George Saunders - Lincoln in the Bardo

betsy baron

You might limp a bit.

eddie baron

And after that be scared of horses.

betsy baron

And dogs.

eddie baron

But wandering around in a crowd for five hours? Does not kill you.

betsy baron

What I think? It helps you. Because then you know how to wander around in a crowd for five hours without crying or panicking.

eddie baron

Well, he cried and panicked a little. Once he got home.

betsy baron

Ah, sweet C—, you protect the G — ed little f — ers from everything, next thing they’re calling you to the privy to wipe their a — holes.

One thing I’ll say for Eddie Jr. and Mary Mag? They always wiped their own a — holes.

eddie baron

And we didn’t have no privy.

betsy baron

Just s— wherever.

eddie baron

Why don’t they ever come see us? That’s what I want to know. How long we been here? A pretty f — ing long time. And they never once—

betsy baron

F— them! Those f — ing ingrate snakes have no G — ed right to blame us for a f — ing thing until they walk a f — ing mile in our G — ed shoes and neither f — ing one of the little s — heads has walked even a s — ing half-mile in our f — ing shoes.

eddie baron

Enough, said the Reverend.

hans vollman

These were the Barons.

roger bevins iii

Drunk and insensate, lying in the road, run over by the same carriage, they had been left to recover from their injuries in an unmarked disreputable common sick-pit just beyond the dreaded iron fence, the only white people therein, thrown in with several members of the dark race, not one among them, pale or dark, with a sick-box in which to properly recover.

hans vollman

It was not quite comme il faut that the Barons should presume to speak to the boy.

the reverend everly thomas

Or be on this side of the fence.

hans vollman

It is not about wealth.

the reverend everly thomas

I was not wealthy.

hans vollman

It is about comportment. It is about, let us say, being “wealthy in spirit.”

the reverend everly thomas

The Barons, however, came and went as they pleased. The fence not being an impediment to them.

hans vollman

As in that previous place, they remained unconstrained.

the reverend everly thomas

Ha.

roger bevins iii

Ha ha.

hans vollman

The Barons were followed in rapid succession by Mr. Bunting (“I certainly have nothing of which to be ashamed”), Mr. Ellenby (“I came to this here town with seven dolers stitched in of my panse and do not intend to go any damn plase until someone tell me where in Hel is my dolers”), and Mrs. Proper Fessbitt (“I request one last Hour during which the terrible pain be not Upon me, so that I may bid Farewell to my Dear Ones in a more Genial spirit”), who inched up to the doorway frozen in the same crabbed, fetal posture in which she had spent her last bedridden year in that previous place.

roger bevins iii

Dozens more still excitedly waited to speak with the lad, buoyant with new hope.

hans vollman

But alas, it was not to be.

the reverend everly thomas

Presently we became aware, by way of certain familiar signs, that trouble was brewing.

roger bevins iii

It happened as it always happens.

the reverend everly thomas

A hush fell across the premises.

roger bevins iii

The scraping of winter branches against winter branches could be heard.

hans vollman

A warm breeze arose, fragrant with all manner of things that give comfort: grass, sun, beer, bread, quilts, cream — this list being different for each of us, each being differently comforted.

roger bevins iii

Flowers of extraordinary color, size, shape, and fragrance sprang forth fully formed from the earth.

the reverend everly thomas

The gray February trees began to blossom.

hans vollman

Then yielded fruit.

the reverend everly thomas

Fruit responsive to one’s wishing: only let the mind drift in the direction of a certain color (silver, say) and shape (star) and, of the instant, a bounty of star-shaped silver fruits would sag the limbs of a tree that seconds before had stood fruitless and winter-dead.

roger bevins iii

The paths between our mounds, the spaces beneath trees, the seats of the benches, the crooks and limbs of the trees themselves (in short, every available inch of space) became spontaneously filled, then overfilled, with food of every variety: in pots and upon fine plates; on spits run between boughs; in golden troughs; in diamond tureens; in tiny emerald saucebowls.

the reverend everly thomas

A wall of water rushed in from the north, then divided itself with military precision into dozens of sub-streams, such that each stone home and sick-mound soon had its own dedicated tributary; the water in these tributaries then rather flamboyantly converting itself into coffee, wine, whiskey, and back into water again.

hans vollman

All of these things, we knew (the fruited trees, the sweet breeze, the endless food, the magical streams), comprised merely the advance guard, so to speak, of what was coming.

the reverend everly thomas

Of who was coming.

hans vollman

Sent by them to exert a softening effect.

the reverend everly thomas

We steeled ourselves accordingly.

hans vollman

It was best to roll into a ball, cover the ears, close the eyes, mash the face into the earth, thereby plugging the nose.

roger bevins iii

Strength now, all! shouted Mr. Vollman.

the reverend everly thomas

And they were upon us.

hans vollman

They entered in lengthy procession.

hans vollman

Each of us apprehending them in a different guise.

the reverend everly thomas

Young girls in summer dresses, brown-skinned and jolly, hair unbound, weaving strands of grass into bracelets, giggling as they passed: country girls, joyful and gay.

Like me.

Like I had been.

mrs. abigail blass

A swarm of beautiful young brides arrayed in thinnish things, silk collars fluttering.

hans vollman

Angels, attentive to strangely corporeal wings, one large wing per woman, that, upon retraction, became a pale flag, tightly furled, running down the spine.

the reverend everly thomas

Hundreds of exact copies of Gilbert, my first (my only!) lover. As he had looked on our best afternoon in the carriage house, gray horse-towel wrapped carelessly about his waist.

roger bevins iii

My girls. Cathryn, Maribeth, Alice. Multiple duplicates of each, going along hand in hand, hair up in Trenton braids, each wearing her last-Easter dress and holding a single sunflower.

jane ellis

A greeting Party of SHARD-lasses (Arrayed in the crude Smocks they Favor’d, falling off their Shoulders in deliberate Sluttiness) didst come forth to Grovel before me; but I had seen and Defeated their Ilk many times Before, & did now leave a generous Brown Turd for their Gift, and Retreated me Home, to await their Departure.

lieutenant cecil stone

The brides moved stealthily, like hunters, seeking for any sign of weakness.

hans vollman

Where is my dear Reverend? the lead angel called, her voice redolent of the fragile glass bells we had always rung upon Easter Sunday.

the reverend everly thomas

One of the multiple Gilberts came over and, kneeling beside me, asked, would I kindly unstop my ears and just please look at him?

Something in his voice made it impossible to disobey.

He was beautiful beyond measure.

Come with us, he whispered. Here it is all savagery and delusion. You are of finer stuff. Come with us, all is forgiven.