Linda Goodnight - Unforgettable

“Don’t, Mother. Please don’t.”

Fannie patted the back of her hand. “Okay, if it makes you feel better. Laughter’s good medicine, though. That’s Bible. Wise old King Solomon himself said that. Anyway, back to this forgetting thing. I thought I was overdoing, tired, whatever, so I tried getting more sleep, taking vitamins. I even started taking cod-liver oil because it’s supposed to be brain food. Can you imagine?”

Carrie squinched her eyes and shuddered. “Yuck.”

“Yuck is right, and the nasty stuff didn’t do anything but make the cat want to lick my face.” Frannie grinned, but the emotion didn’t reach her eyes. Her lipstick had faded with the day, leaving the rim of red liner.

Carrie had a horrible thought that her mother would be like this. All the color and vibrance fading away with only the outer shadow left behind.

She took a sip of the cold drink in an effort to wash down the dark taste of sorrow. Mother may be putting on a happy face but Carrie couldn’t.

The ice maker rumbled and the clock on the stove ticked once. Her mother took a deep breath, held it, held it, held it and then slowly exhaled.

“I was in the hardware store yesterday and not only forgot why I was there but what kind of store it was. I kept looking around at tools and light fixtures and wondering if someone was having a garage sale.” She made a self-deprecating sound through her nose. “Isn’t that silly? It’s like this cloud comes over my brain, then after a while moves on, letting the sun back in. It’s the weirdest feeling.” Her voice dwindled to a stop like a car slowly running out of gas.

“Oh, Mother.” Carrie leaned her forehead onto the heel of her hand. Why God? Why are You doing this?

Frannie sipped at her tea and grimaced. “Unsweetened. You should have warned me.” She plunked the glass down and swiped at the condensation ring on the table. “You know what I discovered in my cupboards last night?”

Carrie shook her head. “I’m not sure I want to know.”

“Twenty-two cans of chicken noodle soup.” Frannie slapped her thigh and cackled. “What do you think? Maybe I was expecting a flu epidemic?”

How could Mother laugh when Carrie wanted to run screaming from the kitchen. “How did that happen?”

“I don’t know. Well, I do, actually. When I would go shopping, I’d wonder if I was out of soup, but I wasn’t sure so I bought more. Guess what else I stocked up on?”

“Do I dare ask?”

“Eight bottles of ketchup, nine giant jars of dill pickles and—get this—sixteen cans of creamed corn.”

“You don’t even like creamed corn.”

“No, but Lexi does. That child can eat creamed corn like most kids eat peanut butter and jelly. I guess I didn’t want to disappoint her by running out.”

“Oh, Mother,” Carrie said again, voice as heavy as her heart.

“I know, honey,” Frannie said, patting her shoulder. “At least I know today. I may forget in ten minutes but I know right now. Someday I’ll be able to hide my own Easter eggs.”

“Stop it! Stop joking about this. There is nothing funny about Alzheimer’s disease.”

Expression mild, Frannie answered, “No, there isn’t, but this is my new reality. I can face it with a smile or a frown, but I have to face it. The Lord has always taken care of us, Carrie. We have to trust that He’s in this, too.”

Yeah, well, if He was in this thing, Carrie would like to know where. How could Mother go on blithely trusting a God who was letting her down in the worst possible way? If He cared at all, He could stop this awful thing from happening to a woman who had served Him all the days of her life. If He cared.

Carrie shoved away from the table and stalked to the kitchen sink to yank the drain plug.

Frannie followed her, heeled slides tip-tapping on the tile. “I told Dr. Morrison to put me on the list for trials and drugs tests and anything experimental.”

“Oh, like that’s going to cheer me up.”

Swishing the pink sweaters up and down while running a blast of cold rinse water, Carrie had a vision of her mother with probes and electrodes poking from her head like Frankenstein. Knowing Frannie, she’d probably wear the conglomeration like a hat and march down the street in the Independence Day Parade.

“If I have to have this silly forgetting disease, I want somebody to get some good out of it. If not me, someone else. God can take this bad thing and bring something good from it the way He always does. Besides, I like the idea of being a pioneer,” she said, cheerfully. “Just think, Carrie, if they could find a cure through me. Wouldn’t that be magnificent?”

Magnificent would be if Mother didn’t have this disease in the first place.

“Would you hand me that towel over there?” And stop talking about this. “I want to get these sweaters laid out to dry before Lexi comes home from school.”

The front door banged opened. “Mom!”

“Too late.” Frannie smiled, handing over the thick, terry towel. “Our girl is home.” Cupping her hands around her mouth like parentheses, she called, “In here, rosebud.”

Dropping books and a one-strap backpack as she came, Lexi rounded the bar. “Hi, Grannie Frannie.”

Frannie produced a cheek for smooching, and Carrie did the same. Lexi looped her arms around Carrie’s shoulders for a hug, her slim-as-a-rail body pressed into her mother’s back. She smelled of Sea Island Cotton by Bath & Body Works along with freshly applied strawberry lip gloss and that special scent found only in public schools. Her sleek brown hair, lightened like a halo around her angelic face, brushed softly against Carrie’s cheek.

For the first time all afternoon, Carrie’s mood lifted. Dear Lord, she loved this child. While other mothers bemoaned their teenagers, Carrie felt almost smug about her close-to-perfect daughter. She was good at mothering, a fact that still caused a yearning for the children she’d never had.

“Do you have softball practice today?” Frannie asked.

Lexi smooched Carrie’s cheek again and straightened. “Yes. Want to take me out for pizza first?”

Mother’s baseball cap bobbed. “Sounds like fun.”

Carrie tensed. Given this afternoon’s talk, the idea of her mother venturing off with her only child was not welcome. Yes, they’d run around together for years like two best friends, but things were different now.

Lexi opened the fridge, took out a carrot and crunched. “Is it okay if we pick up Courtney?”

“You bet. Tell her to bring that bong-bong CD.”

Carrie turned from the sink, hands dripping. “Bong-bong?”

Lexi’s shoulders hunched into giggle. “That’s what Grannie Frannie calls hip-hop.”

“Ah.”

“Go change clothes and get your gear.” Mother’s hands made a shooing motion. “I’m raring to go.”

“You’re the best granny ever.” After a final, quick hug, Lexi started out of the kitchen, half-eaten carrot in hand. “Wait’ll you see my new batting gloves, Grannie Frannie. They’re so cool. Hot pink and purple. Courtney has the same ones.”

Carrie waited until Lexi was out of hearing range. “I’m not sure this is such a good idea.”

Mother, still smiling in Lexi’s direction, slowly turned to face Carrie. “Why not?”

Carrie clutched the wet towel in her hands like a life preserver. “Did the doctor say you could continue to drive?”

“Of course. He said I’d know when to stop.”

That wasn’t too reassuring. “What if you have another lapse?”

Mother’s smile dwindled away. “Carrie, I’ve driven all over the county since the diagnosis. No problems at all. Besides, Lexi will be with me.”

That’s what worried her. She bit her bottom lip in an effort to keep her mouth shut.