Sharon Shinn - Reader And Raelynx

“That matters less to me than the number of additional men he may offer to our enemies,” Romar said. “For now, if the shape-shifters have estimated correctly, there will be nearly ten thousand soldiers arrayed against us. Assuming Brassenthwaite and Kianlever send the men they’ve promised, we will muster only about seven thousand.”

“Then we should pick our ground, for whatever advantage that affords us,” Tayse said.

“You do not think we are wiser to stay in Ghosenhall, where we can withstand a siege?” Romar asked.

“I think in Ghosenhall we have enemies on multiple sides,” Tayse said, standing up and moving toward the map. “Tilt to the north of us, Storian to the southwest, and armies from the south. If we move here”-he indicated a spot in the middle of unaligned territory between Brassenthwaite, Merrenstow, and Kianlever-“it will be harder for enemies to surround us. And if Amalie needs to flee, she will have two escape routes to the oceans, and one over the mountains.”

“The mountains!” Romar repeated. “You’d send her to the Lirrenlands?”

“With her Lirren stepmother. I would.” He glanced briefly at Amalie, and Cammon could just barely see his smile. “I would send her now, before battle is joined, except that I do not think she would go.”

“No, I most certainly would not!” Amalie declared. “If you are fighting for me, I will stand beside you.”

Romar gave her a serious look. “But Tayse is right. The entire war is pointless unless we are able to secure your safety. If it becomes clear that we are overmatched and we fear for your life-will you promise then to seek refuge? In the Lirrens with Valri, or wherever else we determine is your best hope for safe haven?”

She didn’t even hesitate. “I will.”

“Then perhaps Tayse is right, and we should engage these rebel armies on ground of our choosing. Leave Ghosenhall behind.”

“The city’s already half empty,” Kirra said. “Ever since the attack, people have been abandoning their shops and houses.”

“I would wish the whole city deserted before the armies arrive,” Amalie said. “Send criers out-let them know war is upon us.”

Romar nodded. Cammon knew that the regent had already sent his own wife back to Merrenstow, though she might find only a relative safety even there. “We have done so,” Romar said. “But some people won’t leave. They’re more afraid of looters left behind than soldiers marching through.”

“Their choice,” Amalie said. “But they need to know how quickly danger comes.”

The debate went on but Cammon did not follow it closely. He was not a strategist; he was not particularly good at considering the future and how he might improve its bleak picture. What he knew was that the people in this room, and a few of them outside it, the ones he cared about most in the world, were about to fling themselves headlong into danger. And he had enough experience with calamity to know that devastation could blight the most ordinary day. He could not imagine how it might come calling when times were so desperate.

AMALIEhad been thinking somewhat along the same lines, as became clear that night when they finally made their way to her bedroom. The raelynx preceded them down the hallway, sniffing at promising corners and pausing every once in a while to look over its shoulder and make sure they were still following. Nonetheless, it seemed to lose all interest in them as soon as they pushed through Amalie’s door. It headed to its favorite spot beside the freshly built fire and curled up to sleep.

Amalie went to stand at the window and look out over the sloping lawns. The moon was small and high; the grass mustered a subdued sparkle under its light. At this time of night, it was impossible to tell how green the lawns had become in just a few days. They had pulled away bodies and found new grass underneath.

“When armies ride to war, death rides with them,” she said. “I love so few people in this world, and any of them could lose their lives in this endeavor.”

Cammon settled in one of the extremely comfortable chairs and watched the back of her head. “I had the identical thought.”

“I wonder if it might be better to abandon Ghosenhall, indeed, but not so we could make a stand in another place. Cede the palace, cede the crown, spare all these lives.”

He was silent a moment. “There is probably not a single one of your friends who would agree that is a good idea.”

“Even you?”

“I’m hardly qualified to advise.”

“But you can tell me your opinion.”

“My opinion is that war will follow you wherever you go. If you hide in the Lirrens, Halchon Gisseltess will track you down there. If you are alive, you are a threat to him. He would prefer to see you dead or in his power.”

She reflected a moment. “And if I were dead?”

“Amalie!”

“I’m just asking. I’m not planning to kill myself.”

“If you were dead and he could take the throne-yes, I suppose it would avert a great deal of bloodshed. Every mystic in the country would be put to death, though. And I suspect the rebels would still war against Merrenstow and Rappengrass and the Houses that have shown loyalty to the throne. And I have to believe that Halchon Gisseltess would make a bad king-unjust and violent. His sons would rule after him and be equally brutal. Is that the legacy you would leave for Gillengaria?”

She sighed. “It is just that I do not want anyone to die.”

“I know,” he said. “I don’t know how to keep them all safe. I don’t even know how to keep safe the ones I care about the most.”

She stared out the window during another short silence. “Valri is grieving over my father’s death,” she said presently.

“I know,” he said again.

“She thinks he didn’t know that she loved him. She thinks if she had told him so, she would not be so distraught now.”

“I always thought your father knew everything,” Cammon said with a touch of humor. “I’d be surprised if he hadn’t realized it.”

“Still, you should tell people the important things, while you can,” she said, turning away from the window and coming straight for him across the room. Before he could stir from the chair, she dropped to her knees, clasped his hand, and cradled it against her cheek. “I love you,” she whispered. “I have let you think that I am merely playing at love when I am with you, learning things I need to know, but that’s all been pretense. I truly do love you. I don’t know how I’m going to give you up when the time comes that I am supposed to do so.”

His heart, at the same time, compressed with grief and expanded with joy. “Amalie,” he said urgently, trying to pull her off her knees, into his lap, but she would not budge. So he slipped from the chair and joined her on the floor, drawing her into his arms. “Amalie, you won’t have to give me up. We’ll think of something. I’ll stay on as a footman or a groom-I’ll work in the wine cellars or the gardens. Maybe I’ll have Kirra do some magic, change my face. No one but you will even know that I’m still here.” She laughed against his chest, as if he had been joking, and he added, “I’m serious. ”

“I don’t think that will be good enough for me,” she said unsteadily.

He stroked her hair. “I haven’t been able to bear to think about it,” he said. “I sat there all those days when the serramar of Gillengaria came courting you! Knowing that one of them would marry you, and how would I be able to stand it? I was already wondering where I should go once you were married. Except where would I go? Justin and Tayse and Senneth are here, and no one ever knows where Kirra and Donnal will be, and I have no one else. But I have been afraid to let myself love you too much, because I don’t know how to walk away from love. I don’t know how to let it go. But what do I do with that love if I don’t have you in my life?”