four gold bracelets in his hand, he stretched it out to his brother.

“Take these bracelets and sell them at once, for whatever you can get for them,” he said hurriedly.

Hussein’s hand failed to move as his eyes opened wide, disturbed and disapproving. “What’s this? Whose bracelets are these?” he shouted in spite of himself.

Annoyed by his brother’s disquiet, Hassan said simply, “They are Sana’a my wife bracelets!”

“By what right should I take them?”

“Your brother is giving them to you. You’ve nothing to do with their owner.”

Deeply disturbed, Hussein wondered what sort of life his brother lived. “I don’t feel comfortable about taking them. Isn’t there some other solution?”

This show of dignity made Hassan angry. “If you’re this scrupulous, just leave them. I’ve nothing else to give you,” he said dryly.

At first Hussein was skeptical. But after examining Hassan’s face and realizing the genuineness of his expression, he felt annoyed and degraded. A woman’s bracelets! And what a woman! he thought. This is both impossible and unbelievable. I wouldn’t have conceived of it, nor would I have believed this could happen to me even in a nightmare. How could I possibly respect myself afterward?! Should I refuse the bracelets? What’s to be done if I do? He doesn’t have any other money. I should believe him. I can’t lose the job either! What would I do if I lost it? I can’t refuse. Nor can I accept! I must refuse! But I cannot. He kept wavering back and forth, unable to decide. Only one thing deserves to be cursed, he thought. That’s life. Yes, life and luck, and the two parents that have brought me into this world. Not caring a damn, my father used to play on his lute strings! He started with alarm. May I be destroyed! How dare I think so! The image of his corpse is indelibly imprinted on my memory. May God’s mercy fall upon him. He was not the one to blame. We are all like chickens, scratching our food from the dirt. And Hassanein and Bahia meet in the chicken coop on the roof. How disgusting! Let me then refuse. But in order to survive we have to submit. Nobody would know anything about it. Still, I’ll remember it as long as I live, and my shame will last for the rest of my life! He is waiting for me to decide. Either I submit or perish! I’ll take them as a debt to be paid off when I have enough. No, I’m deceiving myself. No, I’m honest and I’ll pay off my debt. If I don’t refuse, I’ll never be able to claim that I’m an honest man. I’m hungry. Honest but hungry. And I’ll not refuse. Damn this life! Now I realize what drove my brother to live in this lair. Our family is lost and life is cruel. I must come to a decision before my head bursts. Like chickens…