Julianna Morris - Tick Tock Goes The Baby Clock

She’d been edgy for hours, and Max remembered she’d mentioned having something to discuss. Obviously, it was something that made her self-conscious, and he wondered what it might be. Since she’d already reassured him about his grandmother’s health, it probably wasn’t about Grace.

“Let’s take a walk,” he suggested. “I haven’t been down on the old levee for years.”

“Oh…okay.” Annie waited in the yard while he went into Grace’s house to say they would be gone for a while. When he came out, they followed an overgrown path toward the river. Along this section of the river the road wasn’t built on the levee, so there was a wide place on the top for easy walking.

Annie loved this time of the day, when the sun rested gold and mellow above the horizon and the world seemed to be holding its breath. It was still hot, but in the endless moments before sunset, the heat resonated through your body and no longer seemed an imposition. You were part of the land, knowing the evening would soon cool, but in the meantime your senses were tuned to each call of a katydid and the lazy swish of the river.

“I keep forgetting how beautiful it is here,” Max commented after a long silence.

“Maybe because you couldn’t wait to leave.” As soon as the words were out, Annie winced. Lord, she had a big mouth.

Max looked at her. He wasn’t smiling, but he didn’t seem angry. “And you were only interested in staying. That was the biggest difference between us.”

“It’s a good place, Max. A wonderful place to raise children and make a life.”

“I guess. But you’ve never had kids.”

She should have expected him to say something like that, but it still caught her off guard. “No, I didn’t.” Despite her best efforts, the words came out sounding choked.

“Annie, what’s wrong? You’ve been tense all afternoon.”

She took a deep breath. It was the time to ask, but she was having second thoughts about asking Max to help her. He was too busy with his architectural firm and his city life. Anyway, how could he understand?

No one understood.

Girls in small towns were just as experienced and sexually aware as the ones in big towns. But somehow Annie had just gotten left behind.

She dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands and tried to decide what was more important—her pride or the need to change her life.

“Come on, Annie. You can talk to me. We used to talk about everything.”

Yeah, right, she thought, rolling her eyes. She adored Max, but there were times when he had the sensitivity of a brick. He didn’t like talking about personal stuff, which was something she’d always respected. Over the years keeping things on a breezy, comfortable level with him had become second nature.

“Whatever it is, just say it,” he encouraged. “Maybe I can help.”

Annie wet her lips with the tip of her tongue. She might as well jump right in before she totally lost her nerve. “Well…actually, you might be some help. I, er, wondered if you’d…that is, I wondered if you’d kind of advise me about…attracting a man.”

Max stared, and it looked as if his face was turning red beneath his naturally tanned skin. But she couldn’t be sure. One of the great blessings of Max’s Native American blood—next to his incredible good looks—was that no one could really tell if he was embarrassed enough to blush.

“You want me to…what?”

She took a deep breath and tried to sound very practical and reasonable. “Advise me. You know, tell me the right clothes to wear. Teach me about what kind of makeup and perfume men prefer. I could ask one of my friends, but I figure you could save time by avoiding ideas that aren’t right. Maybe we could even do a…a practice date. Or something. Of course I’d pay for everything.”

Max didn’t say anything, just kept staring.

“Okay. We wouldn’t have to do the date thing,” Annie said hastily. “But the clothes and stuff would help. And maybe teaching me the right things to say.”

“What the hell for?”

Annoyance flashed through her chest, strengthening her resolve. Why did most women want to attract a man? “I want to get married.”

“Jeez.” Max raked his fingers through his hair, looking more frustrated than she’d ever seen him. “Every woman I know wants to get married. They’re batty about the subject. Did you all join a club?”

For the first time in her life, Annie understood why a woman would slap a man’s face—it was because of his incredible denseness and stupidity.

“Forget it,” she snapped.

“Now, wait—”

“No. I’m not waiting any longer. I can’t.”

Turning on her heel, Annie stomped down the levee. Men were insufferable. Maybe she shouldn’t think about getting married. Maybe she should adopt a child. Adoption was possible. Single women were able to adopt children these days, though it was still harder than if you were married. And that was plenty hard enough.

Yet deep in Annie’s heart she knew adoption wasn’t what she wanted. Maybe it was selfish, but she wanted to have a baby. Life was a miracle, whether it was a baby chick breaking out of its shell, or a baby growing inside her womb. And if she didn’t do something about it now she’d never be a part of that miracle.

“Annie. Stop.”

Her stride faltered. In the distance was a spreading oak tree. It grew in the rich loam of delta soil, drinking river water through its long roots, surviving even the worst of droughts. She’d cried and dreamed under that tree her entire life, and she didn’t want to share it with Max, not today.

“Wait.” Max caught her arm, dragging her around to a halt. “All right, I’m sorry I overreacted. Let’s talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Obviously, there is.”

They faced each other, both angry in their own way. Distantly Annie remembered what she should have remembered before, that Max didn’t trust marriage. He saw his parents as two people who’d spent their lives choosing and discarding spouses with less regard than most people use to buy and sell a car. But he blamed marriage for his mother and father’s mistakes, not their failure to choose well.

“Just forget it,” Annie said after a long moment.

She tore her gaze away from Max and stared at the river. It was a green body of water that seemed to move tranquilly through the wide channel. But it wasn’t tranquil, it was a deep, strong river with currents that were deadly if you weren’t careful. A lot like life, her father used to say.

“Annie…” Max murmured helplessly. “It just shocked me, especially that part about attracting a man.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I’m sorry the idea of me being attractive is so shocking.”

“Dammit. That’s not what I meant. I’ve always thought you were pretty.”

“What a wonderful affirmation of my sexual appeal.”

“Will you stop twisting my words?” He reached down and grabbed a rock, flinging it as hard and fast as he could out into the river. The humor, usually so evident in his face, was missing, leaving only darkness.

Annie sighed.

This really wasn’t Max’s fault. And she wasn’t so much angry, she was scared. The doctor said she only had a few months to make a decision about having a family. She’d always thought that someday she’d meet the perfect man and they’d start a family—like fate or karma unwinding into its proper place. But that ideal “someday” didn’t have time limits, and she did.

“I don’t get it,” Max said, making a visible attempt at calmness. “You’re an attractive woman. You must have had plenty of chances to get married.”

Annie pushed her fingers inside the pockets of her jeans and shrugged. “Mitchellton is a farm community. People get married young around here. With Dad being sick and all, I never…dated much. Then later most of the guys in our class were already married or gone.”