Hannah Bernard - The Dating Resolution

Adventure, right? her internal California girl asked with a sarcastic twist to her voice. Hailey ignored her. She jumped down off the porch and jogged over the grass toward the low wooden fence and peered over it. Yes. No scrawny decorative trees. It was really a forest. A real forest with real, huge trees. No sissy city trees either.

Just a few steps out of her own backyard and she’d practically be out in the wilderness.

Hailey smiled.

This was so cool!

To: All

From: Hailey@MySelfImposedExile.com

Subject: Miss me?

Hi, guys! Guess where I am! No, you’ll never guess, so I’ll just tell you—ALASKA!

I’m taking part in the teacher exchange program, and before you ask: I didn’t tell you because you’d try to talk me out of it. Now it’s too late! Don’t worry—I’m fine. This is going to be fun.

I’ll be here one semester only, so I’ll be back before Christmas. Hardly enough time to miss me, but I know you’ll try. I’m including my address and phone number—but e-mail is easiest for destitute schoolteachers, isn’t it?

Love from up north,

Hailey

The phone rang only a couple of minutes after she’d located Jane’s computer and sent an e-mail to all her friends off in cyberspace. As she picked up the phone, Hailey made a mental bet with herself about the identity of the caller.

“You are where?”

Yup. Ellen.

Hailey grinned, and in self-defense held the phone several inches away from her ear. She’d done this on purpose—not telling any of her friends what she was up to. They were far too good at talking her out of things. Now, it was too late, but she didn’t doubt they’d give it their best shot anyway. Well, they could try all they wanted—it was too late. She had committed to staying here for the next five months. Even if she wanted to, she couldn’t come back until Christmas. It was perfect.

“Hi, Ellen!”

“Please tell me you were delusional or drunk—or both—when you sent that e-mail.”

“Sorry to disappoint you.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m in Alaska,” she repeated. “Just like it says in my e-mail.”

Ellen cursed. “I was hoping it was one of your stupid practical jokes. What the hell are you doing, moving to Alaska? Without even telling me!”

“I’m not moving. It’s only for one semester.”

“What will you be doing there?”

“Same thing as I’m doing at home. Teaching third grade. Their teacher is replacing me back home, you should meet her next week. She’s living in my apartment too.”

“A total stranger is living in your apartment?”

“Yup. And I’m living in her house. Isn’t this teacher exchange program a brilliant idea?”

“What teacher exchange program?”

“The new experimental scheme. We all got e-mails about it a few months ago, remember? Opportunity to expand your horizons, seek new challenges, return with new visions, blah blah blah.”

“But…but…Alaska?” Ellen shrieked. “Hailey, have you lost your marbles?”

“Why? What’s wrong with Alaska?”

“There is nothing wrong with Alaska—except that it’s as far as you can get away from here without emigrating.”

“We have phones. E-mail. It’s no worse than being a state away.

“You don’t know anyone out there!”

“That’s the good part. I get away from all the people who have a problem with my decision to stay away from men this year.”

“Is that what this is about?”

“Partly.”

“I see. So your plan is to become a hermit—see the problem?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ellen! I’m not becoming a hermit!”

“Moving to Alaska where you don’t know anybody—without even consulting your closest friends…. Well, either you’re having a nervous breakdown, an early midlife crisis, or you’ve simply decided on a lifestyle change to go with your new no-men policy and thought a hermit sounded like a nice vocation in life.”

Hailey chose to ignore all jabs about a midlife crisis. The turning-thirty crisis was bad enough. “See? You’re part of the worldwide conspiracy! I’m not a hermit just because I’m not dating and decided I needed a change of scenery for a while!”

“Why did you need Alaskan scenery?”

“It sounded interesting. A small Alaskan town—something completely different from what I’m used to.”

“Alaska is cold!”

“Alaska is beautiful,” she countered. “The snow, the ice, the northern lights, the landscape…it’s gorgeous. I’ve always wanted to come here. I can’t wait for winter to march on.”

“It’s freezing!”

“It’s fascinating. You should see the forest behind my house! It’s amazing. Looks like something Tarzan could hide in.”

“Tarzan? Now you’re talking, if on a different continent. What are Alaskan men like?”

Hailey ignored that. “And I can’t wait to see the northern lights!”

“You’re a California girl, remember? You’ll die of cold!”

“Nah. I’ll just need a few more layers of clothes, that’s all. It’s the most wonderful excuse to buy cashmere!”

“But…but…there are no shopping malls!”

Hailey rolled her eyes. “Ellen, I’m in Alaska, not at the North Pole. I’m quite close to Anchorage. Of course there are malls.” She’d just have to hitch a ride there. Or get a car and learn about winter driving.

“Hailey, Alaska is a million miles away!”

She grinned into the phone. “Exactly.”

Ellen’s sigh was eloquent. Hailey could almost visualize her taking her glasses off and pinching the bridge of her nose. “I don’t think you fully understand the gravity of the situation. You’re a million miles away!”

“Yes. I heard you the first time. That’s the point.”

“Away from me!” Ellen wailed.

“Well, there is that.” Yes. She would miss her friends. “But I’ll e-mail you. All the time. I’ll nag and moan and whine and complain, just like normal. You won’t even notice I’m gone.”

“Bah! Why Alaska? There are men in Alaska, you know. There are men everywhere, thank God.”

“I wanted to go to a different environment for a while, get to know different people. Here I won’t have my well-intentioned friends to send me on horror dates, no relatives to look at me with sad eyes and talk about marriage and babies—see why this is perfect?”

“You’ll make new friends who’ll be just as eager to help you find true love. You’ll be in the same situation within a month. This does not solve a thing.”

“I’m telling everybody I’m already married. I’ve already set things in motion.” A ring. She needed to get a ring. And find a gossipy neighbor to do the job. Jordan didn’t seem the type.

“Oh, really? And where’s your fictional husband? You keep him up in the attic?”

“This is the brilliant part. He’s on an oil rig somewhere off the coast of Siberia and is only home for a few weeks every six months.”

“Siberia?”

Hailey grimaced. Why did everybody say Siberia in that tone of voice? “Yup.”

“Why Siberia?”

“I don’t know. It was the first thing that came to mind. Oil rig—Siberia. Maybe I saw something about it in one of those Discovery documentaries I watch when I can’t sleep.”

“Did the documentary show lots of hunky guys on those oil rigs?”

“I don’t remember. But now it has one. My husband, Robert.”

“Robert?”

“Yes. Robert.”

“Are you nuts? Would you seriously marry a guy who was on the other side of the world most of the time? What kind of relationship is this anyway?”

“That’s not really relevant, is it? He’s not real. This is fiction.”

Ellen snorted. “Very creative. I need a drink. Does Siberia even have a coast?”