DONNA ALWARD: The Cowboy's Christmas Family

“Thanks. I’ll take him. You probably want to get going.”

But Cole didn’t move. “You’re not leaving right away, are you?”

Her cheeks heated. “Well, I have to spend a few minutes tidying up. It won’t take long.”

Cole shifted Lucas’s weight, and to Maddy’s consternation, Lucas’s eyes were drifting shut, cocooned in the warm curve of Cole’s arm. “It’ll take you longer if you have him in your arms,” Cole reasoned. “I can stay for a few minutes. Give you a hand.”

“That’s generous of you, Cole, but...”

“But nothing.” He chuckled. “I heard you were stubborn. Accept the help, Maddy. It’s no big deal.”

It felt like a big deal to her. “I’m perfectly capable of handling it. Thank you.” She moved forward and took Lucas out of Cole’s arms, close enough to Cole that she could smell his aftershave and feel the soft cotton of his shirt as her fingers brushed against it. The last thing she wanted was more pity. More sympathetic looks. All it did was remind her of how stupid she’d been. How duped. She’d been an inconsolable wreck when she’d gotten the news about the car accident. Three days later she’d gone to Gavin’s funeral as the grieving widow, devastated that they’d never have the chance to fix their marriage, that her boys would grow up without their father.

And two days later she’d heard the rumors. And remembered that Laura had been at the funeral and offered her condolences...

Maddy brushed past Cole and left him to exit the library on his own, and she went to the conference room and began putting muffins back in the tin with one hand.

No one would make a fool of her that way again.

* * *

COLE SAT AT the kitchen table, sipping a glass of water and reading one of his latest cattle magazines. He knew he should go to bed. Tomorrow was an early start, and there were things he wanted to get done before snow hit, as it was forecast to do tomorrow night. He turned another page and realized he hadn’t really been reading. He’d been thinking about Maddy Wallace, how tired she’d looked, how she tried to cover it with her work face and how defensive she’d gotten when he’d tried to help.

And then he’d called her stubborn and that had been the end of any assistance he might have offered. That really stuck in her craw. He’d make a point of not saying that again. He was certain to see her, as the meetings for the committee were always at the library. Besides, Gibson was pretty small. Their paths crossed now and again.

And as such, Maddy’s story was pretty common knowledge. Her husband had been killed in a car accident several months before, leaving her widowed with the twins. Which would have been bad enough, but rumors had spread that Gavin Wallace had been having an affair. He didn’t blame Maddy for being defensive. It wasn’t nice having your dirty laundry hung up for everyone to see.

The exhausted, hopeless look on her face tonight had reminded him of someone else, too. Someone he tried not to think of much anymore...

He hardly noticed when his mother came into the kitchen. It wasn’t until the fridge door opened that he jumped and spun in his chair, looking over his shoulder at her.

Ellen Hudson was still a beautiful woman at fifty-seven. Her gray hair was cut in a wispy sort of bob and while she had crow’s-feet at the corners of her eyes, they still twinkled as blue as ever. She gave a light laugh at Cole’s surprise and took a carton of milk from the fridge.

“You’re up late. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Just reading. Winding down.” Thinking too much.

She went to the cupboard and got a mug. “Me, too. I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d try some warm milk.” She poured the milk into the mug and put it in the microwave. Cole watched as she took it out again, added a splash of vanilla and a spoon of brown sugar, and took a sip.

“I don’t know how you drink that disgusting stuff,” he commented, closing his magazine.

She grinned and sat down opposite him. “I drank it when I was pregnant with Tanner and was off the caffeine.” She cradled the mug and looked up at him. “Something on your mind, son?”

“Not really. Probably just too much coffee at the meeting tonight.”

“How’d that go?”

“Good,” he answered, leaning back in his chair. “Things are coming together.”

“I’m sorry we’re going to miss it,” his mother said. “We’ll be in St. Thomas by then.”

Cole grinned. “You’re not that sorry. You and Dad have been waiting for this trip for years.” They were flying to Florida to spend a week, and then taking a two-week cruise through the Caribbean. “Besides, you’ll be back for Christmas.”

“Of course we will. With a suntan.” She laughed a little. “I’m not sure if my sleeping problems are from excitement or anxiety.”

It was Cole’s turn to laugh. “Mom, I promise Tanner and I aren’t going to throw any ragers while you guys are out of town.”

“Smart-ass.” But she laughed, too. “You both are grown men. And good men. Still, I hate leaving you to manage both the ranch and the house.”

“We’re big boys. We know how to clean and cook. You go and don’t worry a bit about us. We’ll eat steak every night. It’s Tanner’s specialty.”

If Tanner was ever home, that was. He always seemed to find somewhere to go, something to do. And when he wasn’t being a social butterfly, he was putting in hours as a volunteer EMT. Maybe it was because Tanner was younger, but he had an energy that far surpassed Cole’s. Or maybe Cole was just more of a homebody.

“You know, if you’d hurry up and get married...”

“I know, I know. You and Dad would downsize and you wouldn’t worry about me so much. And while I’m at it, get to work on some grandkids for you to spoil.”

It was a well-worn refrain. And one he understood, but he didn’t need to have it mentioned quite so often. It wasn’t that he had anything against settling down. He just hadn’t met the right one yet. Every girl he dated seemed great for a while, but then the novelty fizzled out.

Lately he’d started to wonder if the problem was that he was afraid of getting too close to someone. When Roni left him, he’d felt like such a failure. He’d tried over and over to help her, but nothing had worked. He had no idea where she was now, or if she was even okay. Truth be told, he hadn’t been in love with a woman since she’d trampled on his heart. And that had been eight long years ago.

His mind went back a few hours to Maddy and the way she’d shut him out so quickly. She was living proof of what happened when a marriage went wrong. The last thing he’d want to do was rush into a marriage and end up making a mess. “I’m not in a big hurry,” he replied, frowning into his water glass. “I take marriage seriously, Mom. Isn’t that what you want?”

“Of course.” She reached over and touched his hand. “You know we just want to see you happy. You’d be such a good dad, Cole. A good husband. You’re a good man.”

Ugh, she made it sound as though he was such a paragon, when he knew he wasn’t. He supposed she was looking at him through mom goggles.

“Hmm,” he answered, thinking again of Maddy and how stressed she’d seemed. It had to be hard at the best of times, handling twins. Doing it on her own must be an extra challenge. He remembered what she was like before. A hard worker, always with a smile, with an extra glow once she met Gavin and they got engaged. In Gibson everyone pretty well knew everyone else, even though she’d been a few years behind him in school. It sucked that her vibrancy, that glow, had disappeared.

“Thinking about anything in particular?” his mom asked.

“Just Maddy Wallace. She was working at the library tonight and her babysitting fell through and she had the twins. She was run ragged.”