Robin Wasserman - Lust

But all she said aloud was, “I’m sure if she loves you, she’ll make time for you.” Sweetly. If not sincerely.

Adam had always been the one guy in her life who didn’t really appreciate the Harper Grace Bitch on Wheels show-maybe because he was also the only one who saw it for the act it was. Or at least that was his take on things, and she was perfectly happy to keep him in the dark about the “real” Harper Grace. If he wanted to think the hard shell covered a soft center of sugar and spice and everything nice, so much the better.

“Yeah, well, in the meantime, I’m in for the night,” he complained.

Harper was about to suggest an alternative, when-

“Or maybe I’ll give Kaia a call. She’s been wanting to go take a look at some spots for the party. Could be fun.”

Harper gritted her teeth. She’d remained silent on the subject for a week now, saying nothing when Adam invited Kaia to come sit with them at lunch, forcing a smile when he had driven her off on a tour of the “sights,” grinning and bearing it every time Kaia accidentally-on-purpose brushed up against him with her fingers, her shoulder, or, increasingly often, her chest. She’d waited for Beth to do her dirty work for her-but Beth was apparently too busy to notice that her carefully trained lapdog was sniffing around someone else’s yard, so maybe she’d waited long enough.

“Adam, don’t you think Beth might get a little jealous of you taking some other girl out for the night?” she suggested hesitantly.

“Who, Kaia?” he glanced at her briefly in surprise, then turned his eyes back to the road. “It’s not like that. Beth knows that-besides, don’t you want us to find a place? It’s your party, I’d think you would be a little grateful.”

So defensive-what was the deal with that?

“It’s not that,” she protested. “I just don’t want you getting too involved with her. I…”

Hate her?

Despise her?

Loathe her with every fiber of existence?

“… don’t trust her.”

“You don’t even know her!” Adam exploded. “People always do that, and it’s not like they know what the hell they’re talking about.”

“What people? Always do what? What the hell are you talking about?”

Adam tightened his lips into a thin and narrow line and, although they were stopped at a light, refused to turn his head and face her. He stared straight ahead, his shoulders tense, his voice hard. “I just-I think you should give someone the benefit of the doubt for once, Harper.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“You can be kind of hard on people,” he stammered. “And Kaia-I just think Kaia could use a break.”

“Oh, please!” Harper burst into harsh laughter. “That girl’s entire life has been a break.”

“What do you know about it?” he retorted.

“More than you, apparently.” She threw up her hands in disgust, then brought one down to rest lightly on his shoulder. “Adam, are you really this naive?”

“Apparently I am,” he said stonily, shrugging her off. He turned up the radio, the pounding rock beat drowning out whatever Harper might have said in response.

They drove the rest of the way in very loud, very angry silence.

“I don’t know what his problem is,” Harper complained. “It’s bad enough having to watch him tag along after Beth like a lonely puppy, but if that bitch gets her claws into him…”

“Jesus, Harper, dial it down a notch,” Miranda said, lighting her friend’s cigarette. “Do I have to start making catfight hisses or something?”

“I just can’t stand her,” Harper growled. She raised the cigarette to her mouth and inhaled deeply, then flopped back onto the freshly cut grass, breathing in the summery smell and enjoying the cool touch of the tiny stalks against her bare neck. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, watching her chest rise and fall, and tried to find somewhere to bury all of her anger toward Kaia, toward Beth, toward everything. When that didn’t work, she ripped a few clumps of grass out of the ground, pretending they were strands of Kaia’s glossy hair. “This year isn’t starting out the way I expected it to,” she sighed.

“Yeah, yeah, tell me about it.” Miranda let herself fall back onto the grass next to her friend and stared up at the wide expanse of cloudless sky. It was a warm day, not-as was usually the case-blisteringly hot, just warm. If you closed your eyes and held perfectly still, you could almost feel a cool breeze brushing past, the air smelling crisp and clean-a nice change from the traditional Grace bouquet: smog and asphalt. It felt almost like rain, although Miranda knew that the desert rain, if it came at all this year, would arrive as a dirty gray drizzle for a few days in January. Still, there was something sweet and fresh in the air, something that felt almost like fall. Or what she imagined fall might be like. Weather like this should be enough to make you forget everything-the bitchy new girl, the math class they were cutting, the SATs, college applications, and their many, many guy problems.

But maybe that was asking too much of the weather.

“Harper?” she began hesitantly, hoping that her friend wouldn’t laugh when she heard why Miranda had coaxed her into spending this period smoking in the football field rather than sitting blankly through a lecture on binomials. “I’ve got a secret.”

Harper shifted onto her side to face Miranda. “Spill it-you know I must know everything ,” she ordered eagerly.

“It’s Kane,” Miranda told her, avoiding Harper’s eyes and instead looking over her shoulder into the distance; she could just barely make out a few small figures scurrying back and forth through the glass corridor that joined the classroom building with the cafeteria and gym. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to continue, trying to convince herself that Harper would understand. “I kind of, I mean, I think I…”

Trying to get the words out made her realize how stupid the thought was. What would he ever want with her ? But if you can’t tell your best friend your most embarrassing secrets, who can you tell… right?

“Well, do you think he might ever want to go out some time?” Miranda finally spit out, all in one breath. “I mean, with me?” she clarified quietly.

Harper sat straight up and peered down at Miranda incredulously.

“ That’s your big secret?You have a crush on Kane? Duh.” She flopped back down again. “I thought you had something interesting to tell me.”

“You knew?” Miranda froze, a cavernous hole opening in the pit of her stomach, her heart beating wildly in her ears.

Harper rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Rand, I’m your best friend,” she pointed out. “Plus, and more importantly, I’m not blind. Of course I knew. I’ve just been waiting for you to break the news.” She laughed. “Big secret. Right.”

Miranda had to remind herself to breathe. If Harper had figured it out-if it was so obvious…

“Uh… do you think that-does everyone know?” she asked in a small voice.

Meaning, of course, does he know?

“No, no, I’m sure they don’t,” Harper instantly assured her, realizing she’d sent her friend into total crisis mode. “But what’s the big deal, anyway? He’s got to know eventually. I mean, are you picturing ramming your tongue down his throat and then taking a time-out to say, ‘But don’t get me wrong, Kane, I just like you as a friend’?”

“Harper!” A bright red blush spread across Miranda’s face-and, judging from the warm tingling she felt from the top of her head to her fingertips and toes-it didn’t stop there.

“What?” Harper grinned and stuck her tongue out at Miranda. “You know you want to.”