Abigail Gordon - Country Midwife, Christmas Bride

But the length of time it remained empty was often an indication of the depth of the loss. It brought with it a steadfast loving faithfulness that was a barrier to any other relationships.

Memories of Richard were so clear and tender there was no way she wanted any other man to hold her close in the night or sit across the table from her at mealtimes. As for the baby she’d lost, there were moments when she envied a radiant mother as she placed her child in her arms, but it was also like balm to her soul every time she brought a newborn safely into the world.

Unlike the man in the surgery next door, her life was only half-full, but she’d learned to live with that, she always told herself when she was feeling low. Though was half a life better than none, she sometimes wondered.

It seemed that James lived by a different set of rules from hers. In the middle of his busy life he had found time to show her an impersonal sort of kindness that was heart-warming, and she was going to repay him by making his dream of a maternity clinic in the village an efficient reality.

She spent the rest of the morning unpacking deliveries of stationery and medical supplies, and at lunchtime went across to the Hollyhocks Tea Rooms for a quick bite. It was a luxury she knew she would probably have to forego when things got busy at the unit, but she had the next few days to settle in at her own pace before the grand opening on Friday, when as well as the Derringhams some of the bigwigs from St Gabriel’s would be there.

James appeared again just before his afternoon surgery was about to commence and said, ‘How’s it going? I thought we might have seen you at lunchtime. If you remember, I said that you’re welcome to join us whenever you feel the need.’

‘Yes, I know,’ she told him, ‘but I thought you might be feeling you’ve seen enough of me for one day.’

‘I’m not with you,’ he said, and then laughed. ‘Ah, you mean Daisy. Don’t give it another thought. My mother was born and bred in the countryside but she was nervous if they came too near, and she would never go within a mile of a pig sty.’

He was making it up as he went along because he didn’t want this newcomer with hair in a long golden plait and a clear violet gaze to have any reason to regret having moved to the beautiful village where he’d been born.

She’d positively sparkled when she’d seen the new clinic for the first time, but for the rest of it she seemed rather subdued and he wondered what went on in her life.

Yet did that matter? If Lizzie was as good as she was said to be, he couldn’t ask for more and with that in mind he said, ‘Would you be prepared to come back this evening for a couple of hours while I put you in the picture regarding our present antenatal arrangements and pass on to you the medical notes of the expectant mothers at presently under our care, who will be transferred from the surgery to the new clinic?

‘As you know, we are a doctor and nurse short at the moment, with David and Laurel on honeymoon, which means that I have no spare time during the day,’ he explained, ‘otherwise I wouldn’t break into your evening. We could have met at my place or yours, I suppose, but as a matter of protocol I wouldn’t want patients’ records to leave the surgery.’

‘I don’t mind in the least,’ she said immediately. ‘I have plenty of time on my hands. I’ve been going for a stroll and then having an early night, so I’m not going to be missing anything.’

It was there again, he thought. A solitariness that was so different from his own life. He was surrounded by people he cared for, and who cared for him.

If time for himself was hard to come by, so what? The children were happy and healthy, and the pain of losing Julie was lessening as the years went by, yet it would never go away completely because she wasn’t going to see her children grow up, and that was always what hurt the most.

Lizzie was waiting for him to finish what he’d started and bringing his mind back to the present he said, ‘Would eight o’clock suit you? The children will be asleep by then. I don’t think they’ll need much persuasion as the first day of a new school year is always exhausting for everyone concerned, and Helen is there to keep an eye on them.’

He was checking the time. The waiting room was filling up.

‘Yes, eight o’clock will be fine,’ she told him.

‘Right, I’ll see you, then,’ he said briskly, and off he went, hoping that the pride of St Gabriel’s maternity services wasn’t thinking that he was overdoing the getting-to-know-you routine.

As Lizzie walked home in the late afternoon she was wishing that she hadn’t been quite so eager to fall in with James’s suggestion that they meet again that evening. Anything to do with the new clinic was of paramount importance to her, but she felt as if she needed to get her breath back after such an eventful day of ups and downs, the downs issuing from her continuing mortification over the cow episode, and the ups a deep satisfaction with the arrangements of the clinic. Not to mention what had happened when she’d gone to the Hollyhocks Tea Rooms for her lunch.

Emma, the usually rosy-cheeked wife of the partnership who owned the place, had said hesitantly, ‘Is it you that’s going to be in charge of the new baby clinic that’s opening on Friday?’

‘Yes, it’s me,’ Lizzie replied, wondering what was coming next.

‘I think I’m pregnant,’ Emma had said. ‘I’ve done a test that I bought from the chemist and it was positive. So can I come to see you?’

‘Of course,’ she’d said, smiling at her across the counter. ‘That’s what I’m going to be there for. Is it your first baby?’

‘Yes, and we just can’t believe it. We’ve been married a long time and had almost given up hope.’

‘So how about coming in on Friday after the opening and being my first patient?’

‘I’d love to be that! Simon is over the moon. He’s been getting all the recipes mixed up this morning, so watch out for salt instead of sugar in your apple crumble,’ she’d warned laughingly.

On the whole the ups had far outweighed the downs and she wanted it to stay that way, but there had been a slight lift of the eyebrow when she’d impulsively told James that she had plenty of time on her hands, as if he found it hard to believe that anyone could be in that position, and the last thing she wanted was to arouse his curiosity.

She was getting on with her life the best way she knew how, and providing a useful service to the community took away some of the loneliness that rightly or wrongly she didn’t confide to anyone.

But she’d committed herself to returning to the clinic that evening and when she gave her word about anything, she kept it.

The children were full of their first day at school when James came in from the surgery that evening, or rather Pollyanna was. Jolyon was his usual self and his contribution to the discussion was that their new teacher had said he had a funny name.

‘She said unusual, not funny,’ Pollyanna corrected him, ‘and that she thought it was very nice.’

‘It means the same,’ he protested, ignoring the last bit, ‘and why isn’t any other kid called the same as me, Daddy? Why am I not called Sam or Tom?’

Jess had given them their evening meal and was standing in the doorway of the dining room ready to leave, but she paused and said in a low voice, ‘The teacher was just trying to be nice, but as we know Jolly has a mind of his own.’

James nodded and, taking Jolyon to one side, said to him, ‘There was a boy in my class at school who didn’t like his name because he was the only one who had it, but as he grew older he began to change his mind because everyone was envious that he had such a super name and wished that theirs wasn’t Sam or Tom.’