Karen Smith - The Bracelet

Right about driving himself too hard, working too much, caring little about his health as long as he’d gotten everything done in a day that he’d planned. “I should have signed up for that gym membership you suggested.” He attempted to give her a smile but didn’t quite pull it off.

She looked surprised, as if that wasn’t what she’d expected.

Keep it on the surface, he warned himself. Don’t make matters worse. “What happens next?” he asked again.

“You have a catheterization in the morning. Till then, you need to rest. Don’t think about anything you shouldn’t.”

Like reporters in their front yard? Like the condemnation he’d surely see in Sean’s eyes after his son read the article?

Don’t think about it. Bury it. Like the past.

As Brady floated in a fuzzy haze, he knew he wasn’t going to dig everything up again. It didn’t matter what anybody thought, including his son. As he’d told Laura, Sean would prefer to believe the worst. If they just let everything die down—

Today’s news was tomorrow’s garbage. Vietnam was old news. He was not going to unearth memories better off left buried, unearth feelings so claustrophobic they choked him.

His heart was beating harder. Laura wasn’t quite in focus….

The sliding glass door opened and a nurse hurried in. “Ten minutes are up,” she said kindly. “But you can return in an hour.”

“Our son or daughter will be visiting then.”

Brady squeezed her hand. “You come back.”

“It’s important the kids see you.”

“Kat,” he agreed.

“Sean, too. It’ll be okay, Brady. I promise.”

Okay? He didn’t believe that for a minute.

Laura leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips.

He was almost relieved when she left. Closing his eyes, he willed his heart not to hurt any more than it already did.

When his mom entered the waiting room, Sean stopped pacing. “What’s going on?” he asked, anxious to know his dad was still alive. No matter what his mom said, his dad’s collapse was his fault.

She mustered up a little smile. “Your father opened his eyes a couple of times and he even talked to me. We have to believe he’s strong enough to pull through. He’s going to need our support and—”

“Aunt Pat!” Kat jumped up from the sofa where she’d been paging through a magazine and ran to her aunt. “Did you hear? Dad had a heart attack!”

In the doorway Pat put her arms around her niece and gave her a long hug. At the same time, she glanced at Laura. “Has anything changed since you called me? I just got your message.”

Aunt Pat, his dad’s sister, was a real estate agent. Divorced, she’d never had kids, but she was nice enough, even if she did have silicone boobs and sprayed hair. She was supernice to Kat, had even invited her on a shopping trip to New York last summer. She’d given him a hundred dollars his last birthday, and that was way cool.

“He’s scheduled for a catheterization at 7:00 a.m.,” his mother responded.

“Can anyone visit him?”

“Ten minutes on the hour.”

“I won’t take that time away from you. He’ll know I’m pulling for him. I always have.”

Sean wondered what that meant. The realization dawned that he really didn’t know a lot about his parents—not really. Apparently they had secrets.

“If you’re going to be here through the night, I can drive the kids back to your place and stay with them until morning if you’d like,” his aunt offered.

Sean didn’t have to be told that a heart cath was serious stuff. “I’m not leaving. I’ll stay here.”

Aunt Pat studied him as if he were a kid. “There’s nothing you can do here.”

“I’m staying.” When he checked with his mother, he saw she understood.

She understood a lot of things his dad didn’t. But even his mom couldn’t imagine everything he kept inside. He was a disappointment to his parents. He’d never lived up to their expectations. Until he’d been diagnosed with dyslexia, his dad had thought he was lazy, that he didn’t care, that he didn’t try. After all, he wasn’t their real son. Their real son had died, and his father would never forget that. When he looked at him, Sean always felt small, as if he’d never measure up. Maybe he wouldn’t.

After all, his biological mother had given him away. He’d had the guts to finally ask questions when he was around ten. He’d learned she couldn’t care for him, and she hadn’t even known who his father was! He had no desire to find her or meet her. He had a mother. He didn’t need another one. And since his father’s identity was a mystery…Brady Malone was his dad and they were stuck with each other.

“Mom, should I go with Aunt Pat?” Kat asked.

“That’s up to you, honey. You’ll only be five to ten minutes away. I can call if anything happens.”

“What do you mean if anything happens?” Kat sounded afraid. “Dad’s not going to die. He’ll be all right, won’t he? You said he will.”

Laura went to Kat now, too, and draped an arm around her shoulders. “We have to believe he will.”

Sean felt as if he were standing in the middle of nowhere, all alone, the way he always was.

Kat’s eyes were wet now and tears dripped down her face. “I don’t want to stay here. I don’t want to smell these awful smells and see all these sick people.”

Usually he tolerated his sister. But sometimes…“You’re such a spoiled brat,” Sean muttered before he could help himself.

Kat’s “I am not” protest and Laura’s warning “Sean” hit the air at the same time.

Aunt Pat held her hand up like a referee. “Whoa, everyone. Take a deep breath. Kat, it’s okay if you don’t like the hospital. I don’t, either. If you come home with me, we’ll gather some things for your dad, your mom and Sean. Was this about the article?” she asked, staring at his mom as if what had appeared in the paper was no secret to her.

“Yes,” his mother said softly. “Don’t answer the phone if it rings. I’ll sort through the messages eventually.”

Aunt Pat gave a knowing nod, clasped Kat by the elbow and led her down the hall.

After a few seconds of silence, his mom suggested, “Try to be a little understanding with your sister right now. She’s only fourteen.”

“And most of the time she acts like ten.”

His mom’s face was drawn as she told him, “We all have our own way of coping. Yours and Kat’s are different.”

His way of coping started with shots from those bottles in the toolshed. “How do you cope, Mom? How have you coped all these years knowing what Dad did? How have you lived with that?”

He hadn’t meant to bring the matter up again now, but the questions were doing a slow burn in his stomach. Gary had shown him the article in the paper at baseball practice. Maybe his dad’s heart attack was really about the article being published. But what did he have to do with that?

“Was that article in the paper true or was it a lie? Did he kill women and kids?”

For once in her life his mother was at an absolute loss for words. Finally she answered him. “I know you need to talk about this. I know you have questions. But there are two sides to every story and you have to hear your father’s.”

Maybe a part of him was glad this had happened. Maybe a part of him wanted to kick the pedestal out from under his dad’s feet. But another part…

Sean suddenly realized Kat wouldn’t be here and he’d have to visit his dad alone. Panicked, he asked, “What am I going to say when I go in to see Dad?”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just be with him. Let him know you’re there. If you do want to talk, just tell him you’re sure he can fight through this.”