Бетти Смит - Maggie-Now

put nets shelf paper. ." I\Iary heard nothing ol what she said.

"The baby," whispered,NlarN. She tried to pull the blanket away from his face and couldn't. I\~IagDie-NoNv pulled it hack.

"Oh, isn't he tiny," exclaimed the girl. "Isn't he cute!"

'Take him up," whispered.\larv.

"What? "

[~401 "Pick him up."

Maggie-Now put the baby in the crook of her left arm.

Instinctively, she held him correctly. His head, not much bigger than an orange, rested against her breast and went up and down a little with the beating of her heart. She put her outspread right hand under his little backside.

"Why he Its, Mama," said l~laggie-Now in surprise. "He fits to me just right!"

"l\Iarparet: Rose!" Mary tried to smile. "You're such a good girl, Maggie-Now," she whispered. Then she was quiet for so long that Maggie-Now thought she was sleeping. Maggie-Now started to croon to the badly. Mary opened her eyes then.

"I.isten," she whispered. "Do what I say. His bottle. .

the doctor will tell you. Wash eyes, boric acid. Warm sweet oil on head till soft: place closes. I(eep band on till cord drops off. Boil diapers so no rash. . Thillgs you don't know, ask. . ask Lottie or neighbor with children.

Ask. ."

Maggie-Now started to cry. Mary drew on some last strength. Her voice was almost normal. "Don't cry," she said. "I might have to stay here a few weeks. Then I'll be home. Until then. ."

The lie was the last sin of her life.

A nurse appeared with Patrick Dennis. "Only one visitor at a time," she said cheerfully, "await for me downstairs, would you' Ma;.gie-Now," said list. "I don't want to go home alone."

The girl ptlt the baby back in her mother's arms. She kissed her mother and went downstairs to wait for her father.

Pat looked strange. He'd had his hair cut, his suit pressed, his shoes shined and he smelled of bay rum. He too had been told to act natural. Pie tried to act natural and succeeded in acting like a stranger. He sat next to her bed.

Dear God, he prayed, ~ ire me another chance. Don't let her die. I'll do letter. I'll he good to her.] swear it!

Her lips moved. She was trying to say "Patrick."

'Well, Mary," he said heartily. "I see we got a boy. Now I'll leave somebody to go hunting and fishing with." (He'd never fished or hunted in his life but he thought men were supposed to say that when they had a new son.)

~ 74/ 1 She her face to him. He looked away because the deep caverns ha her cheeks and the black 110ll0NVS under her eves frightened him. He talked: "Me vacation's coming up all-out the time IN OU get Otlt of here. And I tell you what! We never went nowheres before on me vacation but this time v, e'll go to the country. You Icnow. The Catskills? Good count y air sure and 'twill put you on your feet again. And then1

fresh eggs off the chickens every day and them vegetables

. ."

She looked at him with a fixed stare and her eyes flooded with rears which ran down either side of her face.

He put his hand on hers but withdrew it N\ itilout rile jilill~' to when he felt hoNv hot and dry her hand was.

"Oh, Patrick," she NS hispc] ('3 ht~arst'l!r. "In all Muir N ears N t,U never told me. ."

"No, I never told yo i, i\lary. But I do."

No, he had never told her that he loved her and now he knew he did love her. l to felt he should say the word

"love" now. It was a simple word, easily sail, but he couldn't say it. In some obscure vay, he felt it would make him a stranger to her.

"But I djo' friary, and you know it. I don't have to say it. Ale arid you. . we yeas no ver ones to sat,- things like that to each other because we never started out that Nvay. But I do. I do."

"It's too late," she Nv,lispered, weeping.

"That's no way to t.t'k," he said witl1 false heartiness.

"Wl1N-, you'll burls us all."

It wasn't- the right thinly to salt but that's the wav he was used to talking, If I talk difli.~7e!t, he tilOUgllt, si.7e'11 knob. that I kno-.: she's going to die.

Mother Ursula, the hi ad of all nurses, lay nurses and nursing, sisters, came in. She put her h: lnil on Pat's shoulder and pressed it. I-le stood up.

"Was the child christe led'" he aslcecl.

"This rnorningr," said I\~lother Urs771a. "Right after he Nom. horn. He Noms named Dennis Patricl;."

"My Nvife?" he asked.

'Father Flyrln will stay witl1 her."

lest undc~rstood. He ~ ot his hat from under the chair and leaned over Mary. ~ le pro ssed his cool chee];

to her drN- cheel;.

~ ~ 1 "I love you, Mary," he whispered.

He bumped into the screen as he Event. Mother Ursula straightened it.

A very young nun came in with a basin of water and a towel. She washed,YIary's face and hands and feet.

Another nun brought in a small table covered with a linen napkin and set up two beeswax candles on it. She placed a crucifix between the candles. She arranged a tumbler of water and a saucer of fine salt on the table. She added a cruet of oil and a piece of cotton. Mother Ursula lit the candles.

Father Flynn came inside the screen carrying the Host.

The three nuns genuflected and withdrew. Father Flynn knelt down by the bed with his ear to i\,lary's lips and she made her last confession. He absolved her from her sins and gave her Extreme Unction. When all was over, she made a harsh sound of fear. He understood. He took her hand.

"My child," he said, "my friend. Have no fear. I'll stay with you. I'll stay with you all the time that's left."

But the terror grew in her. She didn't want to die! She didn't want to die! Her hand clutched the sheet and she made little moans. A nurse looked in and flew down to the office to get Doctor Scal.mi. He came.ifter a while with a hypodermic needle poised in his hand.

Father Flynn shook his head. "No," he said.

"Obviously, she's suffering," said the doctor. "This \\7ill help.' "As long as one can suffer, one is living. Let her live and suffer until life is gone."

The doctor could have said what he had said to the nurse: "I am the doctor on the case." But he knew Father Flynn would say: "I am the priest." The priest took precedence at death. To show he was in accord with the priest, the doctor pressed the plunger of his needle and let the liquid squirt out on the floor.

She vitas past talking now and her terror grew. Her face seemed like a grotesque mask with a twisted mouth.

Father Flynn spoke quietly to her but he couldn't get to her. He prayed.

Then the baby cried. Concern mixed with her terror.

The baby was Iying in the crook of her arm and she tried to tighten her arm to bring the baby nearer. Her other hand plucked futilely at the drawstring of her nightdress.

She stared at the priest and her 1 14.,1

face went into distortions as she tried to communicate with him. He guessed what she wanted to say. "You want me to turn my head away?" Her face straightened out and she waited. "I'll help VOU, my child, and I'll keep my eyes shut."

He felt for her arm with his eyes shut, and folded it around the baby. Gently, he pushed the baby toward its mother's breast. He put her other arm across the child, placing the palm of her hand at the back of the baby's head. He pulled the sheet up over her exposed breast.

When he opened his eyes, he saNv that the terror had left her face and her distorted mouth had relaxed. The peace was bcginning to come. He sat down to stay with her to the end as he had assured her. He waited and he prayed while he waited.