Robin Wasserman - Envy

His sleep had been filled with nightmares for weeks. They’d started the night after he slept with Kaia, and ever since Kane and Beth had started spending all that time together, his dreams had only gotten worse. Too much stress, he told himself, lying back down on the mattress. Adam had always liked to keep things simple. But now? Nothing was simple, not anymore. Certainly not his relationship with Beth. That was a minefield. When he was with her, he struggled over his every word, agonized over every action, searching fruitlessly for the magic combination that would put right whatever had gone wrong.

Nothing worked. And lately it seemed like everything that came out of his mouth just made things worse.

Kane, on the other hand, always knew the right thing to say. Adam could see it in Beth’s eyes-“Why can’t you be more like him?” She would never say it out loud, but he knew her well enough to read her thoughts, to know her desires. Kane was flashy, charismatic, Kane saw what he wanted and took it-and girls loved that. Adam had always thought Beth was different. But now… he wasn’t so sure.

Just once , he thought in frustration, just once, I’d like to know what it’s like . To win, every time, without trying. To effortlessly be the best, and have the world at your fingertips. Everything Adam had, he had only because Kane hadn’t thought it worth the trouble. Kane got good grades without studying, beat Adam on the courts without breaking a sweat, could get any girl he wanted just by curling up a corner of his lip in that famous Kane smirk. Adam worked so hard, at everything-and yet time and time again, it seemed he was always coming in second.

But Beth hadn’t been seduced by the flash or the glitter of Kane’s charm-Beth had chosen Adam. She’d been repulsed by Kane, she always told him, and seduced by Adam’s straightforward manner, his honest appeal. It had been the first time he and Kane had ever gone head-to-head over a girl-and the first competition Adam had ever truly won. But it seemed the battle had never really ended. And maybe he hadn’t won after all.

Adam had never wanted to be Kane, had never even much admired Kane. But if only he could just borrow a little of whatever it was that allowed him to lead a charmed life. Adam was sure that Kane would never have gotten sucked in by Kaia’s act, would never have been fooled into believing anything she said. Kane would know exactly the right thing to say to get his girlfriend past the whole virgin issue-and he’d do it so smoothly that she would think it had been her idea. And Kane would never, never let another guy sweep his girlfriend off her feet. Kane didn’t get brushed aside, ignored, overlooked. Ever.

Kane had “it,” whatever it was. And Adam just didn’t. Instead, he had a work ethic, a conscience, and a face that couldn’t lie. And, for now, he had Beth.

But with Kane on the prowl, how long would that last?

How long could it last, this merry sidekick game, before she got fed up? Miranda lay flat on her back in bed, her eyes tracing the tiny cracks in the white ceiling paint. She’d stayed up late, shampooing and shampooing until finally she’d managed to wash most of the green out of her hair. She hoped.

And now she’d been lying in bed for the past hour, trying to work up some kind of excitement about this dunk tank guy, trying to picture his body curled up against her in the bed, his hands crawling across her body… but it wasn’t working. She kept losing her concentration, and his face kept morphing into Kane’s. She didn’t have to work at desiring Kane-it was the easiest thing she’d ever done. Imagining herself in Kane’s arms seemed as natural as breathing. Maybe because she had so much practice.

She knew what Harper had said-and she knew Harper was right-but still, did she have to like it? She didn’t see Harper forcing herself to date a loser, just because her first choice was “temporarily” unavailable.

But of course, that was Harper. Miranda sighed. You’d think she would be used to this by now. She’d been playing second fiddle to Harper since elementary school. “Partners in crime,” that’s what they always called themselves-but when she was alone, Miranda sometimes wondered. It didn’t feel like a partnership. It felt like Harper was out for herself, leaving Miranda to follow behind, cleaning up her messes.

Miranda shook away such disloyal thoughts. Just because Harper could be a little thoughtless, a little self-centered at times, was no reason to question her commitment. Maybe there was only one problem in this friendship: Just maybe, Miranda was jealous. She would never have admitted it out loud, but there were times- lots of times-when she looked at Harper and asked herself, Why not me? They’d started in the same place as wild, spunky outcasts, gone through all the same experiences-and yet Harper had blossomed into this alpha queen, while Miranda, it sometimes seemed, had never blossomed at all.

What did Harper have that she didn’t?

Beauty, she reminded herself.

Charisma.

Sex appeal.

And confidence.

Maybe that’s all it was-Harper knew what she wanted, and she believed she deserved it. So she went out and did whatever it took. Miranda, on the other hand? She knew what she wanted, beat herself up about it, then sat on her hands and did nothing.

And, when it came to Kane, it seemed Harper agreed with her-she wasn’t worthy. Didn’t deserve the guy of her dreams, apparently. She deserved to settle for something attainable, something subpar.

Miranda was no hanger-on, clinging to a friendship with Harper in the hopes that some small crumbs of desirability and popularity would fall to the ground at her feet. But a part of her was always waiting, wondering-when would Harper turn to her and say, “It’s your turn now”? When would she reveal her secret of success and teach Miranda how to be bold, beautiful, and… more like Harper?

After all, everyone knew Harper Grace had it all-so wasn’t there enough to share?

Harper had never been very good at the sharing thing. Maybe it came from being an only child. Or maybe it just came from her utter disdain for almost everyone who crossed her path. Why should she share? Who was more deserving than her of having… well, anything?

Which isn’t to say that there weren’t a few exceptions-obviously there were some people worth her time and goodwill. Well, at least two: Miranda and Adam.

But then, she wasn’t very good at sharing them, either. Which is why she’d hated Beth even before discovering her own feelings for Adam. Harper was supposed to be his top priority, and always had been. But when Beth showed up, everything changed. She’d stomped all over Harper and Adam’s friendship, pulled him away; even if she hadn’t been in love, Harper doubted she would have been able to stand it for very long.

She wouldn’t have to wait much longer, Harper comforted herself. The next day, she was planning to put Kaia’s plan into action. There was just one thing: What if it didn’t work?

Harper rolled over in bed, kicking at her blankets in frustration. She hated thinking of Beth, wanting what Beth had- Beth , of all people. So boring, so dull-she was nothing, compared to Harper. And yet she had the one thing that Harper wanted the most.

And it wasn’t just Beth. Kaia’d had him too.

It was infuriating, the way Harper couldn’t stop watching her enemies-even her friends-and wishing she had what they had. She would never want Beth’s life, Beth’s bland and muddled personality. So why did she spend so much time wishing she could take Beth’s place?

It was the same with Kaia, spoiled, self-centered, bitchy, rich Kaia. She had no friends, no life-but she had so much else. Harper looked around at her room with complete disgust. The shoddy pieces of furniture, shadowy silhouettes in the moonlight, were supposedly antiques, but to her they just seemed old and out of style. Her closet was bursting with imitation designer gear, discount shoes-and even those, her parents always claimed, were practically more than they could afford. Whereas Kaia was probably spread out on designer sheets beneath a mahogany four-poster bed, tucked away in a cozy corner of her giant estate. Kaia didn’t have to buy Frada (imitation Prada), and she didn’t have to worry that someone from school would spot her helping out at the family dry cleaning store on weekends.