Даниэла Стил: The Affair

It broke Rose’s heart to think of it, and how Nadia must feel. It was a sure way to destroy the marriage that had been so happy and satisfying for both of them for eleven years. She had no idea what had gotten into him. At forty-two, he was old enough to know better, and too young for a midlife crisis, in Rose’s opinion. And Nadia wasn’t one to complain if she had a problem.

Rose dialed Nadia in Paris, after she and Venetia hung up. She wasn’t sure how to broach the subject. Nadia was so private that Rose wasn’t sure she would open up to her. After asking about the children, and Nadia telling her about a new client in the South of France, Rose decided to take the plunge.

“I heard something that worried me today,” Rose began gently, and there was silence at the other end. Nadia was smaller than Venetia and her mother and had dark hair. Athena and Olivia were blond, as Rose had been. Nadia and Olivia were much shorter than their sisters and mother. Nadia was a beautiful girl, the only dark-haired beauty in the family. Despite her dark hair, she had her mother’s blue eyes and creamy white skin. Her sisters used to say she looked like Snow White.

Nadia sounded hesitant and subdued, and finally let out a sigh that sounded like air being let out of a balloon in a slow leak. Rose could almost feel her daughter’s shoulders drooping as she did. “I know what you heard, Mom. It’s about Nicolas. It’s in all the tabloids here. He made an ass of himself at the Cannes Film Festival, and the press is having a field day with it. I didn’t have the heart to call you.” She hadn’t called her sisters either. She was too upset.

“Was he drunk?” Rose couldn’t imagine what had gotten into him.

“Maybe. I don’t know. I wasn’t there. I was working in Madrid. He says he got involved with her when he was making the film. She’s a beautiful girl,” Nadia said sadly. “I’ve been busy and he got carried away.”

“You’re a beautiful girl too,” her mother reminded her, furious with her son-in-law. “Did you know, or suspect something?”

“No, I never thought he’d do that. I trusted him completely. It all came out after Cannes, when I saw it in the papers. I feel like an idiot. Maybe it’s partially my fault. I’ve been working a lot, and very hard.”

“Was it some kind of one-night slip?” Rose asked her. Not that she found that acceptable either. She had never cheated on her husband, nor he on her, to the best of her knowledge, in forty years of marriage, in spite of her career. One-night stands were not acceptable to her, but they were better than a serious affair.

“No. He says he’s in love with her, or infatuated, or something. At the same time, he says it’s not serious. He’s confused. He promises he’ll get out of it, and he says he loves me and the girls and doesn’t want to leave me. He expects me to sit and wait.” As an only child, Rose knew he had been indulged and spoiled in his youth. This was more of the same to an extreme degree, at her daughter’s expense.

Rose was deeply unhappy at what she heard from Nadia. “Has he done this before?” She was trying not to sound unduly shocked, or too judgmental, so she could be helpful to her daughter. Righteous indignation wouldn’t get them anywhere, although Rose was livid with him for hurting and betraying her daughter.

“Once,” Nadia said honestly. “When I was pregnant with Laure. I don’t know what happened, some kind of panic and insecurity about his book not doing well and the responsibility of two children. He went crazy for about a month, and then he got out of it. It was with his editor at the time. He changed editors after that. That was eight years ago, and everything’s been fine since then. I never told you because it was over in a matter of weeks and it was some kind of aberration. It never happened again. He promised he’d never cheat again, and he hasn’t. Until now. This time, I guess the temptation of working with Pascale Solon was too much for him. I think it went on during the whole filming of the movie. And of course everyone knew but me. Then somehow he lost control at the Festival. Now the whole world knows. She’s a big star so it’s hard to keep it quiet. How did you find out?” She sounded tired and sad as she talked to her mother. It made Rose’s heart ache for her.

“One of our stylists proposed her for a cover and mentioned the story.”

“Does she know I’m married to him?”

“No, she doesn’t. I didn’t say anything. I just came out of the meeting and called you.”

“Do my sisters know?” she asked miserably. The whole situation was not only painful and breaking her heart, but with everything on the internet, it was deeply humiliating.

“I called Venetia before I called you. I was afraid to upset you. I know you don’t like to talk about things if you’re upset and I didn’t want to intrude on you.”

“It’s okay, Mom. The stupid thing is I love him. He’s a good husband and a wonderful father and we love each other. At least I think he loves me too. He says so. He’s upside down at the moment. It’s like he forgot he was married, and now he’s up to his ears in the affair and the press is all over him because they’re both so well known. I know it’s wrong, but people do that here. They have mistresses and affairs, and women do it too. Usually, they’re disenchanted with their marriages. He says he isn’t. He just couldn’t resist her. Nicolas is very clear that he doesn’t want to leave me for her.”

“Do you want to leave him?” Rose asked. She wondered if she should. She didn’t like the situation, and “confused” was a poor excuse for prolonging the affair. He was indulging himself and hurting Nadia while he did.

“I don’t know,” she said cautiously. “I don’t want to lose him or give up on our marriage, but I’m not going to hang around while he has an affair with someone else. I’m not so much shocked as hurt. I was furious at first. Now I’m just sad about it. Some of my friends here have been in this situation. Most of the time, they don’t get divorced. Some of my women friends have had affairs too. They say it keeps their marriage ‘fresh.’ Anyway, that doesn’t apply here.” There was nothing fresh about the situation. Nadia sounded wilted and depressed, understandably.

“Do your daughters know?” Rose asked her.

“Not yet. But someone will tell Sylvie at school sooner or later. I’m sure their parents all know. Nicolas is famous in France. And it’s all over the internet.”

“Which means he needs to be that much more circumspect. He can’t go around having affairs with starlets and expect you to live with that and stick around,” Rose said angrily.

“He feels terrible about it,” Nadia said protectively. She almost felt sorry for him, except that she was so miserable herself. She wanted to hate him for it but she didn’t. She just wanted the affair to be over and to have their happy life back. She didn’t see now how that could happen. And he hadn’t given up Pascale, despite their tearful discussions about it.

“Is he going to get out of it?” Rose asked, angrier by the minute. Nadia didn’t deserve this. She was such a loving wife to him, and he had been loving to her too. What was he thinking?

“He says he will get out of it, but he wants to do it carefully, so he doesn’t make an even bigger fuss in the press about a breakup.” It sounded like an excuse to Rose, but she didn’t say it to her daughter, to avoid upsetting her more.

“Do you want to come home with Sylvie and Laure for a while?” Rose suggested. Getting away sounded like a good idea to her. But “home” was no longer home to Nadia. Paris was.

“No. There would be even more talk then. The press would say we’re getting divorced. This is bad enough. I’m just trying to keep below the radar and avoid the photographers when I go out. I’ve told the girls it’s because their father’s movie is such a big hit.”