Iris Murdoch - The Black Prince

«Well, don't forget about the party, will you?»

«I'm writing it down now. Thank you so much.»

As I put the telephone down someone began ringing the doorbell. I went and opened the door. It was Priscilla. She marched past me into the sitting-room and immediately began to cry.

«Oh God, Priscilla, do stop.»

«You only want me to stop crying.»

«All right, I only want you to stop crying. Stop crying.»

She lay back in the big «Hartbourne» armchair and in fact stopped. Her hair was in ugly disorder, the darkened parting zigzagging across her head. She lay back limply, gracelessly, with her legs spread and her mouth open. There was a hole in her stocking at the knee through which pink spotty flesh bulged in a little mound.

«Oh Priscilla, I am so sorry.»

«Yes. Be sorry. Bradley, I think you're right. I'd better go back to Roger.»

«Priscilla, you can't-«

«Why not? Have you changed your mind? You were saying so much I should go back. You said he was so unhappy and the house was so awful. He needs me, I suppose. And it is my home. Nowhere else is. Perhaps he'll be nicer to me now. Bradley, I think I'm going mad, I'm going out of my mind. What's it like when people go mad, does one know one's going mad?»

«Of course you aren't going mad.»

«I think I'll go to bed if you don't mind.»

«I'm sorry, I still haven't made up the spare bed.»

«Bradley, your cabinet looks different, something's gone. Where have you put the water-buffalo lady?»

«The water-buffalo lady?» I looked at the gaping empty space. «Oh yes. I gave her away. I gave her to Julian Baffin.»

«Oh Bradley, how could you, she was mine, she was mine.» Priscilla gave a little moan and the tears began to flow again. She started to fumble vainly in her bag looking for a handkerchief.

«You couldn't even keep that for me.»

«I'll get it back.»

«I only let you take her because I knew 1 could visit her here. I liked visiting her here. She had her place here.»

«I'm terribly sorry-«I'll never get my jewels and now even she's gone, my last little thing gone.»

«Please, Priscilla, I really will-«You gave her to that wretched girl.»

«She asked for it. I will get it back, please don't worry. Now please go to bed and rest.»

«She was mine, you gave her to me.»

«I know, I know, I'll get it back, now come on, you can have my bed.»

Priscilla trailed into the bedroom. She got straight into the bed.

«Don't you want to undress?»

«What's the point. What's the point of anything. I'd be better dead.»

«Oh buck up, Priscilla. I'm glad you've come back though. Why did you leave the other place?»

«Arnold made a pass at me.»

«Oh!»

«I pushed him away and he turned nasty. He must have told Christian about it. They were downstairs laughing and laughing and laughing. They must have been laughing at me.»

«I don't suppose they were. They were just happy.»

«Well, I hated it, I hated it.»

«Was Arnold there in the afternoon?»

«Oh yes, he came straight back after you'd left, he was there nearly all day, they made a huge lunch downstairs, I could smell it, I didn't want any, and I heard them laughing all the time. They didn't want me, they left me alone nearly all day.»

«Poor Priscilla.»

«I can't stand that man. And I can't stand her either. They didn't really want me there at all, they didn't care about me really to help me, it was just part of a game, it was like a joke.»

«You're right there.»

«No.»

«She said a doctor was coming but he didn't come. I feel terrible, I think I've got cancer. Everyone despises me, everyone knows what's happened to me. Bradley, could you ring up Roger?»

«Oh no, please-«I'll have to go back to Roger. I could see Dr. Macey at home. Or else I'll kill myself. I think I'll kill myself. No one will care.»

«Priscilla, do get properly undressed. Or else get up and comb your hair. I can't bear to see you lying dressed in bed.»

«Oh what does it matter, what does it matter.»

The front doorbell rang again. I ran to open it. Francis Marloe was outside, his little eyes screwed up with ingratiating humility. «Oh Brad, you must forgive me for coming-«Come in,» I said. «You offered to nurse my sister. Well, she's here and you're engaged.»

«Really? Oh goodie, goodie!»

«You can go in and nurse her now, she's in there. Can you give her a sedative?»

«I always carry-«All right, go on.» I picked up the telephone and dialled Rachel's number. «Hello, Rachel.»

«Oh-Bradley-«

I knew at once from her voice that she was alone. A woman can put so much into the way she says your name.

«Rachel. Thanks for your sweet letter.»

«Bradley-can I see you-soon-at once-?»

«Rachel, listen. Priscilla's come back and Francis Marloe is here. Listen. I gave Julian a water buffalo with a lady on it.»

«A what?»

«A little bronze thing.»

«Oh. Did you?»

«Yes. She asked for it, here, you remember.»

«Oh yes.»

«Well, it's really Priscilla's only I forgot and she wants it back. Could you get it off Julian, and bring it round, or send her? Tell her I'm very sorry-«She's out, but I'll find it. I'll bring it at once.»

«The human lot is sad and awful,» murmured Francis. «We are demons to each other. Yes, demons.» He was looking pleased, pursing up his red lips and casting delighted coy glances at me with his little eyes.

«Priscilla, let me comb your hair.»

«No, I can't bear to be touched, I feel as if I were a leper, I feel my flesh is rotting, I'm sure I smell-«Priscilla, do take your skirt off, it must be getting so crumpled.»

«What does it matter, what does anything matter, oh I am so unhappy.»

«At least take your shoes off.»

«Sad and awful, sad and awful. Demons. Demons. Yes.»

«Priscilla, do try to relax, you're as rigid as a corpse.»

«I wish I was a corpse.»

«Do at least make an effort to be comfortable!»

«I gave him my life. I haven't got another one. A woman has nothing else.»

«Fruitless and bootless. Fruitless and bootless.»

«Oh I'm so frightened-«Priscilla, there's nothing to be frightened of. Oh God, you are getting me down!»

«Frightened.»

«Do please take your shoes off.»

The front doorbell rang. I opened the door to Rachel and was making her a rueful face when I saw that Julian was standing just behind her.

Rachel said meaningfully, «Julian arrived back and insisted on bringing the thing along herself.»

Julian said, «Of course I'm very glad to bring it back to Priscilla, of course it's hers and she must have it. I do so hope it will make her feel happier and better.»

I let them in and ushered them into the bedroom where Priscilla was still talking to Francis. «He had no idea of equality between us, I suppose no man has, they all despise women-«Men are terrible, terrible-«Visitors, Priscilla!»

Priscilla, her shoes humping the edge of the quilt, was propped up on several pillows. Her eyes were red and swollen with crying, and her mouth was rectangular with complaint, like the mouth of a letter box.

Julian went directly and sat on the bed. She laid the irises down reverently beside Priscilla and then pushed the water-buffalo lady along the coverlet, as if she was amusing a child, and thrust it up against Priscilla's blouse, in the hollow between her breasts. Priscilla, not knowing what the thing was, and looking terrified, gave a little cry of aversion. Julian then took it into her head to kiss her and made a dive at her cheek. Their two chins collided with a click.

I said soothingly, «There you are, Priscilla. There's your water– buffalo lady. She came back home to you after all.»