Trent Reedy - Stealing Air

“Yeah, I figured,” Brian said.

“My older cousin in Lone Tree goes on dates with girls all the time and he just calls it ‘watching movies.’ You know what I mean?” Alex laughed.

Brian had no clue. “Yeah.” He forced a little chuckle.

“Like he’ll go down to the family room in the basement with a girl and they’ll just say they’re going to watch movies, but they don’t do much watching.”

What was Alex talking about? “So this thing tonight—”

“This is basically a date. You better not mess it up.” Alex paused for a moment. “Oh! Do you have any cologne?”

“No,” Brian said.

“Dude. Seriously.”

“I mean, yeah, I have some. Or I used to have some.” He’d never had any cologne. Why would he possibly want cologne? “A big bottle. But I think I might have used it all up back in Seattle.”

“Oh, man. I bet Seattle girls rock.”

“Yeah.” Brian paced to the other end of his bedroom. “Plus, you know, it’s a big city, so… there’s lots of them.”

“Okay, you need to hurry up and get ready for this. Take a shower. Brush your teeth. Use some mouthwash too. Then see if your dad has some cologne.”

“This sounds really complicated,” Brian said.

“Dude, I know! When you go on a date with a girl, it is complicated, believe me. You have to buy her something. Ice cream, or maybe some flowers.”

“Really?”

“You didn’t know that?” Alex said. “Seattle girls must be a lot different. You don’t have much time, so listen. Have you heard of the yawn maneuver?”

“The what?”

Alex sighed. “Seriously. Okay, all you have to do to get things started is when you’re sitting by her, you yawn and stretch your arms straight up. Then when you’re done, instead of putting your arms back like normal, you slip your arm over her shoulder. She won’t even realize your arm is around her. From there you can move on to other things.”

What other things? They were just supposed to be meeting to skateboard.

“And watch for her signals.”

“Signals?” Brian asked.

“Girls put out certain signals. Like, if she keeps looking down or away, that’s because she’s nervous about what she wore. She’s wondering if she looks fat or whatever. If she does this, you have to compliment her. Tell her she smells good or something. If she’s quiet for a real long time, like for almost a minute, if she kind of looks at you during that time, that means she wants you to kiss her. Then you know what to do.”

“Yeah, I know,” Brian said. He didn’t know anything. Why couldn’t two people just skate? Why did this have to be so complicated?

“Good luck,” said Alex. “I expect a full report. I’m off to the Eagle’s Nest.”

They hung up. Brian showered, washing his hair twice with both shampoo and that conditioner stuff that was exactly like shampoo. When he was dressed in jeans and his white shirt with buttons and the annoying collar, he went back to the bathroom.

After brushing his teeth, he looked in the cabinet until he found the mouthwash that his father used. In the commercials, a guy always swished this stuff around in his mouth, and then some beautiful girl would put her arms around his shoulders and smile because his breath was so fresh. Brian poured some into the cap and then tipped it back.

It burned! His eyes watered while his mouth was on fire. Brian spat the mouthwash into the sink, turned on the water, and put his mouth under the faucet. He spat again. How could the guys on TV look so happy while they used this crap? He had to rinse and spit again and again to get the sick chemical taste out of his mouth. It was a battle to keep from throwing up.

When the mouthwash ordeal was finally over, Brian searched the bathroom cupboards for cologne. He thought he remembered Dad having some, but he hadn’t ever paid too close attention to his father’s bathroom stuff. Finally, he found it on the top shelf of a side cupboard, a small green bottle with a gold-colored cap and Old World Fire written in fancy gold letters on the front.

Brian took the cap off the bottle and sniffed the cologne. It was strong stuff. He’d just pour some on his hand and then put it on his neck. When he tipped the bottle, though, a lot of it poured out way too fast. He didn’t need anywhere near that much. Dumping most of it out into the sink, he dabbed a little on his neck.

He sneezed. The smell was powerful. He put the cap back on the bottle and put the cologne away. That didn’t make a difference. The smell was still everywhere .

Even with the bathroom fan on and the door open, the fragrance nearly made his eyes water. He scrubbed his hands with a ton of soap and the water as hot as he could stand it, but the cologne only backed off a little bit. He washed his hands again and then a third time.

Finally, Brian gave up. If he didn’t get down to the skate park soon, he’d be late, and then all of this preparation would be for nothing. He looked himself over in the mirror one last time, then took a deep breath and spoke to his reflection. “Ready as you’ll ever be.”

When he rolled into the skate park, Wendy was perched with her board on the lip at the top of the half-pipe. She didn’t seem to hear him coming, and Brian didn’t call out to her. Her purple helmet caught a glint of sunlight as she looked at the ramp in front of her.

Then she put her foot on the raised front end of her board and rolled, skating smoothly all the way to the other lip where, after a kickturn, she rolled back down. The next part of the run was a little wobbly, and Wendy stomped the tail to bring her front trucks up, scraping to a stop on the flat. She took her helmet off and brushed her fingers through her long dark hair.

Wendy Heller was the most perfect girl in the universe, Brian thought. And now he might be on a date with her.

“Nice trick,” he said. Wendy jumped, dropping her helmet. It hit the metal ramp with a clang. He held his hands up. “Sorry.”

Wendy shook her head. “I can’t get it right. I could go back and forth probably all day if I rode back fakie, but I’m never going to get air in reverse.”

“Your kickturn was good,” he said. “But you’re leaning the wrong way coming back down the ramp. You were sort of off to the side, and you need to get repositioned to lean into the roll on the way down.”

Wendy folded her arms. “Can you show me?”

“I’ll give it a try.” He took Spitfire up on the platform of the half-pipe. “It’s not just in how you move the board. You have to make sure your body is positioned right too.” He launched himself down the ramp and skated back and forth from one platform to the other, building speed. Finally, when he rolled up on the other side and shot into the air, he reached back to grab Spitfire and yanked the board around in a good spin — too long maybe? He bent his knees to bring the board tighter to him.

He made the 360! The wheels slapped the ramp just in time to roll back down to the flat bottom. He jumped off and ran to a stop, spreading his arms wide in triumph. He’d totally just nailed the Ultimate Trick!

“Have you done that before?” Wendy clapped. “That was amazing.”

“Yeah, I’ve…” His heart was pounding through his whole body. He took a deep breath to steady himself. “Done it all the time.”

“You liar!” She laughed. “That was totally your first time. You’re lucky you didn’t fall on your butt.”

“Okay,” Brian said. “I’ve been trying to carve that trick for years. This was the first time I did it.”