Эрин Хантер - Legends of the Clans

His paws ached and the earth was heavy. Digging was much harder alone than it had been when he and Lightning Tail dug the rogue’s grave together. But Lightning Tail deserved to be laid in the earth the right way. The thought gave Thunderstar new strength, and the strain of his muscles was almost comforting: He was doing this for Lightning Tail.

As he dug, he thought about Violet Dawn and his kits again. Lightning Tail had believed Thunderstar would be a good father. But how could he look after tiny, helpless kits properly when he hadn’t managed to protect his best friend, a powerful warrior?

He would have to try to trust in himself, and trust in Violet Dawn. Maybe Lightning Tail would watch over the kits from StarClan. Lightning Tail had always loved kits.

Finally, the hole was deep enough, and Thunderstar gently pushed Lightning Tail’s body into the grave.

When it was covered again, he laid some grass across it so that the earth wouldn’t look too freshly disturbed—and no predator would dig to find what was buried below.

It was very quiet here. Thunderstar bowed his head and spoke. “I’ll miss you so much, Lightning Tail. You were brave and clever and loyal, and you always helped any cat who needed you. You died saving me, and there’s no way I can thank you properly for that.” Thunderstar took a deep breath, his mouth dry. “Good-bye, Lightning Tail. I’ll never forget you.”

The shadows were lengthening again. It was time to go back to camp, time to tell ThunderClan that their deputy would not be returning. Thunderstar turned away from his friend’s grave and began the long walk home.

It was dark by the time Thunderstar, sore-pawed and exhausted, reached the ThunderClan camp. He slipped through the gorse tunnel, nodding at Leaf, who was standing guard, but said nothing. The camp was quiet, the cats asleep.

Violet Dawn was sleeping, too, in the mossy nest they shared in their den. In just the two days that he’d been gone, she seemed to have grown even more round. He lay down beside her and felt a kit squirm inside her belly, tiny paws kicking at him through her side. Warmth spread through him at this proof that the kits were alive and growing.

In a moment, though, his joy dimmed. How could he be happy so soon after Lightning Tail’s death? In the morning, he would have to tell the Clan what had happened. His chest felt tight at the thought. No matter how gently he tried to tell them, they would suffer. Every cat in the Clan had loved Lightning Tail. And would they blame Thunderstar? He had been given nine lives so he could protect his Clan, but instead, Lightning Tail had died protecting him.

Thunderstar rolled over onto his back, gazing up at the rock at the top of his den. He was so tired, but his mind was spinning. He shifted again, accidentally bumping Violet Dawn’s side.

“Hmm?” she murmured softly, and her eyes blinked open. “Thunderstar,” she mewed sleepily. “I missed you.”

He nuzzled his cheek against hers. “I missed you, too. How are you feeling?” Her voice sounded weak, he thought.

Violet Dawn shrugged. “I’m okay. The kits have been really lively at night, so I haven’t been sleeping well.”

“You aren’t sleeping?” Thunderstar asked, alarmed.

Violet Dawn purred. “Don’t worry so much,” she told him. “Cloud Spots says I’m fine, and it’s completely normal for the kits to be keeping me up this close to when they’ll be born. Milkweed says the same thing, and she’s had kits three times. The only problem was that I was feeling too tired to lead the Clan while you were gone. But Owl Eyes has been doing great,” she added quickly. “He’s kept everything running smoothly and even sent out extra hunting patrols to take advantage of the good weather.” She gave a little huff of amusement. “If Lightning Tail doesn’t watch out, Owl Eyes will be deputy before he knows it.”

Thunderstar stiffened. Violet Dawn, sensitive to his moods as always, sat up. “What is it?” she asked, concerned. “Did you find the dogs? Are we going to have to move camp?”

“No,” Thunderstar answered sadly. “We’re not going to have to move. Lightning Tail and I took care of the dogs.” He felt his whiskers drooping. “Lightning Tail was really brave,” he added.

“Well, that’s good, isn’t it?” Violet Dawn sounded puzzled. “But what’s wrong?”

I shouldn’t upset her when she’s carrying kits, Thunderstar thought. But how could he pretend that nothing had happened? Every cat would be wondering where Lightning Tail was in the morning.

And Violet Dawn had never flinched from facing the truth.

“Lightning Tail fought valiantly,” Thunderstar told her. “But the dogs were too fast and too strong for us. They killed him. They killed me, too, but Star Clan gave me nine lives, so I came back again.”

In the darkness he could see the glint of Violet Dawn’s wide eyes staring at him. She sat absolutely still for a few heartbeats, and then gave out a wail of grief. “ No! Oh, no!” Her cry echoed around the clearing.

From out in the camp came sleepy exclamations as cats began to stir.

“What’s going on?”

“Are we under attack?”

“The dogs! The dogs!”

Violet Dawn wailed again. Thunderstar curled against her, licking her fur, trying to comfort her.

“It’s Violet Dawn!”

“Are the kits coming?”

Violet Dawn took a deep, shuddering breath. Pressing her face against Thunderstar’s shoulder for a moment, she sobbed once and then pulled back, calming herself. “They need to know what happened. Let’s go out,” she meowed.

Thunderstar shook his head. “You’re more important right now. You need to rest.”

“No.” She got to her feet, her heavy body dignified. “I will be fine. Come on.” She led him out of their den, her head held high.

Out in the clearing, the whole Clan was milling around, their faces worried. At Thunderstar’s appearance, they surged forward.

“Thunderstar, you’re back!” Milkweed mewed, Beech Tail and Patch Pelt staggering sleepily behind her.

“Why is it so loud ?” Beech Tail asked crossly, her little tail switching. “Why is every cat awake?”

“What happened?” Pink Eyes blinked nearsightedly at Thunderstar. “We heard a terrible yowl.”

“Is some cat hurt?” Shivering Rose and Blue Whisker were huddled close together.

Thunderstar looked around. Every cat’s face was turned toward him—anxious, concerned, expecting him to put everything right.

“I—” He paused and leaped up onto the Highrock so that every cat could see him. “I have bad news,” he began.

He expected them to erupt in a babble of speculation, but instead the clearing was silent, every cat’s face turned toward him.

He swallowed hard. “We found the dogs, and they won’t be coming back. But Lightning Tail was killed. He… he died saving my life.” Thunderstar didn’t add that he had died, too, or that StarClan had fulfilled their promise and brought him back. He couldn’t bear to, not when Lightning Tail was gone.

Cries of mourning rose all around him.

They would blame him, now that he had admitted that Lightning Tail had died protecting him, Thunderstar thought. But looking around, he saw that he had underestimated his Clan. The faces below him were contorted with grief, but there was no anger or hatred. As their cries gradually fell silent, he saw nothing but love in their faces.

Apple Blossom stood up, her head high. “Lightning Tail was a good deputy and a fine cat. He taught me to hunt and to fight. He was never impatient with me, and when I was discouraged, he always had an exciting story to tell me to make me feel strong again.”