Vivian Arend - Rocky Mountain Haven

“You planning on doing anything other than moping today, big bro?”

His youngest brother smirked from where he had dropped by Daniel’s feet, joining him on the grass. Joel wore that wide-eyed expression that made the girls flutter around like butterflies.

“Stick it, Joel.”

Another chuckle sounded on his other side and Daniel groaned. Great, his quiet retreat space been invaded by the twins.

“Methinks someone is in love. His sweet princess is not here and he’s got no one to dazzle.” Jesse poked Joel in the ribs, the two of them sprawled lazily on the ground.

Daniel was tempted to smack their two heads together. “Idiots. Don’t you have things you’re supposed to do?”

Joel pointed to the outdoor dance area. “All set to go. Can’t start anything else without the stars, and they’re taking a powder break.”

With a wiggle of his brow, Jesse gave a snort. “Probably trying to figure out a way to work in a quickie before they have to—”

“Do you mind?” Holy shit , but Jesse was annoying at times.

Joel whacked his twin on the arm and rolled him down the hill in the direction of the bar. “I see more customers for you. Quit being a jerk, if you can help it.”

Jesse scrambled to his feet, then brushed himself off. He flipped Joel the bird behind his back as he good-naturedly headed to the bar area. Daniel shook his head and Joel laughed out loud.

“He’s a pain in the ass, ain’t he?”

Daniel raised a brow. “Like you aren’t?”

“I know…two peas in a pod.”

Daniel had to smile. Of all the six brothers, he was probably the closest with Joel, even with the whole twins-living-in-each-other’s-pocket deal.

“You do seem like you’re not all there today, and I don’t think it’s because you’re upset Jaxi’s joining the family.” Joel pulled at the grass like a kid.

“I’m not the one who wanted to get involved with her. How are you doing?” Daniel watched the crowds of community folk that had come out for the wedding wander over the lawn area outside the sprawling main house of Six Pack Ranch.

Joel laughed. “Don’t try to change the topic. We were talking about the fact the lady you’ve been visiting with daily isn’t anywhere to be seen.”

Daniel shrugged. “Couldn’t be helped.”

“You really like her, don’t you?”

Daniel thought about it. First reaction? “Yeah. I do.”

Joel’s quick gaze darted around the crowd celebrating on the lawn. “So we going to see you doing this kind of thing before long?”

Oh hell. “That might be a touch difficult. She doesn’t think of me that way.” The expression of shock on his brother’s face made a laugh burst out.

“Fuck, no—are you sure about that?”

“Fuck, yes.”

Joel shook his head. “But I’ve been hearing all kinds of stories around town about you taking her out all the time and shit like that. What’s going on if it’s not you working your way up to proposing to the woman down the road? You said you’d had enough of the casual route after the whole fiasco with Sierra.”

The reminder of his ex-girlfriend was enough to turn his stomach. “It’s not as easy as all that, Joel. Beth’s a widow—she’s got the kids and—” The way Joel glared at him made him talk twice as fast. “It’s not that I don’t like the kids…”

“Glad you didn’t try to bullshit me on that one. You know you sure as hell can’t make me believe you’re not the least bit excited about not only finding a woman who’s a knockout, but one who’s got kids.”

Daniel ran a hand through his hair. Why did that topic have to come up again? “I don’t want to talk about that right now—”

“You told her yet? I mean, the fact you can’t have kids was Sierra’s reason for calling it off, wasn’t it?”

He flicked at a speck of dirt on his pants. “Shit, Joel. Beth and I have only been seeing each other for a short while. It’s not as if I’m going to up and announce, ‘Hey, by the way, you know you don’t have to worry about me getting you pregnant since I only shoot blanks.’”

Joel grunted, his face screwed up in disgust. “When you put it that way…” He shook his head for a second then checked his watch as he rose to his feet. “Damn, I need to get ready. Jaxi will kick my ass if I haven’t got the dance music lined up.”

“She and Blake do look good together, don’t they?” Daniel stood as well, ready to head over to visit with his mom for a while.

“Yeah. I guess Jaxi did know which of us was best for her in the long run.” Joel punched him in the shoulder then set out whistling down the path. Daniel took a moment to center himself. His family was all around. Matt and Travis had smoke rising from the barbecues. Jesse’s grin flashed as he sweet-talked the girls congregating around the bar area. Daniel stared toward where his mama sat chatting with the bride’s parents.

His big happy family. What he’d always known and enjoyed and secretly hated at the same time. The beauty of the ranch and the never-ending chores. The support of family and the unceasing noise. It was a blessing and a curse.

At what point could what he wanted and loved—family and caring—be separated from what he’d had enough of?

Living on the ranch was wearing him down. Tearing him apart, and he just didn’t know what to do about it. The small town? Not a problem, but he didn’t want to be mucking out stalls and driving tractors for the rest of his life. He didn’t have the grades to go back to school the way twins were doing. So here he was, trapped in a way. Trapped in the middle of love and caring, and he felt like the most ungrateful creature around that he wasn’t as pleased and happy as he should be.

If only he could find a way to work with his hands to make a living, without being held captive by the whim of the weather and the animals. If he knew for sure there was a future for him that involved a family, in spite of the fact he couldn’t have any kids himself.

He wasn’t sure what drew him to Beth, although it wasn’t the fact she had kids. His fascination had begun before he’d made that discovery. The lost expression in her eyes when she didn’t think anyone was looking. The way she squared her shoulders and took a deep breath before barrelling forward in the direction she thought she should go.

He wished he understood better what haunted her, but every time he tried to turn the conversation in that direction, it seemed the topic got changed.

She was running, he was searching.

Maybe part of what they needed was each other.

He headed back down toward the celebrations, wishing Beth were here, the boys racing around in circles with the other children. The wish made his heart ache even more.

Beth sat quietly, staring into her coffee cup.

“You want another piece of pie?”

She lifted her head and made herself laugh. “Holy cow, Mom, you want me to roll home tomorrow?” Her mom smiled and pulled out the chair next to her. Plopping her elbows on the table, she turned and asked the question Beth had been dreading all weekend.

“So, how are you really doing?”

Could she answer without answering? Beth opened her mouth and her mom cut her off.

“Sweetie, don’t try to pull a fast one on me either. I had enough of your lies during the time you were married to Samuel. I’m not going to let you slip one past me again.”

The pain in her mother’s eyes was real. “Mom, none of what happened to me was your fault.”

“Well, it wasn’t yours either, but you still had to go through it. The fact you didn’t tell any of us that Samuel had changed so much over the years—”

“Mom.” Beth rose, ready to escape, but her mom laid a hand on her arm.