Lee Wilkinson - The Secret Mother

‘Very well, with the proviso that Caitlin likes you, the position is yours, if you want it, for a trial period of one month.’

As she stared at him, pale lips a little parted, he went on, ‘Now to practicalities. I’m prepared to allow you the same time off as your previous employer, and if you stay on alter the trial period, you will receive two weeks’ annual holiday. The post carries a salary of...’ he named an exceedingly generous sum ‘...and there is a self-contained suite next to the nursery, which I think you’ll find comfortable.’

When she continued to gaze at him in silence, he observed brusquely, ‘You look surprised. Have you changed your mind about wanting the job?’

‘No... No, of course not... I just hadn’t expected to be offered it.’

‘Why not?’

‘I...I got the impression you didn’t like me.’

Sardonically, he said, ‘It hadn’t occurred to me that it was necessary to like the nanny I engaged.’

As her face began to burn he added flatly, ‘If Caitlin takes to you, that’s all that matters. She’s a sunny, good-natured little thing, and very forward for her age. At the moment Mrs Monaghan, my housekeeper, is looking after her, and according to that good lady the child isn’t one scrap of trouble.

‘Even so, it’s a lot for the poor woman to take on, so if everything goes well, and you decide to accept my offer, I’d want you here, ready to start, by tomorrow morning.’

‘Wearing a uniform?’ In spite of Caroline’s efforts to speak smoothly, there was a ragged edge to the question.

After a moment’s deliberation, Matthew answered coolly, ‘I think not’

His tawny eyes on her face, he went on, ‘Now, before we go any further, maybe you’d like to ask me some questions?’

When, wits scattered, she failed to respond, he suggested trenchantly, ‘Or possibly you already know everything you need to?’

Taking a deep, steadying breath, she managed, ‘I just know what Mrs Amesbury told me.’

‘And what did Mrs Amesbury tell you?’ He sounded annoyed, as though he suspected they’d been gossiping about him.

‘Only that you are either widowed or divorced, and your daughter is about three years old.’

‘Not terribly accurate, I’m afraid. I’m neither widowed nor divorced...’

So he must be still married... Married to Sara...

Watching Caroline’s eyes widen behind the tinted glasses, he continued, ‘And Caitlin isn’t my daughter. My own mother died shortly after I was born, and when I was nine years old my father married again. His second wife already had a three-year-old son. Caitlin is my stepbrother’s child.’

Quietly, he added, ‘In point of fact I’ve never been married.’

‘Oh, but I thought—’ Cursing her unruly tongue, Caroline stopped speaking abruptly.

‘What did you think, Miss Smith?’

She shook her head. ‘Nothing... Really...’

His thickly lashed eyes glinted, and she feared he was going to pursue the matter, but he let it go and said briskly, ‘Well, if there isn’t anything you want to ask me, perhaps you’d like to take a look at the accommodation and say hello to Caitlin?’

Taking a deep, uneven breath, doing her best to control an almost feverish rush of excitement, Caroline rose to her feet as Matthew left his chair and walked round the desk.

At five feet seven inches she was fairly tall for a woman, but, at an inch or so above six feet, he seemed to tower over her.

Suddenly she found herself trembling with a new and different kind of excitement, and, looking up into his dark face, she was shaken to the core by the depth of her feelings for him.

After all this time she had hoped, prayed, that she would be able to look at him and see only a man she had once known and loved. A man who no longer meant that much to her.

But the instinctive knowledge that he was the other half of herself, the part that made her whole and complete, was still there, as certain and inevitable as it had ever been.

As she stood, dazed and dumb, he suggested smoothly, ‘Now we’ve established that you don’t need the glasses, perhaps you’d care to take them off? It seems a shame to hide such beautiful eyes.’ The last was added with a certain bite, as though he didn’t intend it as a compliment.

Unable to think of a reason for refusing, Caroline took off the glasses and slipped them into her bag, trying not to meet his glance in case he should see all too clearly what she was thinking, feeling.

He opened the door and, a hand at her waist, ushered her across the well-furnished hall and into the living-room.

From the first moment they had met his impact had been stunning, and now his touch—light and impersonal though it was—proved to be devastating, trapping the breath in her throat, making her heart lurch drunkenly and her pulse begin to race with suffocating speed.

Despite its open-plan vastness and elegance, Matthew’s apartment had a homely, lived-in air. Several toys lay scattered on the Aubusson carpet, and a wooden rocking horse, ridden by a large, floppy rag doll with yellow plaits, stood in front of the long windows.

‘The playroom and nursery are this way.’ They went through a wide arch and across a second hallway. ‘And these rooms will be yours if you take the job.’ He threw open a pair of polished doors and showed her around.

Fitted with every mod-con, and beautifully furnished, the suite—sitting-room, bedroom, bathroom and kitchenette—was more than comfortable. It was downright luxurious.

She would have taken the job if it had been a ratinfested dungeon. But everything depended on whether Caitlin showed any signs of liking her.

Feeling a kind of dull hopelessness, Caroline wondered how anyone could expect a child of that tender age—a child who had already had one nanny she didn’t like—to take to a woman who was a total stranger?

‘Now if you’d like to come and meet Caitlin...’

Turning, Matthew led the way to a large, airy kitchen, where Mrs Monaghan was keeping an eye on her charge while making the morning coffee.

Dressed in a long-sleeved cotton shirt and brightly coloured dungarees, the child was busily engaged in tucking a doll into a pram. Looking up at their entrance, she came running over to Matthew and threw her arms around his legs.

Rumpling her dark silky hair, he said, ‘I’d like you to say hello to Miss Smith.’ Then, in a conspiratorial whisper he added, ‘If we’re both very nice to her, she may come and live with us and look after you.’

As Caitlin released her hold and turned to stare solemnly at the newcomer Caroline went down on her haunches. Her heart feeling as though it might burst, she smiled shakily at the little girl.

She was a beautiful and dainty child, her skin with the bloom of a peach, her dimpled cheeks still babyish, her long-lashed eyes an exquisite blue-green.

For long moments they looked at each other without speaking. Then in a clear, childish treble, Caitlin asked, ‘Do you want to come and look after me?’

Caroline found her voice and said huskily, ‘I certainly do. You see, I’ve been looking after two little girls who have to go away, and it would be lovely to have another little girl to take care of.’

After considering this for a second or two, Caitlin turned and trotted away, to return almost immediately with a large brown bear wearing a red and green striped scarf and a pugnacious expression on his heavy-jowled face.

‘This is Barnaby.’ She thrust the bear into Caroline’s arms.

‘Well, hello, Barnaby.’

‘He’s a boy.’

‘And a bear of character, I can see. Would he mind if I hugged him?’

Leaning against Caroline’s knee, Caitlin confided, ‘He likes to be hugged.’