Robyn Amos - Hero At Large

Gray clapped Seth on the back, partially as a friendly gesture of farewell and partially to urge him to the door faster. “Where in the secret spy handbook does it say that a good agent is sleep deprived?”

Seth grinned. “Right under the paragraph where it says all uniforms worn in the line of duty will be itchy and at least one size too small.” He tugged irritably at his collar.

After Seth left, Gray considered going back to sleep, but he was entirely too restless to relax. He went into his bedroom and spread the contents of the envelope across his desk. There were pictures and bios of all the major drug lords in L.A. Several of them, Gray had already had dealings with.

Eventually, the connections Gray was making would lead him to SPEAR’s nemesis. They’d been tracking him for some time and were making slow but steady progress. They knew the traitor was going by the name Simon. Other agents had connected him to both the Brotherhood of Blood, a hate group in Idaho, and to terrorists in the Middle East. Most recently, a SPEAR operative encountered Simon in the flesh, giving them a face to go with the name.

Gray’s mission wasn’t simple, but he hoped to dispose of Simon once and for all. He couldn’t let Jonah down.

Jonah was the head of SPEAR and had been for as long as anyone could remember. Only no one had ever gotten the chance to look Jonah in the eye. To most SPEAR agents, he was a voice and a reputation.

But when he gave orders, no one dared question them.

Now that Gray had made a name for himself in the L.A. drug trade, it wouldn’t be long before Simon came to him.

Gray pulled out his laptop and connected it to a secured cable modem. He logged onto the SPEAR ISP, intending to send e-mail inquiries regarding his new contact list. Instead he found himself typing the name Rennie Williams into an encrypted search engine. In all the years he’d been an agent, he’d always managed to resist the urge to check into Rennie’s whereabouts. He’d squashed that compulsion by reminding himself that he was better off not knowing any details.

But now that he’d seen her face to face and looked into those soft brown eyes, he had to know the full story. She was a psychologist. That didn’t surprise him. She’d always had a huge heart and a deep concern for others.

In less than ten seconds, Gray had a full-page printout on Rennie. He stared at the sheet of paper, then crumpled it up and threw it in the wastebasket.

What was he doing? He couldn’t see her again. Especially not now. In her mind he was a criminal. A former gang member who had lived up to all of society’s expectations for him. He’d moved from a life of street violence to the ever-popular country club of crime, the state penitentiary.

She had no idea that her leaving him was probably the only thing that saved him from that inevitable reality. Rennie couldn’t know that she’d inspired him to escape, as well, to flee their destitute neighborhood of hopelessness and poverty just the way she had.

When Rennie left for school, he’d been bitter. Hadn’t she trusted him? Hadn’t she believed him when he’d promised to find a way out for both of them? Gray had asked himself those questions time and again. But the feelings of hurt and anger hadn’t lasted. Once they’d faded, Gray had been left with an almost desperate desire to prove that he could get out, too.

Soon after Rennie left, Gray’s mother had been taken by the cancer that had been eating away at her life and spirit for almost a decade. He had no more ties in the neighborhood. He no longer had an excuse for staying with the gang. After a couple of months of aimless wandering, he joined the United States Marines.

That move changed his life forever. He’d shown a natural talent for most things he’d tried. And it wasn’t long before his intelligence and skills had gotten him noticed by an exclusive, invisible government agency, SPEAR. He passed their rigorous testing process and was recruited.

He was a secret agent with boyhood images of fighting terrorists and busting up political conspiracies. Only Gray’s first assignment had sent him right back to the streets of south central L.A.

He jumped right into the middle of an illegal arms dealing operation, got the authorities all the information they needed and then was publicly arrested right along with the others. He spent two weeks in jail to solidify his cover and then was shipped off to his next assignment.

But those two weeks in jail changed him like no other life experience could. The world he became privy to in that short time made him all the more determined to keep fighting what seemed to be a never-ending war against crime. It chilled him to his soul, because if it weren’t for the grace of God, he might have filled those shoes in reality. The fact that he was inside for the good guys made that truth all the more poignant.

Growing up, he’d heard all the speeches from the ministers and do-gooders in the community. They especially loved the sound bite that black men in the inner city were an endangered species. In danger of succumbing to gangs, crime, violence, prison and ultimately death because society didn’t have enough good role models for the urban black male.

That line never meant much to Gray until he went to prison, but then he got a close look at what society had discarded. Men who’d never had any hope or belief that they could be anything more than what they were. And in just two weeks’ time, even though he was in jail under pretense, he began to get sucked into that world of hopelessness. He’d felt the black hand of despair reaching out to him. It had had him by the collar and would have had him by the throat if he hadn’t been transferred so quickly.

Even though his next assignment had him drinking champagne at political dinners as an African diplomat trying to smooth over a potential international incident, he never forgot what it felt like to be in prison. It was a lesson he used daily to remind himself that there was no room in his life for screwups.

When Rennie left L.A. nine years ago, the chances of her returning permanently had been slim at best. But after receiving her Ph.D. in psychology, Rennie surprised herself by turning down a teaching position at the University of Texas for an opportunity to set up her own practice. And it just happened to be six blocks from her old neighborhood.

The Los Angeles Help Center was a three-story apartment building that had been turned over to the community. Inside were offices offering a variety of social services, including family planning, addiction and crisis counseling and Rennie’s women’s counseling practice. The Help Center attracted some difficult clients, but during the past year, she’d found the work truly rewarding.

Rennie sank further into her wing chair as Sarita and the other women in her counseling session argued. The clock on the far wall read twenty past four. She should have broken up this heated disagreement a long time ago, but she’d been a bit distracted today.

“I don’t care what you say,” Sarita said. “Farah is not breaking up with Will. She’s just taking time to figure out what she wants.”

Jackie crossed her heavy arms over her substantial bosom. “Will is history. Get used to it. Now that Farah knows her daughter Lily is having Will’s baby, there’s no way she’s going to take him back.” Even under the best circumstances, Jackie didn’t have a forgiving nature. This was probably the reason men feared her.

“Well, I think it’s about time she got rid of that bum,” Moni said. “Everyone can see that Brock is in love with Farah. Once he recovers from his liver transplant, he’s going to tell her how he feels.” Moni had always believed that love conquered all, which explained why she focused her energy on keeping a man instead of keeping a job.