Charles Dickens - Life And Adventures Of Martin Chuzzlewit

The young gentleman was mistaken in this closing sentence, inasmuch as he never told it to Jinkins, but always to Mrs Todgers.

“However,” he said, “these are not proper subjects for ladies” ears. All I've got to say to you, Mrs Todgers, is, a week's notice from next Saturday. The same house can't contain that miscreant and me any longer. If we get over the intermediate time without bloodshed, you may think yourself pretty fortunate. I don't myself expect we shall.”

“Dear, dear!” cried Mrs Todgers, “what would I have given to have prevented this? To lose you, sir, would be like losing the house's right-hand. So popular as you are among the gentlemen; so generally looked up to; and so much liked! I do hope you'll think better of it; if on nobody else's account, on mine.”

“There's Jinkins,” said the youngest gentleman, moodily. “Your favourite. He'll console you, and the gentlemen too, for the loss of twenty such as me. I'm not understood in this house. I never have been.”

“Don't run away with that opinion, sir!” cried Mrs Todgers, with a show of honest indignation. “Don't make such a charge as that against the establishment, I must beg of you. It is not so bad as that comes to, sir. Make any remark you please against the gentlemen, or against me; but don't say you're not understood in this house.”

“I'm not treated as if I was,” said the youngest gentleman.

“There you make a great mistake, sir,” returned Mrs Todgers, in the same strain. “As many of the gentlemen and I have often said, you are too sensitive. That's where it is. You are of too susceptible a nature; it's in your spirit.”

The young gentleman coughed.

“And as,” said Mrs Todgers, “as to Mr Jinkins, I must beg of you, if we ARE to part, to understand that I don't abet Mr Jinkins by any means. Far from it. I could wish that Mr Jinkins would take a lower tone in this establishment, and would not be the means of raising differences between me and gentlemen that I can much less bear to part with than I could with Mr Jinkins. Mr Jinkins is not such a boarder, sir,” added Mrs Todgers, “that all considerations of private feeling and respect give way before him. Quite the contrary, I assure you.”

The young gentleman was so much mollified by these and similar speeches on the part of Mrs Todgers, that he and that lady gradually changed positions; so that she became the injured party, and he was understood to be the injurer; but in a complimentary, not in an offensive sense; his cruel conduct being attributable to his exalted nature, and to that alone. So, in the end, the young gentleman withdrew his notice, and assured Mrs Todgers of his unalterable regard; and having done so, went back to business.

“Goodness me, Miss Pecksniffs!” cried that lady, as she came into the back room, and sat wearily down, with her basket on her knees, and her hands folded upon it, “what a trial of temper it is to keep a house like this! You must have heard most of what has just passed. Now did you ever hear the like?”

“Never!” said the two Miss Pecksniffs.

“Of all the ridiculous young fellows that ever I had to deal with,” resumed Mrs Todgers, “that is the most ridiculous and unreasonable. Mr Jinkins is hard upon him sometimes, but not half as hard as he deserves. To mention such a gentleman as Mr Jinkins in the same breath with HIM—you know it's too much! And yet he's as jealous of him, bless you, as if he was his equal.”

The young ladies were greatly entertained by Mrs Todgers's account, no less than with certain anecdotes illustrative of the youngest gentleman's character, which she went on to tell them. But Mr Pecksniff looked quite stern and angry; and when she had concluded, said in a solemn voice:

“Pray, Mrs Todgers, if I may inquire, what does that young gentleman contribute towards the support of these premises?”

“Why, sir, for what HE has, he pays about eighteen shillings a week!” said Mrs Todgers.

“Eighteen shillings a week!” repeated Mr Pecksniff.

“Taking one week with another; as near that as possible,” said Mrs Todgers.

Mr Pecksniff rose from his chair, folded his arms, looked at her, and shook his head.

“And do you mean to say, ma'am—is it possible, Mrs Todgers—that for such a miserable consideration as eighteen shillings a week, a female of your understanding can so far demean herself as to wear a double face, even for an instant?”

“I am forced to keep things on the square if I can, sir,” faltered Mrs Todgers. “I must preserve peace among them, and keep my connection together, if possible, Mr Pecksniff. The profit is very small.”

“The profit!” cried that gentleman, laying great stress upon the word. “The profit, Mrs Todgers! You amaze me!”

He was so severe, that Mrs Todgers shed tears.

“The profit!” repeated Mr pecksniff. “The profit of dissimulation! To worship the golden calf of Baal, for eighteen shillings a week!”

“Don't in your own goodness be too hard upon me, Mr Pecksniff,” cried Mrs Todgers, taking out her handkerchief.

“Oh Calf, Calf!” cried Mr Pecksniff mournfully. “Oh, Baal, Baal! oh my friend, Mrs Todgers! To barter away that precious jewel, selfesteem, and cringe to any mortal creature—for eighteen shillings a week!”

He was so subdued and overcome by the reflection, that he immediately took down his hat from its peg in the passage, and went out for a walk, to compose his feelings. Anybody passing him in the street might have known him for a good man at first sight; for his whole figure teemed with a consciousness of the moral homily he had read to Mrs Todgers.

Eighteen shillings a week! Just, most just, thy censure, upright Pecksniff! Had it been for the sake of a ribbon, star, or garter; sleeves of lawn, a great man's smile, a seat in parliament, a tap upon the shoulder from a courtly sword; a place, a party, or a thriving lie, or eighteen thousand pounds, or even eighteen hundred;—but to worship the golden calf for eighteen shillings a week! oh pitiful, pitiful!

The family were within two or three days of their departure from Mrs Todgers's, and the commercial gentlemen were to a man despondent and not to be comforted, because of the approaching separation, when Bailey junior, at the jocund time of noon, presented himself before Miss Charity Pecksniff, then sitting with her sister in the banquet chamber, hemming six new pocket-handkerchiefs for Mr Jinkins; and having expressed a hope, preliminary and pious, that he might be blest, gave her in his pleasant way to understand that a visitor attended to pay his respects to her, and was at that moment waiting in the drawing-room. Perhaps this last announcement showed in a more striking point of view than many lengthened speeches could have done, the trustfulness and faith of Bailey's nature; since he had, in fact, last seen the visitor on the door-mat, where, after signifying to him that he would do well to go upstairs, he had left him to the guidance of his own sagacity. Hence it was at least an even chance that the visitor was then wandering on the roof of the house, or vainly seeking to extricate himself from the maze of bedrooms; Todgers's being precisely that kind of establishment in which an unpiloted stranger is pretty sure to find himself in some place where he least expects and least desires to be.

“A gentleman for me!” cried Charity, pausing in her work; “my gracious, Bailey!”

“Ah!” said Bailey. “It IS my gracious, an't it? Wouldn't I be gracious neither, not if I wos him!”

The remark was rendered somewhat obscure in itself, by reason (as the reader may have observed) of a redundancy of negatives; but accompanied by action expressive of a faithful couple walking armin-arm towards a parochial church, mutually exchanging looks of love, it clearly signified this youth's conviction that the caller's purpose was of an amorous tendency. Miss Charity affected to reprove so great a liberty; but she could not help smiling. He was a strange boy, to be sure. There was always some ground of probability and likelihood mingled with his absurd behaviour. That was the best of it!