Жаклин Уилсон - Girls In Love

So off I go to Magda’s on Saturday and we have a fun time with her family. You should see the birthday presents they gave her! It’s not as if they’re rolling in money either. She gets a VCR for her bedroom and a satin blouse a bit like mine but much more clingy and a huge cuddly bunny and a lacy nightie and a big box of chocs and posh lipstick and nail varnish and lots of CDs and scent and a necklace and a great big basket of smelly stuff.

Nadine sends her a Forever Friends card to show she really wants to make up, with a pair of ultra-sexy black knickers inside. I give Magda a cartoon card I drew myself, with Magda up on a pedestal being worshipped by all these different males, not just Greg and his mates and poor sappy Adam, but people like Mr Lanes the History teacher who is quite dishy in a mature sort of way, and I add all her favourite film stars and rock stars too. It sounds like showing off, but she really loves that card – and my present too. That’s home-made as well. Anna helped me make it last night. Magda’s always liked the Cookie Monster in Sesame Street so I baked her a whole batch of different cookies, chocolate and raisin and cherry, and then when they were cool I put them in a special tin. It’s airtight so the cookies can keep, but as we spend most of Saturday afternoon in Magda’s room mucking around and watching videos we keep stuffing cookies one after the other, so there aren’t many actually left now.

It’s a good job my new skirt has an elasticated waistband because Magda’s mum gets together this incredible birthday cake and crème brûlée and tiramisú and banoffi pie – and all the poached salmon and quiche and chicken and little-sausage-on-stick stuff.

‘We’d better watch what we drink at Seventh Heaven or there’s going to be a serious chucking-up situation!’ Magda whispers.

I’m starting to feel a bit sick actually when we set out. Not because of all the food. Because suddenly Seventh Heaven is the very last place I want to go to. You have to queue up to get in and this awful bouncer guy at the door eyes you up and down and if he thinks you’re too young or too wet or too boring he won’t let you in.

I don’t want to go – but it would still be terrible to be turned away!

‘Come on, Ellie! What are you hanging back for?’ Magda asks.

‘My shoes hurt,’ I say – which is true. And the slit in my skirt isn’t that big, so my knees are a bit hobbled. ‘Magda . . . what if we don’t get in?’

‘We will. You leave it to me,’ says Magda.

‘We don’t know anyone that goes there.’

‘So? We’ll be part of this great new crowd,’ says Magda. ‘And anyway, we know Nadine, don’t we?’

It’s seriously weird when we get there and join the queue. There are some very tall glam girls with very tarty clothes and lots of make-up who make me feel very small and mousy.

‘Clock all those trannies!’ says Magda, giving me a nudge.

I blink and take another look. Magda’s right, they’re boys under all the blusher. And there are ordinary gay guys too, in tight T-shirts and fantastic tight leather trousers, showing off their muscle tone. There are girls too, giggling together, with cropped hair and nose studs.

‘I think it’s a gay night,’ I hiss. ‘Oh, Magda, maybe we’re going to look stupid if we try to get in tonight.’

‘Relax, babe. It’s everybody’s night,’ says Magda, nodding at a crowd of guys further up the queue. ‘Wow, they look pretty tasty. Now they’re not gay, I’m sure of it. And look, there are loads of straight couples too. Can you see Nadine and Dracula?’

I can’t see them at all. I just see lots and lots of cool clubby chic people and I feel smaller and sadder every second. We’re working our way up the queue now and I’m so scared the guy will yell ‘You must be joking, you don’t belong here, you silly little schoolgirl,’ and then I’ll literally shrivel up in my suede shoes and die here and now.

But Magda winks at him saucily and he grins at her and nods us both in, just like that. I can’t believe it!

It’s so great, seeing inside Seventh Heaven. It’s midnight-blue with luminous stars and incredible strobes and the music is so loud and the smoky-cloud stuff pumping all over the place is so strange that I stop being me, Ellie, I’m this new cool clubber and I’m here to have fun. Magda and I have a quick tour round to see if we can spot Nadine but she’s not here yet. Magda takes me by the wrist and we get onto the dance floor. I’m not too bad at dancing but I generally worry in case anyone’s looking at me and noticing my fat bum but now I just get into the rhythm and leap around like part of the crowd. I am the crowd. We’re all the crowd and it’s truly fantastic.

Only we get tired eventually and go to get a drink. Magda orders two vodka and cranberry juices at the bar, but the barman tells her to dream on. So we have the juice without the vodka. It’s more refreshing that way.

Then this older guy comes up and starts hitting on Magda, leaning over and whispering in her ear. My heart starts hammering, because what am I going to do if she gets off with someone? – but then Magda shakes her head and he goes away.

‘What was he saying?’ I ask.

‘Oh, he was pushing E and whizz and all that junk,’ says Magda.

‘ Really? ’ I say, staring after this real live drug-pusher.

‘It’s OK. I made it plain we’re not into drugs.’

There are lots of other kids who obviously are . As it gets later lots start crashing about, their eyes huge and staring. A girl near us suddenly sits on the floor and starts weeping.

I stare at her, wondering if she’s all right. Suddenly Seventh Heaven doesn’t seem quite such a glittery place after all. I still can’t see Nadine anywhere. Maybe she isn’t going to turn up.

Magda and I dance again, and I have to take my shoes off, but I don’t dare put them down in case they get kicked away so I dangle them by their straps, which is a bit awkward. I’m starting to get ever so tired. I think Magda is too.

Then way off at the other side of the club, right at the back, I think I see this blond head. My dream guy! Well, maybe not, I can’t see properly. Heaps of guys have that amazing fair hair, though I think it really could be him, only now there’s a whole load of other kids in front of him.

‘Let’s go over the other side for a bit,’ I suggest, trying to sound dead casual, though I have to yell in Magda’s ear before she can hear me above the music.

We’re edging our way over when we spot Nadine at last. She’s dancing wildly, her dark hair flying, her eyes very big, very black, very staring.

‘What the hell is she on?’ says Magda.

Liam is with her. It’s horrible the way he’s leering at her.

‘Hey, Nadine!’ Magda yells, charging over to her. ‘You look ever so hot. I think you maybe need a drink. Come to the ladies’ room, eh?’

Liam tells Magda to get lost. Magda takes no notice. ‘ Nadine . Come on.’ Magda takes hold of one arm, I take the other, and we pull her away.

I glance back once but I can’t see any blond head now. Maybe I was mistaken anyway.

Nadine is all sweaty and stares at us blearily, practically out of it.

‘What has that pig got you to take, eh?’ Magda says fiercely. ‘You’d better have a drink of water. Several. You’re dehydrated. Only not too much,’ she says, as Nadine bends over the washbasin in the ladies’ and starts slurping straight from the tap. ‘Honestly! You’re like a baby. It’s a good job Ellie and I are here to keep an eye on you.’

Magda finds a paper cup and we give Nadine a couple of drinks. Then she staggers off to the loo.