Laura Martin - Perfect Strangers

And Jake?

Olivia moved to look at him. Her head had been resting on the firm, hard chest, but as she moved so did he, lifting her from him, slipping away from her, accompanied by a sharp, almost angry release of breath until there was no longer any physical contact.

‘Jake?’ Olivia’s voice was tentative, uncertain in the half-light. She reached across and cautiously touched the muscular hair-roughened arm that lay a distance from hers. ‘Jake?’

‘Yes?’ His tone was enigmatic, flat almost. Olivia felt the sharp stab of rejection, like a knife through her body. What had she expected? A declaration of love? Some word that would indicate he felt as moved as she?

Destiny. The word reverberated in her mind. They were meant to be lovers. She knew it. She felt it with her whole being. This had not been a mistake. Knowing it filled her mind. The future stretched ahead, bright and full of meaning now that she had met this man.

But she didn’t like this silence; it frightened her.

A shaft of despair ran through Olivia’s body. Surely he wasn’t regretting all that had just taken place? Surely not. ‘It. . .it was OK, wasn’t it?’

‘Yes.’

Olivia swallowed and closed her eyes. What was wrong? Why was he being so. . .so distant? She felt movement beside her and saw in the half-light that he had raised himself to a sitting position.

‘It was more than OK,’ he asserted roughly, as if the admission was being dragged out of him. ‘You know that.’

‘Do I?’ She sounded like a child; young and immensely vulnerable.

‘The seduction...’ There was a pause. She could feel him searching for words in the darkness. ‘It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t premeditated...’ His voice was deep, rough-edged. ‘I don’t want you to think that I wander the countryside seducing lone women! It took me as much by surprise as it did you.’

‘I know that,’ Olivia replied unsteadily, watching his outline as he dragged strong fingers through sweat-slicked hair. He sounded bewildered, as if already regretting his indulgence in the pleasures of the flesh.

‘How do you know?’ He looked down at her, silvery moonlight flashing like steel in his eyes. ‘We’ve just met, Olivia, remember?’ he reminded her unsteadily. ‘You know as little about me as I do about you! You were a virgin, for God’s sake!’ He flung the word at her like an accusation. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘It didn’t seem important,’ Olivia replied quietly.

‘Not important?’

‘You know what I mean!’ Olivia hated the way he was making her feel. She tried desperately to find the right words that would make him understand. ‘I wanted you to make love to me.’

She heard him release a taut breath. ‘I know.’

Olivia tried to swallow but her throat felt tight. She shivered in the chill room. ‘You’re regretting what’s happened, aren’t you?’

‘No.’ His voice was flat. He looked across at Olivia and she felt rather than saw the intensity of his gaze. ‘How could I regret any of what’s just taken place?’ he added quietly. ‘But we’re strangers. . .’

Was that all it was? Olivia felt a sense of relief wash over her. ‘We could change that,’ she replied simply.

‘What?’

Was he being deliberately cruel? His voice sounded harsh and scornful suddenly, amazed, outraged even, as if she had suggested something dreadful. Surely not. Jake had been so sensitive, so caring during their lovemaking.

Everything was going wrong. Tears welled in Olivia’s eyes and she shut them tight, glad of the virtual darkness of the room. ‘I just thought—’

‘Well, don’t!’ He released a heavy sigh. ‘Please, don’t think! Look, Olivia. It was good. Hell, it was better than good, but don’t go getting the wrong idea.’ Jake reached over and for a fleeting moment she felt the warmth of his touch on her face. ‘I don’t regret what’s taken place between us, I’ve told you that, but I’m not interested in involvement, or emotional ties or anything that even remotely resembles a relationship.’ He released a taut breath and swung away from her. ‘So if you’re under the illusion that—’

‘I’m not!’ Olivia’s voice was sharp. She was having to think fast and talk even faster. Such humiliation! She could hardly bear it. She had given this man everything. She had followed her true feelings, been guided by the deepest of emotions, only to have it all thrown back in her face. She hardened her voice. ‘You’ve obviously got the wrong impression. Don’t worry, Jake, I’m not the clinging type!’

She heard a relieved breath. ‘Good.’ There was an agonising pause. ‘Look,’ he continued eventually, ‘if I’ve made you feel bad or cheated then I’m sorry—’

Pain twisted like a knife in a wound. She didn’t want his sympathy! ‘You haven’t!’ Olivia took a steadying breath and continued determinedly, ‘I’ve come to this part of the world to be free from ties and complications. I’ve just. . .extracted myself from a rather messy emotional tangle and the last thing I want is another relationship! I’m. . . I’m just not interested.’

‘So we feel the same way?’ His voice was cool, but questioning, and she could sense the importance attached to the enquiry.

Olivia gulped a breath and swung her legs off the bed, groping for her clothes, feeling the damp wool of her dress beneath her fingers. ‘It would seem so. Now,’ she made an effort and hardened her voice still further, ‘I think it’s best if you go.’ She attempted a short laugh that sounded strained and unnatural in the gloom. ‘After all, I’m hardly in a position to offer much in the way of hospitality, am I? The place is a mess and it’s freezing up here!’

‘You’ll be all right?’ His voice momentarily held concern in the darkness of the bedroom. ‘If you want help with anything—’

Olivia swung back round to glare at the large, formidable outline. ‘Just go, will you?’ she gritted. ‘It’s been a long day. I’m tired and I’m cold and now that it’s all over and we know where we both stand I just want you out of my house!’

‘As you wish.’ The warmth in Jake’s voice had turned to ice. He rose from the bed and picked up his clothes from the floor. Olivia watched, tears glistening in her eyes, as he dressed without haste. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so desolate, so alone.

‘I suppose. . .’ Olivia cleared her throat and tried to stop herself from shivering ‘. . .there’s a girlfriend waiting for you somewhere?’ She held her breath and then forced herself to say it. ‘A wife?’

‘There’s no one.’ His voice was terse, almost savage. ‘I thought I’d just made that clear! I’m no adulterer! I’m simply not interested in any long-term relationship.’ He finished fastening his shirt and looked across towards the bed. ‘I’ve already been taught my lesson. I’d be a fool not to learn from it.’ There was a slight pause. ‘You must be cold,’ he murmured. ‘I’ll bring up a couple of your suitcases.’

‘There’s no need!’

‘Yes, there is. Your dress was damp from the storm—you can’t put that on again.’

‘I told you not to bother!’ Olivia snapped as he walked out of the bedroom. ‘I don’t need kindness,’ she called wildly. ‘I don’t need you treating me like a child. . .or one of your damn animals!’ she added as an afterthought.

No reply. It was worse than an argument. Suddenly she wanted to fight him. Suddenly she hated him. Why didn’t he feel the same way as she did? How could she have made such a dreadful mistake?

Whilst he was gone Olivia sprang from the bed and struggled with her underclothes. She felt so vulnerable. So foolish. She heard his footsteps on the stairs and fumbled wildly with the catch of her bra.