Lindsay McKenna - A Man Alone

Realizing she hadn’t answered his question, she stammered, “Uh, n-no. Mr. Trayhern left, but—” she turned and quickly moved to the dresser opposite his bed “—he left this for you.” She picked up a thick manila envelope. Bringing it to his bedside, she said a little breathlessly, “And he said to tell you that the letters you wrote would be sent off tonight to the families, and not to worry about the details. He’d take care of everything, including sending flowers for the funerals, which will be held shortly.”

Thane frowned and took the envelope. “I see. Thanks….”

Paige saw the pain and grief in his eyes. His mouth moved into a thin line. She fought the urge to touch him, to comfort him as he grieved at the terrible loss of his men. “I…I heard what happened. Mr. Trayhern said you’re a hero. I’m sorry for the loss of your team, Thane.” It was impossible not to reach out, and so Paige risked everything, tentatively placing her fingers across his muscular forearm, covered with soft, dark hair.

Just the soothing, cooling contact of her fingers on his skin eased some of his pain. Thane saw her eyes fill with genuine care and sadness. He knew Navajo custom was that once someone died, that person was never spoken of again. Of course, in his world, things were different. But right now he didn’t want to talk about his friends. Maybe the Navajo had the right idea, after all. “Thanks,” he said, his voice rough with tears, despite how he fought the emotion he felt. Overwhelming grief surged up through his chest, creating a huge lump in his throat. He swallowed repeatedly and tried to contain his feelings.

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

Thane shut his eyes. Her soft voice penetrated the wall of pain he was barely holding on to. The firmness of her cool fingers was steadying to him. Taking in a jerky breath, he opened his eyes and stared straight ahead.

“No.”

The word came out flat and controlled. Paige’s hand left his arm. He felt bereft. Idiotically, Thane wanted to cry out, throw his arms around her and hold her tight against him, sobbing and screaming out his pain against her soft, rounded breasts.

Stunned by that reaction, he withdrew deep inside himself. He saw Paige step back. The look on her face told him he’d hurt her with his blunt refusal of her help. Damn. She was the last person he meant to hurt right now. Moving his mouth, he tried to apologize, but nothing came out. All he could feel was the grief that was ready to avalanche downward.

“Let me call Dr. Briggs. He wanted to know when you awoke.”

“Wait!”

Paige jerked to a halt. She turned. Thane’s eyes were filled with darkness. The grief, the need to cry, was etched in every line of his face. It took everything Paige had not to automatically wrap her arms around him, hold him and let him cry. That was what he needed, she realized. The tears glimmered in his eyes. He looked away, as if ashamed that she’d seen them.

“Yes?”

“Paige…I…hell, I’m feeling pretty upset right now. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

The forgiving smile that blossomed across her full lips was more than he deserved in the aftermath of his apology, Thane realized as he watched her hungrily. Paige was the only person he knew here. The only person he wanted to know. She represented a safe harbor to him, emotionally. The only safe one.

“I’m used to people being in pain and barking like angry dogs, so don’t worry about it. Pain makes a person grumpy. Okay?”

Thane ruthlessly looked her up and down. Did she mean it? Or was her response just empty words designed to make him feel better? No, Paige was telling the truth. Thane could see how every emotion she felt could be read in her face. In that way, she hadn’t changed much, from what he recalled. She was one of those people who couldn’t hide her true feelings. Even now, she didn’t try to. Thane marveled at that. Life had taught him to hide beneath a mask most of the time.

“Okay,” he said, his voice raspy with emotion. “You’re the only friend I’ve got here. I don’t want to chase you away by being a grump.”

Touched, Paige felt her lips curve deeply. “I’m honored to be considered your friend.” And she was. Johnny had said no one would ever want her—not even as a friend. Maybe he was wrong? Her heart rose with hope.

Thane knew that the Navajo valued friendship a lot more than most people. Being considered a friend was like being adopted into the family. He managed a broken smile. “From what I understand, you’re going to have to put up with me when I get out of this place, until I can get back on my feet.”

She placed her damp, cool hand on the doorknob. “Yes. You’re stuck with me, I’m afraid. Judy has fixed up the guest bedroom for me to stay in. I work part-time over at her house, anyway. She’s so busy with the ranch that she needs me to take care of the house for her on weekends.” She didn’t add that Judy needed the help and couldn’t afford a cowhand. Because Judy had been tireless in her efforts to help the Navajo poor, this was Paige’s way of thanking the woman for her generosity toward Paige’s people.

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