Pelham Wodehouse - Spring Fever

"I don't get this."

"Well, I must admit that I am not very clear about it all myself. According to Terry, Stanwood found himself unable to come here, and this Mr. Cardinal made a bet that he could come instead of him and not be found out."

"Sounds crazy."

"Very. I intend to have a word with Mr. Cardinal."

"He's gone to London."

"When he gets back, then."

"But you say Cobbold couldn't come, and he did come."

"Oh, that part of it is easy enough to understand. After a day or two he found he was able to, and he couldn't keep away from Terry. So he came to the inn, and I suppose Spink told him he could get into the castle by pretending to be Mr. Rossiter."

Desborough Topping whistled.

"Then Spink—"

"Exactly. It was a deliberate plot on Spink's part to get possession of that stamp. I shall give him notice immediately."

"I would. The guy's a crook. These thriller fellows are right. Butlers want watching. I remember in Murder at Murslow Grange ... What are you planning to do with the stamp?"

"I've been thinking about that. We shall never know now whom it really belongs to. I think you had better have it."

"Me?"

"Well, nobody claims it, and it's about time you had some sort of return for all you've done for us. After all, you have been supporting the whole family for years."

Desborough Topping was moved. He bent over and kissed his wife.

"I call that mighty good of you, honey. I'll add it to my collection. It isn't every day that one gets the chance of laying one's hands on a Spanish dos reales unused, with an error in colour. But tell me more about the old man. Sozzled, was he?"

"Disgustingly."

"Did you see him?"

"No, I did not actually see him. I heard a crash in the early morning—"

"Oh, there was a crash? I thought so."

"It seemed to come from the library, so I started to go there, and I had nearly reached the door when Mr. Cardinal came rushing out with his eye all swollen. He told me that Father was in there in a terrible state. He said he had broken a window and hit him in the eye, but that I wasn't to worry, because he could get him to bed all right."

"Gee!"

"So I decided to leave everything to him. I am very angry with Mr. Cardinal, but I must say he seems a capable young man. He must have managed, for I heard nothing else. Then, some time later, I thought I would go to the library again and see what damage had been done, and there was

Terry sitting on the sofa with Stanwood Cobbold. At half-past two in the morning!"

"Gosh!"

"He had his arm around her waist."

"Well, I'll be darned!"

"When he saw me, he jumped up, of course, and it suddenly struck me that he was not wearing spectacles."

"Eh?"

"What you had told me of your suspicions had made me doubtful about him, and then I remembered that Spink in one of his letters, when the Rossiters had the castle, had mentioned that the son wore spectacles. So I asked him who he was, and he said he was Stanwood Cobbold. And then he told me that he and Terry were engaged."

"But what were they doing in the library?"

"I suppose they both heard the noise and went to see what had happened, and then they sat down for a talk before going to bed again. Just imagine! At half-past two in the morning! Terry really is the most reckless child. Thank heaven she's going to be married."

"And to a fellow who'll have all the money on earth, if his father loosens up. Which he will, of course. Old Ellery will be tickled stiff about this."

"You had better send him a cable, telling him what has happened. A nice, cordial cable, coming from an old friend. Go and do it now."

"Yes, dear."

"And find Father and tell him I want to see him."

"You wouldn't let him have his hangover in peace?"

"Certainly not."

"Just as you say, dear."

It was some little time before Desborough Topping returned.

"I've sent the cable. I said, 'Well comma Ellery comma old socks comma how's every little thing stop. Your son Stanwood just got engaged to Lady Teresa Cobbold stop. Charming girl stop. Congratulations and all the best stop.' Was that all right?"

"Splendid. Did you find Father?"

"I hunted everywhere. That's what kept me. But I couldn't locate him. Then I met Clare, and she told me that he and Terry had gone off to London. She met them starting out to make the train. She said they were planning to lunch somewhere."

"But Father hasn't any money. I gave him five pounds on his birthday, but he must have spent that when he went to London to meet Stanwood. Where could he have got any more?"

"Ah," said Desborough Topping guardedly. "There's an interesting piece in the paper this morning about the Modern Girl," he said, hastily changing a subject that threatened to become embarrassing. "I'll fetch it for you."

Lord Shortlands' decision to visit London that morning had been one of those instantaneous decisions which men take in sudden crises. No sooner had he learned from Terry of the ingenious ruse whereby Mike some seven hours earlier had succeeded in checking his daughter Adela's advance on the library than the idea of absenting himself from Beevor Castle for a while had come to him in a flash.

It was with mixed feelings that he had listened to her story. A fair-minded man, he admitted that it had been essential for Mike, confronted with that menacing figure, to say something that would ease the strain, but he made no secret of his regret that he had not said something else. Within thirty seconds of the conclusion of the recital he was urging Terry to get dressed as quickly as possible and accompany him to the metropolis while the going was good.

This craven flight would, of course, merely postpone the impending doom, but he had a feeling that he would be able to face Adela with more hardihood after a lunch at Barribault's or some similar establishment, and he had not forgotten that he still had in his possession the greater part of the ten pounds which Desborough Topping had given him on his birthday. His frame of mind was somewhat similar to that of the condemned man who on the morning of his execution makes a hearty breakfast.

They took the eleven-three train, stopping only at Sevenoaks, and their arrival at the terminus found the fifth earl still gloomy and, in addition, extremely bewildered. It may have been because his mind, with so much on it, was not at its brightest, but he had found himself quite unable to follow Terry's tale of her matrimonial commitments. There were moments when he received the impression that she was going to marry young Cardinal, others when it seemed that she was going to marry Stanwood Cobbold, and still others when she appeared to be contemplating marrying both of them.

All very obscure and involved, felt Lord Shortlands, and not at all the sort of thing which a dutiful daughter should have inflicted on a father who had had about an hour and half's sleep. The one fact that emerged clearly was that if ever there was a time for hastening to his club and calling for the wine list, this was it, and he proceeded to do so, arranging with Terry, as before, to meet him in the lobby of Barribault's Hotel at one-thirty. This done, he sped like an arrow to the Senior Buffers.

Terry, for her part, went off to saunter through the streets, to eye the passers-by, to think opalescent thoughts and to pause from time to time to breathe on the shopwindows, particularly those which displayed hats, shoes, toilet soaps and jewellery. All these things she did with a high heart, for she was feeling—and, in the opinion of many who saw her, looking—like the Spirit of Springtime. She lacked the money this time to buy a new hat, but found in her crippled finances no cause for dejection. Hers was a mood of effervescent happiness which did not require the artificial stimulus of new hats. She floated through a world of sunshine and roses.