Robin Wasserman - Pride

“Of course, of course-well, that’s perfect, then. It’s been lovely hearing from you, darling.”

“But-”

“Let’s chat again soon, shall we?”

And the line went dead.

Once upon a time, there was a shy young girl who wanted nothing more than to get out of her small-town life and see the world. She thought she’d be trapped in her tiny, boring house forever-and then one magical day, she opened a book. And the whole world changed.

Beth crumpled up the paper in disgust. It was so melodramatic, so cheesy-so lame. Almost as bad as her first effort:

My name is Beth Manning and I would love to attend (Your School Here). I am bright and energetic, the editor of my school newspaper, and I think I could make an excellent addition to (Your School Here).

Yeah, that was great. She might as well just submit a blank page with the heading “I am so boring, I have literally nothing to say for myself. Please admit me, anyway.”

Out of desperation, she’d checked out How to Write a Winning College Essay from the Grace local library-hoping that even though it was written in 1987, it would still help her get over her writer’s block. But so far? Nothing.

Be creative, the book urged. Be yourself . Unless “yourself” is weird or just totally bland, Beth thought dispiritedly. Then maybe it was best to be someone else.

She wondered if Harper was even bothering to fill out her applications (the way things were going, maybe she’d just steal Beth’s). How might her essay read? “I’m Harper Grace, and I’ll be attending your school next year, because I want to-and, let’s be honest, I always get what I want.”

But Beth was too sickened by the thought of Harper to continue down that road-because that led to Harper-and-Adam, and that usually led to her leaning over the toilet, waiting for a wave of nausea to pass.

Be honest, the book kept saying. Talk about what you want, what you’re proud of Why you’re special .

But how was she supposed to do that in an essay when she couldn’t do it in real life? She didn’t seem to know how to be honest about what she wanted anymore-not with Kane, not with Adam, not with herself. And she had no idea who she was anymore. Before, it had been easy. Beth, the good girl. Everyone knew it. But now? She smiled, thinking of how much she’d enjoyed tormenting Harper at the diner, how she’d managed to convince Mr. White to saddle her with the dreaded Christmas shift. Was that the work of a good girl?

Maybe honesty was the answer after all.

I used to be the perfect student, the perfect daughter, the perfect girlfriend. Then my boyfriend dumped me, I tanked the SATs-and now I don’t know who I am or what I’m doing. I do know that I still want a future, and I want it away from here-and that if you take a chance on me, it just might pay off.

Well… it was a start.

Just not a good one.

Mercifully, the phone rang, and although Beth had promised herself no breaks until she’d finished a draft, she leaped to answer it.

“Hey, it’s me-what are you doing?”

Beth wondered-was it strange that she’d been dating Kane for over a month and a part of her still found it a little bizarre that he was a part of her life, that they spoke so often that she was expected to recognize his voice? She did, of course-but something about the casual intimacy still threw her off. She just wished she knew why. “Working.” She sighed. “Sort of.”

“It’s Christmas,” he pointed out.

“Don’t remind me. My brothers are on a massive sugar high from all the candy canes. From the sound of it, they’re having some kind of shouting contest.”

“I know, I can hear it.”

“What? Where-” Beth went over to her window and looked out. Sure enough, Kane was lounging against a tree. He smirked at the sight of her and gave her a languid wave. “What are you doing out there?” she asked, laughing. “Do you want to come in?”

“Actually…” And in that pause, Beth was reminded of how much Kane hated her house. He’d never said anything, of course, but whenever he stepped inside, she could tell it got to him-the noise, the clutter, the size (or lack thereof). It didn’t usually bother her, but when Kane was there, it felt like a zoo-she was just glad he didn’t think of her as one of the animals.

“I was hoping you could come out and play,” he said, affecting an innocent little-boy voice.

Beth giggled.

“I’ve got all this stuff to do, my essay-”

“Just for a little break? I’m booooored,” he whined.

“Well… I do have to give you your Christmas present,” she mused. “And maybe if it were just a quick break.”

“You can’t resist me,” Kane boasted and, giving her another wave, snapped his phone shut. Beth shook her head. For whatever reason, it was true.

Victory. He’d gotten her away from her work and out of the house-but was it normal that those be such major triumphs? Never having had a real girlfriend before, Kane didn’t really have any idea how often you were supposed to see her or what you were supposed to do when you did-and with Adam still pouting, he didn’t have anyone to ask.

While he hadn’t gotten everything-or really, anything-he’d wanted out of Beth up in the mountains, Kane was no quitter, not when it came to beautiful women. And then there was the disconcerting fact that he was actually enjoying her company-fully clothed, out of bed, inches of space between them, and he still wanted her around. It didn’t make any sense.

Not that there weren’t a few occasional perks.

“Mmm,” he breathed when they broke from a long kiss hello. “You smell amazing. What is that?”

“Um.” She blushed and tucked her hair behind her ears-a nervous habit that, Kane was ashamed to admit, he was beginning to find adorable. “Shampoo?”

“So what’s this I hear about a present?” he asked, taking her hand and leading her down the sidewalk.

She gave him a playful shove. “You’re such a little kid sometimes-can’t you wait?”

“I’m nothing if not patient,” he pointed out, only half joking. After all, she had no idea how long he’d waited around for her. Was still waiting.

“It’s just something little,” she said hesitantly, pulling a small wrapped box from her coat pocket. “I hope you like it.”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, babe,” he said, slinging an arm around her. “I’ll love it.”

He unwrapped the gift. Inside the box lay a CD case, with a picture of the two of them together taped to the cover.

Total cheese.

“I… I put together some songs I thought you’d like,” she explained. “You know, music that made me think of you.”

“Oh, Beth.” He slipped the CD into his pocket and gave her a kiss. It was so hokey, so painfully sincere, so… Beth. “I love it.” And it wasn’t a total lie. “I can’t wait to get home and listen to it.” Except for that part. Kane shuddered to think what kind of lovey-dovey crap Beth might have burned for him.

“Your present isn’t quite ready yet,” Kane explained, though the truth was, he’d forgotten. It had been a long time since he’d needed to buy someone a Christmas present.

“Kane, you don’t need to get me anything else,” she complained, fondling the blue cashmere tucked around her neck. “This scarf is so beautiful, and so expensive-”

He cut her off with a kiss. “Your gift is coming,” he said firmly, “and you’ll love it.” Whatever it turned out to be. “So, what are you up to for the rest of the day?”

“Kane, it’s Christmas. I’ve got all this family stuff.”

“Of course you do,” he said heartily. “I knew that.” Though, actually, the idea hadn’t occurred to him. Family. Another stupid tradition he’d forgotten. Along with Christmas lights and presents.