Donna Gartshore - Instant Family

“Well, it isn’t the kind of sick that you can always see.” Frankie tried to think of a way to explain. “I told you that Al has Alzheimer’s disease.”

Rae shifted from one foot to the other. “Is that when people forget stuff?”

“Well, that’s mostly what people think of when they hear about Alzheimer’s, and that does happen. It’s kind of like when you have all the pieces of a puzzle and you just can’t think of how to make them fit together. Al might recognize a lot of the things around him but when he tries to put it into a whole picture it doesn’t make sense to him, and that’s why he gets upset sometimes.”

“Because he’s scared?” Rae asked very softly.

“Yes, Sweet Pea, that’s exactly right.”

After a few seconds of silence Rae asked, “Will Nana and Pops get it?”

Frankie thought of her parents. They were probably up early, too, and working in their garden. They were both healthy, but one never knew for sure. Ben had said he’d thought his father would be the last person to suffer from it.

“I don’t think that’s something we need to worry about today,” she said. “Now, why don’t you go get your breakfast and pick out the clothes you’re going to wear.”

Frankie followed Rae inside and decided to forgo another cup of coffee and have a glass of water instead. After she made sure that Rae had what she needed, she went back onto the deck, taking the morning newspaper with the hope of absorbing herself in the crossword puzzle.

Outside she saw Ben across the way on their deck and she considered dashing back inside again before he spotted her. But it was too late. He lifted his coffee mug in a kind of salute. Then he pointed at himself and at her, with his eyebrows raised in a question, asking if he could join her.

Frankie groaned under her breath. Naturally, she thought wryly, first thing in the morning and he had to look like a male model advertising the virtues of the great outdoors. She didn’t even want to think of what she must look like to him with her bedhead hair and her grubby lounge wear. She wished she could say no and go back inside, but she couldn’t think of a way to do it now without it being rude.

* * *

Ben had purposely got up early to get some quiet time in before his day was taken over by his father’s constant needs. When he spotted Frankie on her own deck, he guessed that she, too, must need the quiet. He could only imagine that single-mom duties could easily overtake her day, as well. But the next thing he knew, he was asking to join her, almost as if he had no will of his own. Or was he just using her as a pleasant distraction from the regrets that almost constantly haunted him?

“Ah, the morning crossword puzzle,” Ben said. He spotted the pencil in her hand. “Not brave enough to do it in ink?” he teased her.

She fixed him with what he’d already begun to think of as “the Frankie face” and said, deadpan, “I don’t want to show off.”

Ben made himself at home in the other chair and took a sip of his coffee.

“Is Rae still asleep?”

“No, she’s inside having breakfast and getting ready. I wish she had slept in a bit later,” Frankie confessed. “I signed her up for those classes at the Nature Center and she’s pretty excited about it.”

Ben nodded his acknowledgment. From Frankie’s expression, it was evident that she was happy Rae had something to look forward to.

“Dad used to love crossword puzzles,” he mused. “He was really good at them, too.”

“You said he was a minister?” Frankie asked. “Have you followed in his footsteps?”

“No.” Ben shook his head. Many things rushed through his mind that he could offer as a way of explanation, but he decided to stick with the basic facts. “I’m a general contractor, but I did want to do something worthwhile, so I’ve been on a few mission trips to help with construction and repairs. I also did a bit of work with literacy programs. It was great sharing Jesus with people in a way that felt natural to me.”

Frankie didn’t say anything, and after a moment she looked down at her crossword puzzle. “What’s a five-letter word for angry?”

The deliberate change in conversation didn’t slip by Ben. Tread carefully, he reminded himself, for his own sake as well as hers. He was curious about her faith and sensed that it was a struggle for her, but he had his own struggles. A Christian upbringing didn’t mean faith was always easy. Sometimes, he thought, it actually made it more difficult.

Ben returned his thoughts to the question. “What does it start with?” he asked.

“I”

“Irate?”

Frankie considered it. “Yes, that works.” She wrote the word in carefully.

“So, Rae likes the Nature Center,” Ben said. “How do you plan to keep yourself busy for the next couple of months?”

It was hard, he mused, to make casual conversation when the thought of how appealing she looked floated up like a ginger ale bubble in him.

She tucked her hair behind her ears. In the morning light, the color looked like a sunrise.

“I like to walk and look at things,” Frankie told him. “I enjoy sitting down by the water to watch the waves and think.”

He had the distinct impression that she had much more planned than that, but her expression was closed, not allowing further questions.

“My mom was a schoolteacher,” he shared, sensing it would be better to talk about other things. “What about your parents? Are they both...?”

“Alive, yes,” she said. “And, thankfully, they’re healthy, too. We all live in Regina. It’s about a six-hour drive from here.”

“We’re from Saskatoon,” Ben said. “Is this your first time here at the lake?”

Frankie nodded. “I’d heard good things about it. I figured it sounded like a perfect place for us to...” Ben could almost see her swallowing a word. “For us to have fun,” she finished.

Ben gave a rueful chuckle. “I guess I’m hoping that something here will still be meaningful to Dad. I’m quite certain this will be our last trip here together.” It surprised him that he had said the words out loud, but somehow having them fall on other ears took away a trace of the sting in his throat.

They sat in silence for a moment. Frankie put down her pencil. Through the window screen, they could hear Rae humming to herself.

“She likes it here,” Frankie said with a smile that softened her face.

“You’re a good mom,” Ben said. He felt those words were inadequate, but it was the best he could come up with.

“Thank you. I try.”

Frankie studied her hands, then set her gaze directly on him.

“I do my best. It hasn’t been easy for us on our own.” She lifted her chin and her expression told Ben that she wasn’t providing any more details—not now and maybe not ever.

He wanted to let her know in some way that he understood. Oh, he definitely understood what it meant to step into a void you weren’t at all confident you could fill.

“I feel that way about Dad sometimes,” he admitted. “I don’t know how many times a day I just wish I had someone to compare notes with. I mean, there are support groups and all but...”

Frankie nodded in agreement.

“Will your dad be okay with you over here?”

“He was sound asleep when I left, but I should go check on him soon. Frankie?”

“Yes?”

“I was wondering if it would be okay if we walked to the Nature Center with you and Rae. Dad’s usually better about eating his breakfast if he gets a walk first.”

He could see her hesitate slightly. Then she spoke.

“That’s fine. I’m sure Rae would like that.”

* * *

I like this blouse, Frankie told herself as she got dressed. She’d wear it anyway. It had nothing to do with the fact that she always got compliments about how well the color suited her. It had nothing to do with her wanting Ben to know she could look much better than she had this morning.