Mackenzie Ford - The Clouds Beneath the Sun

Natalie nodded.

“My mother, she says jealousy is like termites in timber, they weaken even the strongest wood.”

“Your mother is very wise, Mgina.”

“Natalie?” The voice broke in unannounced.

It was Russell.

“Just a minute.” She had guessed he would come.

Natalie stood up and crossed to her dressing table. She picked up the tortoiseshell comb Mgina had always admired. “It’s for you,” she said softly, turning to the other woman. “Congratulations.”

Another big grin from Mgina, as she took the comb. She nodded to Russell and then hurried off, carrying her bundle into the gloom.

Natalie turned back to Russell and held up the whiskey flask. “Last night Eleanor noticed whiskey on my breath. I promised to surrender this today but so much has happened, I forgot and so did she. This is our last chance.”

“You see! She’s worse than the Gestapo.” He raised his arm in a mock Nazi salute.

“Stop it, Russell, stop it! Your life is in danger. Forcing you to leave may hurt, but it’s for the best.”

“For the best?” He was dressed in jeans and a khaki shirt. He took one step back, half turned, and pointed in the direction of the gorge. “I’m part of a group that makes the most important fossil discovery in years, one of maybe the five most important paleontological discoveries of all time, she wants to throw me off the team, and you say my expulsion is for the best!” He took a deep breath. “Now Richard is dead, I’m the one who’s going to have to write the all-important paper—Daniel hates that sort of stuff—and I’m the one who should be taking these bones to our colleagues and potential critics, so they can see for themselves.”

His fists had clenched and his vivid blue eyes flashed in the light of the hurricane lamp. “I’ll never get another chance like this. There will be other bones near where we found the knee joint, even a skull maybe. You must see that, even if Dr. Himmler won’t.”

“That’s unworthy, Russell. Ignore what she says. If the Commissioner of Police in Nairobi thinks your life’s at risk, it’s no joke.”

Across the gorge, trees cracked and crunched as some elephants went through.

“What if I changed my mind—and stayed?”

“You gave your word.”

“Stuff that! The fossils are here. You are here. Maybe you don’t feel about me the way I feel about you, but give it time, give me time. I know we Australians can be direct, awkward even. But you’ve only seen me in the gorge. Come to California where everyone is more relaxed, softer, gentler.” He shook his head. “If I refuse to go tomorrow, there’ll be another scrap, but maybe after it’s over she’ll change her mind.” He clenched and unclenched his fists, took another deep breath. “I haven’t put up enough of a fight.”

“You know Eleanor much better than I do.” Natalie bent down and fiddled with the hurricane lamp, to make the flame bigger. “But I know one thing: she won’t change her mind.”

He leaned forward and nodded. “I’m going to miss you.”

She shook her head. “I told you—the whiskey parties are over.”

She handed him the cup and he took it, smiling. “I’ll never be able to drink whiskey again without thinking of you. Have you got a photo I can take with me?”

Oh dear. It wasn’t in her nature to be cold but she couldn’t let Russell leave thinking … thinking there was more between them than there was.

“One good thing comes out of this.”

“Oh yes? What might that be?”

“You’re free now to find some modern bones, that either match or don’t match the ones you found in the gorge. Your paper will be published more quickly than it otherwise would have done.”

He nodded. “I guess. But what if you, or Jonas, or Eleanor, God forbid, discovers a skull? Our findings will be overshadowed—”

“But that’s a big ‘if.’ You know that. Don’t be so … so confrontational all the time. You’ve made a great discovery—enjoy it. Well, maybe it’s hard to enjoy it, given what’s happened to Richard, but savor it, if you can.” After a moment, she added, “I’ll savor everyone in Cambridge knowing I’m a colleague of yours.” That put a distance between them, the use of such a neutral word as “colleague.”

“I had hoped we’d be more than colleagues, Natalie.”

She sipped some whiskey and handed the cup back to him. She let the silence lengthen.

She let the silence speak.

It was kinder that way.

Smoke from the campfire wafted over them.

“Have you had a chance to think what you are going to do—immediately, I mean?”

He shrugged. His fists were still clenched. His breath still came in short bursts, his chest rising and falling, rising and falling. “Get to New York as soon as possible. See Richard’s parents. Then back to Berkeley, find those modern bones you’ve been banging on about—” He didn’t smile. “Then, all being well, send a paper in to Nature . The paper is already half written, as I showed you a few nights ago.” He chewed a knuckle. “Then we’ll have to see. I’m the wronged party here, Natalie—I know you don’t see it quite like I do, but that’s how it seems from where I sit. So I’ll take advice from colleagues, discuss it with Richard’s father, talk to my lawyer—”

“Lawyer!”

“Sure. Why not? I may be leaving in the morning, Natalie, but that doesn’t mean I’m rolling over.” He ran a finger down the crease on his cheek. “I have some claim here. There are a lot more discoveries to be made in Kihara and I’ll be back, someday—you can bet on it.” He leaned forward. The stubble on his chin was beginning to show itself again. “I don’t want this business to come between us, Natalie. I can’t help the way I feel about you, and I won’t hide it—it’s not in my nature. If you don’t—or can’t—reciprocate … it’s a pity but maybe you’ll change. Anyway, so far as you are concerned, I’ll be as civil as I can while I’m here, but I won’t hide from you the fact that I intend to raise the most almighty stink when I get back to the States. Everyone’s going to hear about this and Eleanor Deacon’s name will be trawled through the mud.” He gave a curt nod. “You can count on it.”

Natalie rubbed her eyes. The wood smoke from the fire was beginning to make them sore. “And will we all be dragged through the mud with her? Is that dignified, Russell?”

He handed back the whiskey. “Of course I won’t drag you through it. You’re not part of it, so you can trust me on that score. As for dignity—well, fuck dignity. I’m being kicked out tomorrow, my goddamn tail between my legs. Retired, hurt.” He brandished a clenched fist. “Well, I can hurt back.”

Natalie took the cup but shook her head. “My first dig as a fully qualified scientist, and it will become famous for all the wrong reasons—murder, bad blood, recriminations, a slanging match. The discoveries, the achievements, will be overshadowed. Whatever you say or don’t say, Russell, I’ll be tainted. Always.”

He lowered his voice. “You’re asking me to do nothing?” He shook his head. “This has gone too far.” Now he nodded. “But I’ll keep you out of this, you’ll see. My quarrel is with Eleanor, not you—”

“And I’m telling you that you’re being naive!” Natalie was nearly shouting. “You’re so upset, your pride has been burst, you haven’t thought it through. The world isn’t interested in niceties, in details like that.” She left her chair and tied up her tent, to stop insects getting in. “If you go ahead and do what you say you’re going to do, we can all wave goodbye to any academic ambitions we ever had. You’ll turn this into a soap opera!”