Жаклин Уилсон - Girls In Love

I snuggle into her, though I feel guilty. ‘It’s just . . . Oh, I wish I could explain properly, Nad,’ I whisper.

‘I know,’ says Nadine – though she doesn’t. ‘Look, things are a bit difficult with Liam and me too. We had this sort of row yesterday.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Because I won’t, you know, go the whole way. I just don’t feel ready to. And the magazines say you shouldn’t do it till you are ready – look.’ She reaches for the magazine and shows me this letter.

‘Bla bla bla, “so don’t let your boyfriend do . . .” Ooh! “And if he complains that his tackle . . .” What’s his tackle ? Like in fishing rod ?’

We both get a fit of the giggles.

‘No, you nutcase. It’s his . . . you know.’

Oh. Yes. Even I can work it out now. I carry on reading the letter. ‘So does your Liam get all narked with you like the guy in the letter?’

‘He did yesterday. He said he’d been ever so patient. And didn’t I love him enough. And I said I loved him desperately but I still didn’t feel ready, right? And he said if I wasn’t ready now I never would be, and what was the matter with me, didn’t I want our relationship to develop.’ Nadine’s not giggling now, she’s nearly in tears.

‘Oh, Nad. He’s acting like a right . . . tackle !’ I hope she’ll laugh, but a tear drips down her cheek.

‘No, I can understand, Ellie. I mean, it’s so frustrating for him—’

‘That’s rubbish ! Look, you don’t have to do anything with him. You’re only thirteen, for goodness’ sake. It’s against the law .’

‘Yes, but nobody takes any notice of that. And all his other girlfriends have always done it, no bother.’

‘There you are! You don’t want to be one of a whole long line of stupid girls. Honestly, Nadine, where’s your brain ?’

‘I have often been tempted to ask that question myself,’ says Mrs Henderson, walking through the door.

Nadine shoves her mag under her desk and bends her head so that her hair hides her tear-stained face.

Mrs Henderson approaches. She’s actually looking concerned . ‘What’s up, mmm?’ she says, in a different sort of voice altogether. ‘I know you girls think I come from another planet – but maybe I can still help. What’s the problem?’

Nadine fidgets behind her hair. I look down at my lap.

‘Nadine?’ says Mrs Henderson. ‘Are you upset about a boyfriend, is that it?’

I suppose it’s a reasonably obvious guess, with Nadine’s neck still purple.

Nadine keeps quiet.

‘It does help to talk things over, you know,’ says Mrs Henderson. ‘And no problem is unique. I’m sure I’ve had similar problems myself.’

I immediately get this amazing image in my head of Mrs Henderson doing this particular thing to Mr Henderson. I have to bite the sides of my cheeks to stop myself shrieking with laughter. Nadine’s shoulders shake. She’s obviously got the same mental image. Thank God Mrs Henderson doesn’t twig the trouble.

‘Don’t cry, Nadine,’ she says gently.

Nadine gives a little gasp.

Mrs Henderson interprets it as a sob. ‘Oh, come on, now. Well, I can’t force you to confide in me. But don’t forget, I’m always here. Now. How far have you got with your lines?’

Nadine hands her page over, her head still bent.

‘“I must not be insolant.” One hundred times. Oh dear, I really ought to give you another hundred: “I must learn to spell:” In-so- lent , Nadine. But never mind. Off you go now. And you too, Eleanor.’

I hand in my own page, hoping she won’t count the lines as I’m still only at seventy-something. She scans them quickly, raises an eyebrow, but waves me away.

Nadine and I hold our breath till we’re safely down the corridor, and then we let out great whoops of laughter. At least it cheers Nadine up for a bit. But she still can’t seem to see any kind of sense at all.

The next day I have a private word with Magda.

‘She’s totally mental,’ says Magda.

‘I know. But there’s no way I can get through to her,’ I say.

‘I’ll have a go,’ says Magda.

‘Well. Do be ever so tactful. And don’t let out that I said anything, eh?’ I say, but Magda isn’t listening to me.

‘Nadine! Come over here! Ellie says you’re going to do it with Liam, you silly cow.’

Practically every girl in the playground looks up and gawps.

‘Magda! You and your big mouth!’ I say.

‘I think it’s you and your big mouth, Ellie,’ says Nadine. ‘Thanks a bunch.’

‘Hey, don’t be like that,’ says Magda, rushing over to her and putting her arm round her neck.

‘Get off me, Magda!’

‘I just want to talk to you, Nadine.’

‘Yeah, but I don’t want to talk about it, OK?’

‘We’re mates, aren’t we?’

‘But this isn’t about you and me and Ellie. It’s just to do with me and Liam. So you keep your nose out of it, OK? And you too, Ellie,’ says Nadine, and she stalks off by herself.

‘Shall we go after her?’ says Magda.

‘We’ll be wasting our time,’ I say miserably.

I know Nadine too well. She’ll never listen to either of us now. I feel I’ve really blown it. I’ve betrayed Nadine’s confidence – and I haven’t helped her in the slightest.

She barely talks to either of us all day. When school is over she goes rushing off to meet up with Liam, who’s waiting for her by the wall.

‘So let’s have a word with him, eh?’ says Magda.

‘No! You can’t! And Nadine would kill us,’ I say.

We don’t get the chance anyway, because Nadine and Liam hurry away. It’s cold, so Liam is wearing this incredible black leather jacket.

‘That is a seriously sexy jacket,’ Magda says wistfully. ‘He might be a pig but he sure looks good. Why can’t Greg wear a leather jacket? He’s got this naff zippy thing that is practically an anorak.’

‘How’s it going with Greg, anyway?’ I ask.

‘Well . . .’ says Magda, and sighs.

‘ He doesn’t want you to . . .?’

‘Per-lease!’ says Magda. ‘Greg??? No, he’s OK, he’s quite sweet actually, but all we seem to do is talk homework and hang out at McDonald’s. Ah! Which reminds me. One of Greg’s mates, Adam, is having a party this Saturday. His parents are away for the weekend so they’re planning a serious rave-up. Want to come?’

I stare at her, heart beating.

She mistakes my hesitation. ‘Look, I know you and Dan are an item and the last thing you want is to meet someone new at a party. I mean, you’ve got a boyfriend.’

Oh, Magda! If you only knew. A party. I’ve never ever been to a party before. Well, of course I’ve been to parties – the little-girly balloons-and-birthday-cake kind. But I’ve never been to a party with boys .

‘Please come, Ellie. It should be a laugh, if nothing else. Maybe I’ll meet a new boyfriend. Greg is OK, but he’s seriously lacking when it comes to street cred. His mates might have more potential.’

I don’t know what to say, what to do. A serious rave-up. No parents. And boys, boys, boys.

It sounds incredible.

It sounds incredibly scary. I think drink. I think drugs. I think bedrooms.

I want to go. Maybe I’ll meet a real boyfriend. One of Greg’s mates. Although perhaps they’ll have girls already.

‘Are you sure it won’t be just a couple party?’ I say.

‘ No , that’s the point. This Adam is inviting along half Year Eleven at Andersons, and most of them are totally un coupled. They’re desperate for more girls. Greg practically begged me to ask some along. I was thinking – who else shall we ask, eh?’