Carole Page - A Child Shall Lead Them

But lately, his emotions were betraying him. He couldn’t summon memories of Mandy the way he used to, couldn’t visualize her face, her eyes, her smile. It was as if she were slowly, inevitably retreating from him, quietly vanishing into the shadows. How could that be? How could he be losing her again?

Whatever it took, he couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t stand to lose Mandy twice in one lifetime. Hadn’t he already grieved enough? Hadn’t he remained stalwart and unshakable in the face of grief? It had taken more strength than he had imagined to reconcile himself to living with mere memories, but he had done it. Had become surprisingly comfortable, in fact.

But now everything was changing. A wellspring of long-suppressed emotions was erupting in his soul, mushrooming up, supplanting his placid memories of Mandy, replacing them with confusing feelings, unexpected yearnings, unsettling desires. And they all focused on one woman—the lovely, loquacious Juliana Pagliarulo.

“Andrew? Andrew, are you still here?”

Startled, he gazed over the flickering candles at Juliana. She was wearing a stylish, red, belted sheath that accentuated her hourglass figure, and her raven-black hair was swept up in an elegant twist. The candlelight danced in her dark, sultry eyes and gave her bronze complexion a breathtaking radiance.

He cleared his throat, trying to compose himself. “I’m sorry, Juliana. What did you say?”

She leaned forward, a smile teasing her red lips. “I said, here I am having dinner with a very handsome man, and he’s a million miles away. Am I losing my touch?”

He grinned, red-faced. “No, not at all. My mind wandered for a moment. I apologize.”

“Dare I ask where it wandered?”

He flinched. He didn’t want Juliana thinking he was still mooning over his dead wife after all these years, especially when he was on a date with her.

Before he could respond, she murmured gently, “Is it Mandy?”

He lowered his gaze. This lady could read him like a book. “Foolish of me, isn’t it? How can I be thinking about the past when the present company is so delightfully enchanting?”

Her smile widened, a slow, mysterious Mona Lisa smile. “How can I take offense when you say such endearing things?”

Their repartee was interrupted when the waitress brought their Caesar salads. Andrew reached across the table for Juliana’s hand and held it as he bowed his head and asked a blessing on the food. They ate in silence for a moment; then, making conversation, Andrew asked, “So how are the newlyweds doing?”

Juliana blotted her lips with her linen napkin. “Oh, Andrew, they are so in love. You should see them together. They have eyes only for each other.”

Andrew nodded, beaming. “I’m glad they’re happy.” He didn’t want to admit it to Juliana, but he had been a little concerned about his daughter moving into the Pagliarulo estate and beginning her marriage with her mother-in-law and sister-in-law already in residence. With two other women there, Cassie could hardly be the woman of the house. Cautiously he ventured, “How is it working out with all of you under one roof?”

Juliana waved her hand gracefully in the air. “Oh, there is no trouble. We all get along very well. Sometimes I cook, sometimes Cassie cooks, sometimes we cook together. But if you ask me, I think she is just as happy when I take charge.”

“Cassie never was one to cultivate her culinary skills. She was always glad Frannie did the cooking in our house.”

“Well, she and Antonio live such busy lives, I don’t mind taking care of the household chores.”

“Just the same,” warned Andrew, “don’t let her take advantage of your kindness. One of these days she has to learn what being a homemaker is all about.”

“Oh, I’m sure she will learn in time. But for now my son and your daughter feel as if they are still on their honeymoon.”

Andrew finished his salad and set down his fork. “How is your daughter adjusting to the new living arrangements?”

“Belina is very happy to have Cassie living with us now. The two have become good friends. Now that Belina is out of her wheelchair and walking again, she spends little time in her room. She’s discovering a whole new world outside the walls of our home. Cassie and Belina go shopping and take walks together. Cassie has even convinced Belina to enroll at the university.”

“Really? I’m amazed.”

“So was I. It’s hard to believe my daughter who refused to leave her room a year ago is taking classes and meeting people.”

“I know how much that means to you,” said Andrew. “And I’m glad Cassie could have a part in helping her.”

“A very large part, Andrew. I am so grateful to her.”

They paused as the waitress brought Juliana’s manicotti and his veal parmigiana and replenished their basket of garlic bread.

Juliana helped herself to the bread and broke off a crust. “Andrew, the doctors have set a date for Belina’s surgery.”

“Surgery?”

“The side of her face where she was burned in the accident…they have a new technique to remove scar tissue and replace it with skin from another part of her body. So, if all goes well, she will no longer have to live with her disfigurement.”

“Wonderful,” said Andrew. He had liked Belina from the first time they met; he had seen her potential and felt her pain over her scars and physical handicap. Now she was walking again and soon would be as beautiful outside as she was inside.

“Will you come with me to the hospital?” asked Juliana softly. “When Belina goes to surgery?”

Andrew reached across the table for Juliana’s hand and squeezed it firmly. “Of course I will. You know I’ll be there.”

Tears welled in Juliana’s eyes, but she smiled brightly in spite of them. “I had hoped that’s what you would say.”

He sat forward with a confidential air, as if he were about to impart a secret. “You know, Juliana, that I will be there for you whenever you need me. Just say the word.” He felt a sudden impulse to say more, to confess how much he cared for her, how much he needed her, how he was wrong to let their blossoming relationship slip away, but he caught himself and nearly bit his lower lip to keep the words back. Juliana had enough to deal with, without him getting unduly sentimental and burdening her with impossible expectations.

How could he suggest they resume a romantic relationship when it couldn’t possibly lead anywhere? It wasn’t as if they were two lovesick teenagers who could run off and get married and forge a single destiny for themselves. He and Juliana had lived very different lives; they both had obligations, responsibilities that neither could ask the other to surrender. They each had a well-established household to run. Juliana had her daughter to care for, and Andrew had two of his still at home.

He couldn’t imagine asking Juliana to give up her glamorous, independent life in her fancy Del Mar estate to marry him and move into his comfortable but admittedly provincial home. And the idea of the feisty, flamboyant Juliana Pagliarulo performing the humble duties of a minister’s wife was preposterous, prompting him to laugh aloud.

“What’s so funny, Andrew?” asked Juliana with a quizzical smile on her lovely face.

He cleared his throat self-consciously. “Funny?”

“You just laughed, as if someone had told you a joke. What were you thinking about?”

He rubbed his jaw awkwardly, his face warming with embarrassment. Juliana had caught him. There was no way he could tell her the truth—I was laughing at the idea of you being a minister’s wife—and no way he could lie. All he could do was stall or divert the conversation. “How is your manicotti?” he enquired.