Cathleen Connors - A Home Of Her Own

Though her face remained a perfect mask of composure, Buck could feel Melodie tremble. The piercing look he gave her coaxed an abbreviated explanation from her.

“Let’s just say she wasn’t glad to see me.”

The good manners Grace had taught him did not desert Buck now. It hadn’t been all that long ago when the fine folk of this town had ostracized him. He recalled how Grace and Melodie had both stood beside him, stubbornly refusing to listen to the rumors people circulated about him. Labeled a born troublemaker, he remembered only too well how it felt to be treated like an outsider. It had taken three full winters of shoveling Cora Linn’s sidewalk for free before she finally accepted that he wasn’t going to slit Grace’s throat in her sleep and run off with all her valuables. Not that she had any.

“I’ve charted these waters before,” Buck told Melodie with a wry smile as he scanned the room for approaching sharks. “Why don’t you let me help you navigate them today?”

Stiffening against Buck’s touch, Melodie kept her back ramrod straight and fought the urge to lean against him for support. How strange that those same neighbors who once labeled him trash were now trying to protect him from her! The hard glances directed at her from among those gathered today were clearly as much for Buck’s benefit as for the deceased. Perhaps they thought by casting stones at her, they were showing support for the man she had jilted so long ago.

The irony was laughable. Melodie remembered how long it had taken Buck to penetrate the conservative, cautious nature of those ranchers who clung as tenaciously to their land as to their values. That he had somehow been elevated to a high rank within the church that had made her feel treasured in her youth came as quite a surprise. As she recalled, Buck used to feel about organized religion the same way she had come to regard it. Years of self-inflicted heartache pointed to the likelihood that God was an invention of a patriarchal society designed to keep their members alternately lashing themselves with whips of guilt and shame.

Everyone who came to the services made a point of stopping by to offer Buck their condolences. While many expressed sympathy for Melodie, others used the opportunity to reveal their contempt by ignoring her completely or giving her scornful looks that said they were swayed neither by the fancy talk nor big dollars that had once wooed her away. They did, however, seemed impressed with the man Buck had become. A staunch friend to each and every one of them in an emergency. The son poor Grace never had.

“You sure couldn’t tell that blood’s thicker than water by the shameful way that girl treated her mother,” pronounced Phyllis Brockridge as she added yet another cookie to the neat pile on her plate. Although directed at her equally chubby sister, the comment was loud enough for Melodie to overhear.

Buck knew it wasn’t deliberate. Mrs. Brockridge was hard of hearing and thought no one could hear her unless they were standing right beside her. Acknowledging her with a neighborly nod of his head, Buck called the old woman over.

“It was awful nice of you to come today, Phyllis. You were a good friend to Grace, and I know she would appreciate any kindness you could show to her daughter while she’s here. You do remember Melodie, don’t you?”

A flush of crimson climbed over the woman’s white collar at the subtle reproof. “Yes, of course,” she said, balancing her plate with one hand and extending the other to Melodie. “So nice to have you home—at last.”

Melodie thanked the woman for coming. Perhaps being seen talking politely to one of the town’s most influential citizens would take some of the chill out of the room. She knew only too well that many people had taken offense at the perception that she had tossed Buck over for a big-shot engineer who whisked her out of state just as fast as he could after their justice of the peace ceremony. When Grace became ill and her only daughter didn’t come rushing home for so much as a holiday visit, their disapproval hardened to rocklike condemnation. The judgmental souls who populated the Friendly Valley of Warm Winds would not easily forgive such disloyalty.

That Buck would so chivalrously come to stand beside this traitor in their midst was a surprise to everyone.

Especially him.

Melodie was sure Buck’s actions merely confirmed to the churchgoers among the group what an upstanding Christian he had become despite all the many obstacles life had put in his way.

“Lean on me if you’re feeling faint,” Buck instructed, his voice a sultry command that sapped Melodie of the remaining strength she had intended to use to walk out of this rattlesnake pit. She was secretly longing to take refuge in those strong arms, and her knees wobbled beneath that tempting suggestion.

Pride was all that kept her standing on her own two feet.

“The absolute last thing I want from you is pity, Buck Foster,” she whispered angrily,

“That’s not what I’m feeling right now,” he murmured into her ear.

The warmth of his breath against her neck raised goose bumps beneath the sleeves of her black satin dress.

“Revenge, then?” she guessed warily.

Buck’s eyes revealed neither pity nor revenge. Instead what Melodie glimpsed within their golden depths left her quaking beneath the hitherto unthinkable possibility of restoring a relationship with the man she had never been able to stop loving. It was akin to straddling a fault line and hearing the ground rumble beneath her feet. On second thought, being swallowed whole into the bowels of the earth was less frightening than what Melodie was feeling at the moment.

She had to stop looking in his eyes. She had to remember where she was and for what purpose.

Melodie strove to remind him thickly, “This is neither the proper time nor place to—”

“Relax, Mel. Relying on me for a few minutes during a stressful time shouldn’t compromise you much.”

The hint of a smile toyed with the corners of her mouth. “I suppose you’re right. And I obviously don’t have to worry about compromising my reputation with any of the good folk here either.”

Buck raised a wicked eyebrow. “We could always give them something to talk about.”

“Haven’t we given them enough in the past?”

Buck’s teasing left Melodie feeling no longer chilled. If this unexpected flurry of brash attention was intended as a diversion to help her get through the next hour of agony, it was working wonderfully. Even in somber garb, devoid of makeup, and wearing her hair in a style befitting a spinster, Melodie felt more aware of her femininity than she had in all five years of her marriage. That she could feel anything but numb at such a sorrowful time was shocking.

It occurred to her that Buck might just be setting her up for some kind of public humiliation. Surely it was too much to expect forgiveness from one whom she had hurt so badly. To simply wish away one’s mistakes. To imagine something beautiful coming from the smoldering ashes of their love.

Pulling her eyes away from his, Melodie forced herself to think rationally. For heaven’s sake, if a single, respectful arm around her waist provoked such feelings, what would happen if she actually succumbed to the urge to tuck his other arm securely around her, lean up against that granite-hard body and allow another human being to be strong for her for a change?

Like forsaking all reason and attempting to fly off a cliff by simply flapping one’s arms, she figured.

Melodie decided that she liked it better when Buck was mean to her. At least then she knew what to expect of him—and of herself.

“I don’t know about you,” Buck drawled softly into her ear, “but I’ve had just about enough of polite society as I can stand for one day. What do you say I go get the vehicle and pick you up out front?”