Nelson Algren - A Walk on the Wild Side

Here her breast had fitted – why it must be softer yet than this! And tested the garment’s texture against his leathery cheek.

Señora, let me touch your naked heart.

A yearning deep as need can go stretched him onto his stomach, clasping her slip to his chest. Pressing the pillow where her head had lain, his limbs convulsed and a dizzying surge left him limp as the slip. Sweating and passionless, guilty and spent, the boy lay a long moment with shuttered eyes. This had never happened to him before while waking.

‘That’s purty fair pot,’ Dove thought.

And fell into a snoring sleep.

To dream he was coasting gently about a county fair merry-go-round as he had once seen four small monkeys coast. Strapped tight into toy autos, each wearing a jockey cap matching the color of his car, one red, one green, one yellow and one blue; while about the guard rail people crowded and leaned – he touched the peak of his own cap to make sure it wouldn’t blow off when the big race began—

the music began with the happiest bang.

Now he was losing ground, now gaining – now he was almost out in front. O – Hasteth! Hasteth! From his father’s shouting face he saw Eyeless Riley’s skull emerge – the dream wheel tipped straight up, the rails slipped sidewise and out from under.

‘Señora! Save me from Riley!’

He sat in the middle of the floor with the pillow still clasped to his chest. Above him the virgin burned bright. Beside him the stove burned low. Down the dark road Negroes foretold and foretold—

Within the fire Terasina’s eyes saved him from Riley as the dream wheel died with the dream.

‘Old grandpaw came last night,’ was how Fitz said hello one morning to the frost that had come in the night. The roofs of Hooverville shown white and nothing to burn but grapefruit crates and precious few of these.

The single spigot froze, but a Mexican couple two houses down made neighbors welcome to their well. Rumors of a coal train coming through raced from door to door like news of a wedding come June. True or false, it made happy telling: all people would soon be warm once more.

Dove and a boy called Jehova went down the tracks carrying a clothes pole and a sack. Half a hundred men, women and children huddled at the water tower. Barrows and boxes stood about. A Mexican girl held, in a fold of a yellow shawl, a carnival kewpie to her breast. The shawl’s dusty fringes, tumbling past her ankles, had gathered enough soot to start a fire itself. Kewpie and child guarded an empty doll buggy on knock-kneed wheels.

‘Your baby will catch cold, sis,’ Dove teased her, but she gave him only a glance of unmoving enmity for reply.

‘When you’re spoken to, answer,’ Jehova reproached her; but got no more answer than Dove. ‘Wetback fraidy-cat,’ Jehova apologized for her to Dove as the cars came grinding to a clanking screech and the engine began to take on water.

Staking out one side of a car as their own, Jehova climbed atop the coal and lined the iron shelf that runs the length of the car with the biggest lumps he could handle, requiring both his hands. Neither knew why it had to be done this way, except that the other ways were too easy. Dove stood below with the pole. The problem wasn’t only to get the biggest lumps in the shortest time but to keep neighbors from snatching them first.

Jehova finished filling the shelf just as the cars began rolling again. And got down just in time to get the sack open at the shelf ’s end. The first lump, hitting the pole held by Dove, tumbled into the sack. One by one the lumps fell and not one was lost.

As they fell Dove asked Jehova above him – ‘What if these were yams?’ He got no answer, so only asked himself – What if they were onions? At thought of onion gravy his mouth watered – just let somebody tell Dove Linkhorn where he could steal onions and Byron would make the gravy. Somebody shouted – a plain-clothes man was humping down the spine. They lunged down the embankment with the sack between them. In the ditch at the embankment’s foot a doll buggy lay upside down, its wheels still turning this way then that. A few feet away someone had slung a yellow shawl. It stirred. Then its yellow began seeping to black.

‘The wheel caught the buggy but she wouldn’t let go of the handle,’ he heard somebody say.

‘Wait for the priest,’ said somebody else in such a tone that Dove assumed that the priest, when he came, would explain, in low, simple tones, how a child so small could love a doll so much that she had not feared even a freight train’s wheels.

In the final week of January he stood in the woodshed of the Fe warming a glass egg between his palms in remembrance of chickens of summers past. He heard someone trying the front door. His heart raced out of the woodshed before him and his raggedy knees raced after.

Terasina.

Wearing long black gloves and looking so much like one of the unattainable New York tourist women that he stood stock still, barefoot and abashed.

She smiled her wide white smile. She smelled like Mexican sunlight and pecked his cheek when he came. He handed her the egg and said, ‘A little girl got kilt,’ for a thank you.

‘Tell me later,’ she told him, and he went up the old stair so worn by human care, lugging her suitcase that also had had a bit of battering. At the door to her room he stood aside and she went in before him.

He had drawn the blinds and fastened them fast. The room smelled of darkness, soap and peace. His mouth fell full on her own and his mouth was a boy’s: she felt the big deep warmth of all his being in it. Till the kiss grew into a man’s that parted her lips, and flowed into her own. That arched her spine and made her heart drink wine. Her tongue-tip teased his till he gave her his tongue; eyes shut, she drew softly upon it. Her strength began draining as his gathered power till only his enfolding hand held her up. The other he brought up between her thighs so possessively she felt how kind he is to touch so gently and spread herself in gratitude. Of a sudden the blinds were too tight for gratitude, they were being stretched to the point of pain as his lips found her throat and her back felt the bed. She twisted from under and leaned for breath against the bed, the front of her skirt hooked onto her belt. Shame mixed in her with anger. She smoothed the skirt down.

He took a step toward her and she showed him her nails, inviting him to try again. In the dark they glinted like delicate knives forged especially for use against men’s eyes. He tossed his hair back off his forehead and grinned weakly.

‘You find yourself another job,’ she told him.

He turned, disgraced in a groping haze. ‘I think the fire needs fixin’,’ he guessed.

A minute later she heard the big stove begin to roar – whenever he didn’t know what to do with himself he threw kindling into it as though kindling came cheap. She waited until she heard the door close below.

From the window she saw him shambling, the boy who would be a man if she would be a woman, missing steps down a broken walk and every time he missed, she stumbled. ‘It has nothing to do with me.’ Terasina guarded herself all around.

Yet high in the windless light a flight of pelicans ferris-wheeled to the Gulf, the tail-bird supplanting the leader after the manner of pelicans, in a ceaselessly changing cycle; down to a useless sea.

‘Well, a man stays sad when a woman makes a fool of him,’ went through her mind, and a twinge of compunction took her. Where was such a dunce to find another friend?

That night, as the drift of snow in her hair slept in the woodstove’s dreaming light, she knelt before sleep and confessed all her fault. A woman of thirty with a boy of sixteen – she tried her best to feel ashamed, but a sense of contentment rose instead. And contentedly let her head rest on the bed, the better to hear, from some far-off square, old-fashioned music blowing faint across an old-fashioned sea.