Keith Waterhouse - Office Life

'May I say this,' began Gryce. He had heard politicians use that preamble to effect. 'It has been a long day for me. I was very much persuaded by your arguments earlier, but when I listened to Lucas of Personnel on the subject of British Albion I was swayed by him also. Perhaps I am easily influenced, but now that I am back here, I feel on balance that there is a better future on this side of the river than on the other one, all other things being equal.'

Although he'd been listened to courteously, apart from a sigh from Vaart that was patently meant to be taken as a silent groan, Gryce wished he'd made less heavy weather of it and that he hadn't said 'all other things being equal' which sounded too cautious by half. He decided to finish on an up-beat note, he'd give them a joke, an in-joke as he hoped it would be to most of those present, he did hope they would get it.

'Does that answer your question?'

But he had muffed it. Gryce had paused too long and his joke was drowned by the roar of the Wharfedale press as Vaart pressed the shining brass button.

Keith Waterhouse, born in 1929, is a man of many literary parts. Besides having published nine novels, the most recent of which was Thinks (1984), he writes a twice-weekly column for the Daily Mirror, is a regular contributor to Punch, and has produced a wide range of work for television, cinema and the theatre.

There Is a Happy Land

Billy Liar

Jubb

The Bucket Shop

The Passing of the Third-Floor Buck

Billy Liar on the Moon

Mondays, Thursdays

Rhubarb, Rhubarb

Maggie Muggins

In the Mood

Funny Peculiar

Mrs Pooter's Diary

Thinks