Kay David - The Negotiator

“You’re right,” he said. “But you’re wrong, too. The ones left behind do have to pick up the pieces, but I always think about them. Believe me, Miss Barclay, they’re the reason I do what I do. Seeing someone killed in a situation like this is the last thing I want.”

He was telling the truth; she could see it in those strange, clear eyes.

“Then what happened in there tonight?” Her voice cracked. “Why was Howard shot?”

“He raised the gun and we thought he was going to shoot the boy,” he said raggedly. “Having a sniper in place is standard operating procedure and when he perceived imminent danger to the child, he took the shot.”

Something in his voice alerted her. She jerked her head up and stared into the blue ice of his gaze, her stomach churning with the gut feeling that came from hearing the truth mixed with a lie. She wasn’t getting the whole story.

She shook her head slowly and stared at him. “I don’t believe you. I want the truth. Something went wrong, didn’t it? You didn’t want him killed, did you?”

“Let me take you home,” he said gently. “I can call a uniform and catch a ride back up here to get my car. You’re in no shape to drive to Fort Walton.”

“I’m a teacher, Officer Winters. Diversions don’t work with me.”

“I’m not trying to divert you. I’m trying to help you. You’re wrung out, and you need to get home and take care of yourself.”

“So I won’t bother you anymore with my questions?”

“No.” He paused and took a breath. Was he stalling as he searched for a more satisfying explanation or simply exhausted as she was? “So you won’t torture yourself with what-ifs,” he said finally. “You did everything you could back there and we did, too. It was a bad end, yes, but it wasn’t our fault…or yours.”

“He didn’t need to be killed,” she said stubbornly.

He shocked her by his answer. “Maybe, but we’ll never know for sure. Only one thing’s certain. We can’t go back and play it a different way. We have to take what happened and deal with it.”

“Then just tell me the truth. Tell me what really happened—what I did—then let me deal with that.”

From beneath his matted hair, he stared at her, his eyes almost glowing. For a second she caught a fleeting glimpse of something in their cold depths, but she wasn’t sure. She was so tired she was imagining it. She had to be.

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head, his expression closing against itself. “But I can’t tell you more. You’ll have to be satisfied with that.”

THE MESSAGE LIGHT on her answering machine was blinking furiously when Jennifer finally reached her condo. She hit the play button and closed her eyes.

“I heard about the shooting, and I’m real worried. You call me as soon as you get in. I don’t care what time it is, you just call.”

Wanda’s Southern accent filled the small living room. Normally Jennifer would have picked up the phone and called immediately, but she couldn’t make her fingers reach for the receiver. They were as tired as the rest of her, and what little energy she had left, she wanted to use getting clean. She peeled off her clothing, right there in the middle of the den, and walked into the kitchen. Retrieving a paper sack from the pantry, she dropped everything in it and rolled the edges tightly together. Tomorrow she’d burn them.

Naked and shivering in the air-conditioning, she opened the refrigerator. The strongest drink she could find was a bottle of Coors left over from a pizza party some time back. She grabbed it, opened the bottle, and downed the beer. She didn’t lower the bottle until it was empty, then she stumbled into her bathroom and opened the shower door. When she stepped out twenty minutes later, her skin was red and raw—whether from the heat of the steaming water or the scrubbing she didn’t know.

Her stomach in knots, she knew the only way she could get to sleep was to eat something first. Somewhere between scrambling the eggs and getting the grape jelly out of the refrigerator, she began to cry. The tears ran down her cheeks, but she just ignored them. They weren’t going to stop and there was nothing she could do about it so she let them come.

God, how had it happened? One minute she’d been standing beside Howard and the next she’d ordered him to go to that window. No wonder he’d grabbed her—she’d scared him half to death. Then Beck had finished him off.

And she’d trusted him!

He’d sounded so sympathetic over the phone, so caring and warm. In reality, he reminded her of a photograph she’d seen in a sixth-grade world history textbook of a Nordic trapper. He had the same cold, blond looks and size, plus a face like a stony mask. All that was missing were the dogs and sled.

The ringing phone startled her out of her thoughts and her heart thudded in answer against her chest. It took a second for her to regain her composure. Would she ever hear a phone sound again and not jump? Wanda’s worried voice could be heard on the answering machine, her drawl even thicker than usual.

“Are you there, girl? What’s going on—”

“I’m here, Wanda.” Clutching her robe, Jennifer grabbed the phone. “I just got in. I—I’m fine.”

“Praise the Lord! I’ve been worried sick. I heard about what happened at the school, and…well, good grief, honey, are you okay?”

That was all it took. Jennifer began to sob again and several minutes filled with Wanda’s “That’s okay, now, darlin”’ and “C’mon, sugar” passed before her tears subsided. When she hiccuped to a stop, she explained what had happened.

“Oh, my God!” Wanda’s concern echoed over the line. She didn’t know him but she’d listened to Jennifer’s Howard stories time and time again. “And they killed him?”

“Y-yes. Right in front of us. It was terrible, Wanda. I—I can’t believe it actually happened. And I helped!”

“But, honey, he might have murdered every one of y’all.”

“Wanda! You’ve heard me talk about him! Do you really think he would have shot us?”

“He shot that poor other man.”

“It must have been an accident! Howard wouldn’t have just walked up and done it in cold blood. He wasn’t like that.”

“But you said he raised the gun when Juan ran over.”

“He did but he was trying to keep it away from Juan. When he saw Howard dragging me to the window, Juan thought I was in danger. He ran over to grab the gun.”

“Are you sure? Absolutely positive?”

In the background, Jennifer could hear canned laughter coming from Wanda’s television. She lived alone and when she was home, it was on.

“How do you know Howard was just keepin’ that gun away from the boy?” Wanda continued, cutting off Jennifer’s potential answer. “He could have been bringin’ it up to shoot. You don’t know! You just don’t know.”

“No.” Jennifer replied immediately. “I’m sure he wasn’t—”

“Why? What makes you so sure? Haven’t you ever been wrong before, Jennifer? I certainly have and I can’t imagine that you haven’t been in all your thirty-six years.”

Despite her Southern ways, Wanda never minced words. Jennifer swallowed, her throat tight. “I have been wrong before, certainly.”

“We never know what’s in another person’s mind, sugar.” The nurse’s voice softened. “We just don’t know. You could be mistaken. Howard French was a strange duck. He coulda been liftin’ that rifle to shoot that poor little boy. You better think long and hard before you set what you think in stone.”

They talked a few more minutes after that, Wanda reassuring Jennifer her mother was fine. “We turned off the TV so she wouldn’t hear all the news. She seemed pretty foggy today, but you never know what’s soakin’ in and what isn’t.”