Mindy Neff - The Secretary Gets Her Man

“My gosh,” Kelly said when she opened the door. “You look fabulous!” Two shrieking little boys charged past, nearly knocking Penny off the porch. Tightening her grip around the two-year-old in her arm, Kelly made a grab for the little hellions and missed. “Sorry. Come in. Come in. Boys! Stay in the yard.”

“Okay, Mom!”

Kelly shook her head. “I love getting your cards every year. I can’t believe it’s been twelve years since I’ve actually seen you!” Twelve years since her father’s funeral and Mitchell’s invitation to come work for him. “Janelle and Pam are still griping because you didn’t come to the reunion.”

No, she hadn’t come back for the reunion. She’d been worried that Joe would be there. And as much as she might have liked to flaunt her success and hard-won independence, she hadn’t trusted herself to be strong.

Penny stepped into the house, hugged Kelly, and smiled at the little girl who promptly latched onto a hunk of her curly hair. “Ouch!” she teased.

“Makayla, quit it,” Kelly admonished the baby gently, disentangling the fat little fingers. “You don’t pull the hair of important government ladies.”

“Get out,” Penny said.

Kelly laughed. “Yeah. Can’t get too mysterious for me. I know your secrets.”

“If you remind me about that strawberry wine incident, I might have to deck you.”

“Looks like you could mop the floor with me easy enough.” She tested Penny’s firm arms. “You make me sick,” she said fondly. “Here you are all sleek and sexy and I’m a dumpy mother of three.”

“You’re not dumpy and you’re much more than just a mother—although that’s a fine profession in itself.” Unaccountably, Penny had the urge to hold her hands out to little Makayla, to see if the baby would come to her. Weird. “I’m anxious to see your new bookstore.”

“Oh, you will. But not today, okay? I’ve about stocked and inventoried myself to death. Today’s play day. Girls’ day. I hope you don’t mind, but I called Pam and Janelle and told them you were coming. They ought to be here any minute now. I hope that’s okay?”

“Sure. I’m dying to see everybody.” The doorbell rang. “Speak of the devils?”

“Yes. Brace yourself,” Kelly said. “It’s about to look like an unruly day-care center in here.”

Without waiting for an invitation, the door opened and Janelle and Pam came in, each juggling children. The women squealed, set down their kids and ran to hug Penny.

“You dog!” Pam said with a laugh. “Look at you. Miss Secret Agent, herself.”

“Who told everybody I was a secret agent?” Penny asked.

“Oh,” Janelle said. “I just knew that was supposed to be hush-hush. Your grandmother said something at the beauty shop, and I was booked solid that day—seemed like the whole town was there. That must have been five or six years back.” She gave an apologetic shrug and rested her hand on the shelf of her pregnant belly. “By now, I don’t imagine there’s a soul in Darby who doesn’t know.”

They went into the kitchen. Amid coffee cups, baby bottles, little boys running through the back door tracking sand and dirt, toy trucks scattered under the table and a miniature pink shopping cart being shoved repeatedly against the cabinet—and nobody batting an eye or checking for damage—the room was absolute chaos.

And Penny felt a jolt of longing and envy so strong she nearly doubled over with it. Here were her friends. Girlfriends. Girls who’d cried over boys, failed tests, and whined over having to wear stretched out swimsuits in gym class. Penny, it seemed, had always gotten the ones worn by the seniors with gazonga boobs. Her firm little lemons had fared pitifully beneath all that sagging material.

“Russ said if I saw you before he did to tell you he has some papers for you to sign,” Pam said. “Russ was Agnes’s attorney—but you probably already know that.”

“Yes,” Penny said. “I’d planned to stop by, but to be honest, I’m procrastinating. Grandmother’s house is in pretty bad shape and I don’t really know where to start. So I decided to take the day off, catch up with y’all and bring in some groceries. And honestly, how is it you’re having conversations with your husband over breakfast about me when I’ve just got into town?”

“It wasn’t over breakfast. Right after Kelly called to say you were coming over, I phoned Russ so he’d know where I’d be if he needed me. Actually, I was angling for him to take the day off and baby-sit, but no such luck.”

“Speaking of everybody taking the day off,” Janelle said. “I could open up the shop and we could all run over there and do hair and nails and primp. I operate a beauty shop out of my house now. Not that you look like you need to primp,” she amended quickly. “You’ve got the most gorgeous skin. I always hated that about you. Here I am with all the freckles and you don’t have a one.”

“Your freckles are cute,” Penny said. Kelly had written about Janelle’s troubles. She’d finally divorced her no good husband who’d drank and caroused and abused her. Penny was glad to know Janelle had opened her own beauty shop. “And your little girl’s the spitting image of you.”

“Her name’s Lindsey.” Janelle smiled at the shy six-year-old. “She seems a bit awestruck by you.”

Penny laughed. “Why? Did you tell her I was someone scary?”

“No, I did,” Pam said. “Not scary. I told her you were a James Bond girl.”

“Oh, no,” Penny groaned.

“Don’t worry,” Kelly said. “Janelle doesn’t let Lindsey watch R-rated movies so she doesn’t have any idea what a James Bond girl is. But you could always enlighten us,” she invited slyly.

“Oh, yes,” Pam said. “Tell us something juicy.” The three women looked at Penny expectantly. Lindsey shyly inched forward to stand by Penny’s chair. Baby Makayla was still ramming her pink shopping cart into the cabinet.

“It’s not all that glamorous. I work for a branch of the government that handles sensitive cases—which, unfortunately, I can’t speak about.”

“Penny!” Pam wailed. “You can’t just leave it at that.” Her voice lowered and she leaned in closer across the table. “Have you ever shot anybody?”

Penny rolled her eyes and glanced pointedly at Lindsey.

Janelle added her own censoring glare at her friend, then said, “Lindsey, hon, would you redirect Makayla from that cabinet before she knocks a hole in it? Take her on out to the front room where there’s more area to maneuver.”

“Okay.” Lindsey immediately jumped to obey her mother. No whining or sass. Penny wondered if the girl’s shyness and lack of obstinence came from having lived with an abusive father. That thought made her sad. Penny knew about living in a household where you felt the need to walk on eggshells.

When Lindsey had herded Makayla out of the room, Kelly poured another round of coffee. “So, have you shot anyone?” she asked ghoulishly.

“Yes,” Penny said, deliberately shocking her three friends. Well, she had winged one of the cattle rustlers a few months back.

“Oh, my gosh!” Pam cried. “I was sure you’d say no. Is it okay for us to know this? I mean, I don’t have to keep quiet around Russ or anything, do I?”

Penny’s smile grew cunning. “Since I’m sort of Russ’s client, he has a certain loyalty to me, don’t you think?”

All three women were looking at her with awe. “Did you kill the guy?” Kelly asked.

“No. The object is to bring them in alive.”

“Seems silly,” Janelle said softly, almost to herself. “If you could rid the world of some of its vermin then they wouldn’t be taking up space in our jails…and becoming eligible for parole.”