Vivian Arend - Rocky Mountain Haven

She should have known better. She should have been stronger and dealt with Samuel long before he began to be such a dangerous influence in his sons’ lives. He’d been so damn demanding and easily irritated. As the years passed, they’d all learned to walk on eggshells around him.

Breaking something had been akin to murder in Samuel’s book.

Lance glanced back from where he stood at the sink, his young face twisted into a grimace as he fought not to cry. When he turned and started washing the dishes, Beth’s soul ached a little more. It was so like him—her firstborn—once again trying to act the grown up. Caring and acting beyond his years.

A sense of frustration swept her. What was she doing? There was so much she needed to deal with, repercussions from ten years of mental abuse. How was she supposed to be able to make things better for her boys when she felt instant fear when the situation deviated even minutely from the “proper way”?

What she wouldn’t give for a cup of coffee and a good long talk with a sympathetic ear to listen. She didn’t want to talk to the school counsellor and bring the whole mess into her new workplace. She didn’t want to return to the stony-faced therapist she’d been seeing in Calgary.

Daniel crossed her mind again and her face warmed. She stood, still cuddling Nathan, and shuffled her way into the living room. Her leg ached, but she wasn’t about to put him down. He needed her. Heck, she needed him. They settled together in the big armchair. The grading could wait. The lesson—she’d put aside her usual method of getting all their work out of the way immediately and instead make time to check it over during the next couple of days.

Tonight her boys needed a reminder that life was not as confining as it used to be.

“Lance, honey, leave the dishes. I need your help here.”

He joined her, sitting next to his little brother on the couch. Robbie clutched his security blanket in his hand, a defiant look in his eyes.

Her husband had hated that blanket.

“I think we’re settled into the school year enough we need to start planning some fun activities to do together. You guys got any ideas? What would you like to do as a family?”

Nathan wiggled a bit, his face brightening. “You mean like going swimming or stuff?”

Beth groaned inside but hid it behind a smile. “Yes. Only I don’t think you should use the swimming hole anymore this year, right? We’ll go to the pool. Anything else?”

Together they made a list of suggestions, and the mood in the house lightened. Beth gave thanks the kids were resilient.

A couple of hours later, after multiple games of Snakes and Ladders, cups of hot chocolate—with marshmallows—and an endless number of slightly tuneless songs bellowed out during bath time, the three boys were finally all tucked into bed. A glance at the clock showed it was only nine p.m., but she could have sworn it was close to midnight. She was ready to crawl into her own bed and take the weight off her aching limb.

She really should get back to her to-do list and not give in to the temptation to soak for an hour then head to bed herself. And yet, why not? Abandoning all plans of productivity, including ignoring the dishes in the sink, didn’t mean she was evil. There were two days stretching ahead on the weekend to get her stuff done.

Mom break, starting now.

She got the tub running before grabbing a glass of wine and her book. Soaking in the hot water made her feel halfway human again. It also gave her plenty of time to daydream about the sensations Daniel ignited in her body. Her book abandoned to the floor, she wondered where the line was between getting what she wanted physically and discovering what Daniel offered in addition to the sex.

Friendship.

She dried off and pulled on her thick pyjamas, all the while debating with herself. Daniel wanted an answer. She stared at the phone. Damn it. Without letting herself think it through anymore, she punched in his number and waited for a response.

She’d had enough years of being careful, and it was time to keep this ball rolling.

“Colemans’,” a deep voice answered, and she hesitated. It kind of sounded like him but…

“Daniel?”

The man at the other end laughed. “You’re close. Only five more guesses.”

She smiled in spite of her nervousness. “Jesse.”

“Now how did you do that?”

It was her turn to laugh. “Of all the boys, I figured you were the only one who’d play games on the phone.”

“Yeah, well, don’t tell my mama. Just a minute, I’ll get him for you.”

The echoing silence gave her time for the image of Jesse and Joel dancing with Darleen to pop back into her brain. What was it that Daniel had said? The boys…shared? The thought intrigued her. Not with them per say, but the whole two guys paying attention to her—about as far from the vanilla missionary sex forced on her over the years as she could imagine.

The temptation to add to her list was strong. Daniel said he didn’t want to see it anymore, so why not? It would be one of those inspirational things—find a few books, read about it and get turned on. Reading about it was enough for now.

Actually, having more than one guy paying attention to her at one time was probably one of the better-imagined-than-done things. Wouldn’t there be too many limbs and body parts touching and connecting? A sudden throb between her legs surprised her. Okay, lots of body parts touching her would be fine.

“Beth?”

How had she ever mistaken Jesse for Daniel? The deep timbre of his voice made her toes curl. It took a few seconds to drag her mind back to the reason why she had called. “Hey, you asked me to phone. I know it’s late, but do you have a few minutes to talk?”

A pause. “Is this going to be a good talk or a bad talk?”

“I’m not calling it off.” There , it had been said. “I need…I need some advice, beyond the…issue we’re going to…”

He laughed. “You can’t even say the word sex when you’re on the phone. Damn, you are one hundred percent charming.”

“And you’re a tease.”

“What kind of advice can I get for you tonight?” There was a creaking sound, and the voices in the background faded away. “I’m out on the porch and no one’s listening. We can chat if you’d like. Or I can come over there.”

Beth glanced at her watch. She was going to be bagged tomorrow. “I’m all ready for bed, and the boys are bound to be up at their usual time. Plus, I slacked off on all my work tonight putting out fires.”

“Troubles?”

She sighed. “Kind of, but it was a good evening in the end. The kids and I made a list of things they want to do. Only some of them…”

He sat silently on the other end of the line, waiting for her to continue. When he chuckled, it was light enough to help calm her. “You’re going to have to help me here with a few more details. I can’t tell if that’s a ‘some of them require snow to fall’, or ‘some of them need you to have twelve hands’ and you’d like my help.”

For not wanting to get involved with him, the temptation to have him around grew by the minute. The boys liked him, by all reports he was a safe man to do things with.

Her body craved him.

She couldn’t decide if that final reason held her in restraint or egged her on. “Daniel, can I back up about twelve paces and ask a real big favour of you?”

“What’s up, darling?”

“They want to go swimming.”

He whistled low. “Water’s going to be fairly brisk this time of—”

“At the pool. But with my bad leg it’s hard for me to play with them. Would you be willing to come with us sometime? I hate to disappoint them, and it might be a good way to, well, you know. Your part of our deal.”