Oscar Wilde - An Ideal Husband

mrs. cheveley. What a charming house you have, Lady Chiltern! I have spent a delightful evening. It has been so interesting getting to know your husband.

lady chiltern. Why did you wish to meet my husband, Mrs. Cheveley?

mrs. cheveley. Oh, I will tell you. I wanted to interest him in this Argentine Canal scheme, of which I dare say you have heard. And I found him most susceptible, – susceptible to reason, I mean. A rare thing in a man. I converted him in ten minutes. He is going to make a speech in the House to-morrow night in favour of the idea. We must go to the Ladies’ Gallery and hear him! It will be a great occasion!

lady chiltern. There must be some mistake. That scheme could never have my husband’s support.

mrs. cheveley. Oh, I assure you it’s all settled. I don’t regret my tedious journey from Vienna now. It has been a great success. But, of course, for the next twenty-four hours the whole thing is a dead secret.

lady chiltern. [ Gently .] A secret? Between whom?

mrs. cheveley. [ With a flash of amusement in her eyes .] Between your husband and myself.

sir robert chiltern. [ Entering .] Your carriage is here, Mrs. Cheveley!

mrs. cheveley. Thanks! Good evening, Lady Chiltern! Good-night, Lord Goring! I am at Claridge’s. Don’t you think you might leave a card?

lord goring. If you wish it, Mrs. Cheveley!

mrs. cheveley. Oh, don’t be so solemn about it, or I shall be obliged to leave a card on you. In England I suppose that would hardly be considered en règle. Abroad, we are more civilised. Will you see me down, Sir Robert? Now that we have both the same interests at heart we shall be great friends, I hope!

[ Sails out on sir robert chiltern’s arm . lady chiltern goes to the top of the staircase and looks down at them as they descend . Her expression is troubled . After a little time she is joined by some of the guests , and passes with them into another reception-room .]

mabel chiltern. What a horrid woman!

lord goring. You should go to bed, Miss Mabel.

mabel chiltern. Lord Goring!

lord goring. My father told me to go to bed an hour ago. I don’t see why I shouldn’t give you the same advice. I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

mabel chiltern. Lord Goring, you are always ordering me out of the room. I think it most courageous of you. Especially as I am not going to bed for hours. [ Goes over to the sofa .] You can come and sit down if you like, and talk about anything in the world, except the Royal Academy, Mrs. Cheveley, or novels in Scotch dialect. They are not improving subjects. [ Catches sight of something that is lying on the sofa half hidden by the cushion .] What is this? Some one has dropped a diamond brooch! Quite beautiful, isn’t it? [ Shows it to him .] I wish it was mine, but Gertrude won’t let me wear anything but pearls, and I am thoroughly sick of pearls. They make one look so plain, so good and so intellectual. I wonder whom the brooch belongs to.

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