Courtney Litz - Live From New York, It's Lena Sharpe

www.millsandboon.co.uk

For Mom, Dad and Paige

Special thanks to:

My parents, Edward and Mary Litz,

and my sister, Paige Litz.

And:

Josh Horowitz, Alexandra Bresnan,

Charlotte Morgan, Renee Kaplan, Jennifer Cohan

and Sarah Jones.

Also:

My sincere thanks to Isabel Swift, Margaret Marbury

and Farrin Jacobs for their encouragement

and invaluable editorial guidance.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Do you ever have those moments when you wonder how the many twists and turns in your life have brought you to a particular (usually disappointing) juncture? This was one of those moments.

5,4,3,2,1…Rolling

Cue Music—

Kelly Karaway, Host: Hello and welcome to Face to Face. I’m your host, Kelly Karaway. Each week for our special segment, “Reinventions,” we spotlight a different celebrity as you’ve never seen them before. Last week, we saddled up our horse and joined your favorite heartthrob and mine, Harrison Ford, as he gave us a private peek at his other starring role—as a Montana cattle rancher. Boy, that was worth suffering a few saddle sores for, wasn’t it, ladies! And this week, we’ve got a special treat for all you guys out there! You know her as the breakout WB star and four-time Maxim cover girl, but tonight on “Reinventions,” we’ll show you how actress Sienna Skye has reinvented her spirituality. Hello and welcome, Ms. Sienna Skye!

Sienna Skye: Thanks, Kelly. It’s so great to be here.

Kelly Karaway: This past year has been a crazy one for you, hasn’t it? Tell us, if you can, what is it like to be Sienna Skye?

Sienna Skye: Well, it’s very, very difficult. I’ll be honest with you, Kelly, when I’m working, I’m just giving and giving, and sometimes I just feel like I don’t have anything left, you know? Like when I was playing Cassidy—

Kelly Karaway: Excuse me, Sienna, I just need to explain to the audience in case they’ve been in a coma for the last six months—Cassidy was your character in the WB movie of the week, Cassidy’s Crisis and she was both a stripper and a single mom.

Sienna Skye: That’s right. And you know, Kelly, sometimes I would come home from the set and I would be so immersed in the character that I would just feel like I was a stripper, you know…

Kelly Karaway: Mmm, that’s fascinating, Sienna.

Sienna Skye: And so when Rafe asked me to chant with him…

Kelly Karaway: And Rafe would be…

Sienna Skye: He’s my colorist, but he’s also just so much more to me, Kelly. Anyway, Rafe introduced me to Buddhism and that has made all the difference.

Kelly Karaway: That’s just fascinating Sienna, really. So what is it about Buddhism that works for you? Can you explain it?

Sienna Skye: I feel like, well, I feel like I can breathe again. Buddha, he’s just my number one guy right now.

Kelly Karaway: Oh, that’s so beautiful I can’t even stand it. Thank you so much for sharing that with us, Sienna, really. And today, we’ve got a special treat for all our viewers because Sienna’s going to show us her extensive and exquisite collection of Buddha figures!

Sienna Skye: That’s right.

[Wide shot as camera pans across Buddha display.]

Kelly Karaway: Now, I absolutely adore this one. Look at those shiny eyes!

[Close-up on Buddha.]

Sienna Skye: Well, that’s a very sentimental one, actually. The eyes are made from sequins taken from my stripper costume in Cassidy’s Crisis.

Kelly Karaway: That is fascinating, Sienna. Sal, could you just move in for a close-up on this one, please… Oh, for Christ sake, Cut! Who put this glass of water here? Lena! Who the hell’s in charge here?

CUT

“Lena! Lena! Stop daydreaming!”

I was deep into a conversation with Martin Scorsese and Joan Didion, so I didn’t hear Sal yelling at me. Marty was after me to see his newest film and Joan just couldn’t stop raving about my latest think piece for the Sunday Times. Such a sweetheart, that Joan.

“Hey, Lena, you gotta clean this crap up. I don’t got all day here,” Sal, and I don’t mean Salman Rushdie, barked at me between bites of his pastrami sandwich.

And that’s when I started wondering: How did I get here? To this moment? How had all the events in my life added up to this? In theory, I was a television producer working on a location shoot in downtown Manhattan. In reality, I had been rearranging a TV starlet’s glittering Buddhas for the past four hours. This schism between “what should be” and “what is” has proven to be, shall we say, a major theme in my life so far.

“Here, hold this cable, Lena. We’re gonna do some close-ups on Sienna. I want to get a good shot of her stomach.” Sal eagerly hoisted a tangle of wires onto my lap and went in for his shot. The stomach in question, which by all accounts did not look wide enough to actually contain vital organs, belonged to up-and-coming actress/model/singer/spokesperson and all around “it” girl, Sienna Skye.

At this particular moment, Ms. Sienna Skye was doing her very best to fan the flame of her generally agreed upon fabulousness. I watched her now as she preened for the camera to the delight and amazement of the crew. Of course, anything that she might think to do right now would very likely be deemed exquisite/otherworldly/magical, and just absolutely right. You see, this was Sienna Skye’s moment.

“Guys, I’m going to go make a quick change. This tube top would look better in pink, don’t you think?” Sienna chirped as Sal and the rest of the crew looked at her slack-jawed, their line of vision matching up exactly with the tube top in question. “Okay, I’ll be right back.” She hopped down from her perch and scampered off to her dressing room.

“All right,” Sal tried to collect himself, “Nina, where are you? Nina?”

“Lena?” I asked.

“Uh, yeah, of course that’s what I meant.” Sal looked annoyed. “Listen, you’re about Sienna’s size. Get up there and stand in her place so we can fix the lighting.”

“Sure,” I said, noting the crew’s palpable disappointment. “She’s coming right back, you guys.” They didn’t seem comforted. It was true—I was about Sienna’s size—only my chest was a few inches flatter, my skin was a few shades paler, and my hair was a few tones darker than her platinum locks. Essentially, I could be Sienna’s “before” picture in a makeover story.

Sienna and I did have at least one thing in common, I thought to myself as I did my best impression of a hot young ingénue—Arch back! Suck in stomach! No, I didn’t dream of a Playboy pictorial or my own line of lingerie, but just like Sienna, I had come to New York looking for something bigger than what I had left behind.

Mine was a tale as old as Dreiser and as new as Felicity: Small town girl moves to the big city to grab her slice of the pie and a little bit of glamour on the side. Her parents fear for her safety, she fears for her bank account, but most of all, she waits for her turn to come.

My life, I figured, could be divided into three rather distinct phases—BC, DC, and PC. Let me elaborate:

BC: As the letters imply, BC (Before college) was a dark, desolate time in my life’s history. It encompassed a period of small-town ennui mixed with a difficult blend of adolescent angst and general alienation from my fellow peer group, a perplexing herd who expressed a troubling contentment with pep rallies and jobs at the mall. Overall impression—melancholic.