Debbie Macomber - Between Friends

I hate school. Well, not exactly hate it, but I miss everyone so much. Mostly Nick and you, of course. I’m living in a big dorm and sharing a room with Janice Stewart, a girl from Florida. She seems nice, but she isn’t you. We talk some but we don’t seem to have a lot in common. She doesn’t have a boyfriend back home and doesn’t understand what it is to miss someone the way I miss Nick.

Speaking of Nick, he can’t afford phone calls and he doesn’t want me “wasting” all my allowance on phoning him, so we write nearly every day. Don’t be shocked if I tell you how much I love him. Please don’t be like everyone else. Just be happy for me the way I am for you and Buck.

You asked about my classes, and thus far everything’s going all right, I guess. The classes, especially history, are wonderful, with lots of discussion. If it wasn’t for those I think I’d go nuts. Dad suggested I fulfill all the course requirements in my first year and I followed his advice, but I did sign up for one psychology class, which I’m really enjoying. New York isn’t so bad, either, not the way I thought it would be. Last weekend, Janice and I went into Manhattan and took the ferry over to Ellis Island and climbed the Statue of Liberty.

Gotta scoot, but I promise I’ll write again soon. I hope David likes the baby blanket. It’s handmade (although not by me!).

Love,

Jillian

DEPARTMENT OF THE ARMY

Detachment C, 500th Personnel Services Battalion

Unit 20121

APO AE 09107

ORDERS 65-10 22 December 1966

KNOWLES, DAVID JAMES, 552-02-3776, SFC 587TH SIG CO 9WFTXAA0 APO AE 09131

You will proceed on permanent change of station as shown. Information concerning port call will be provided separately.

You are hereby ordered to report for active duty in Vietnam.

Reporting Date: 26 December 1966

JILLIAN LAWTON

BARNARD COLLEGE

PLIMPTON HALL

NEW YORK, NY 10025

January 16, 1967

Dear Nick,

I know we only said goodbye a few days ago, and already I find myself missing you so much I don’t know how I can possibly go back to school. I can’t bear to be this far away from you! The Christmas holidays were wonderful because of all the time we were able to spend together, despite my parents. You’d think that by now they’d realize you and I are serious.

I’ve always thought of my father as a man of wisdom, but these past three weeks have opened my eyes. Okay, he’s right, you do have a record, but that happened years ago when you were fourteen. Everyone makes mistakes and your record’s been clean ever since. I hate to say this, but my father is a fool.

I don’t want you to feel bad about the argument between me and Dad. It’s been building for a long time. I tried to talk to Mom and she listened, but I know she immediately told my father everything I said. I can’t trust her. The only people I can talk to anymore are you and Lesley. How different all our lives are from just a year ago! Last year at this time the most pressing problem was what theme to choose for the Junior/Senior Prom.

Lesley looked good, don’t you think? I didn’t mind that Buck wasn’t there when we went to visit. Little Davey is a beautiful baby. Holding him made me long for a baby of my own. I’d need to think about who his daddy would be. Any volunteers?

Again, I want you to know that I truly love the medal of the Virgin Mary you gave me. I’ll treasure it forever. It’s especially dear to me because it once belonged to your mother. Every time I miss you, I reach for it and hold it tight and am instantly reassured of your love. It’s on a long chain and falls close to my heart. That’s where you are, even though we can’t be together.

You don’t need to say the words, Nick. I already know how you feel about me because that’s the way I feel about you. I love you, Nick, heart and soul. I don’t care what my parents say. I don’t care what anyone says. I’m crazy in love with you.

I want you to seriously consider what I mentioned on New Year’s Eve. I know Pine Ridge is your home and where your dad’s gas station is, but at least consider moving to New York. Just think of all the money we’d save on phone calls and stamps!! I can’t imagine what life will be like without you for the next three and a half years. I’m not sure I can continue with school if it means we can’t be together.

Promise me you’ll think about it, okay? And write me soon. I live for your letters.

Hugs and kisses,

Jillian

January 27, 1967

My dearest Jillian,

Me move to New York? I thought you were joking when you suggested it earlier, but I can see now that you were serious. Sweetheart, I can’t. Not because it isn’t tempting—I’m here to tell you everything about you tempts me and has since the first moment I saw you. More than anything, I want to be close to you, but Dad needs my help at the gas station. Jimmy’s getting to be a handful, too. He’s fourteen and the kid needs his big brother around to keep an eye on him. Besides, my dad’s working out a deal with one of his buddies who teaches at Bailey’s Trade School to get me my mechanic’s certification. I’ll be taking some night classes. Seeing that I’ve been tinkering with cars since I was twelve, it seems a waste of time for me to go to some school when I already know practically everything there is to know about engines.

But there’s more to my decision than sticking around Pine Ridge to help Jimmy and to work with my dad. Me going to New York wouldn’t be right for us.

We both know what would happen if I found a way for us to be together. First thing, your grades would fall. You’re smart, really smart. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to believe that the valedictorian of Holy Name Academy is dating a hellion like me. The temptation would be too much for us, and that wouldn’t be good for a couple of Catholic kids who have enough trouble keeping their hands off each other. Feeling the way I do about you, I should be canonized! You don’t make it any easier, either. If you think your parents disapprove of me now, you can bet your bottom dollar they’d really hate me if your grades dropped and you turned up pregnant. The last thing I want to do is alienate them completely.

Talking about your parents, I’m going to say something I should’ve said when you were home. Don’t concern yourself with this business between your old man and me. I don’t mean to be a chump, Jillian, but he is your father. Looking at it from his perspective, you have to admit he’s got a point. I have a juvenile police record. Your father wants what’s best for you. It’s my job to prove to him that what’s best for you is me. In other words this is between your dad and me. Not between your dad, you and me. Understand?

In time, I’m going to prove to your parents that I’m worthy of their beautiful daughter. My dad drilled into me a long time ago that anything of lasting value is worth waiting for. You, Jillian, are worth waiting ten lifetimes for.

Another thing, and I know you don’t want to talk about this, but we can’t ignore it any longer. I registered for the draft last year and who knows what’s going to happen with that. My dad’s worried about it and he’s got enough on his plate without me leaving because I want to be with my girl.

I love you heart and soul, too. I love you enough to do what’s right for us, even when it isn’t easy.

Study hard. You’re going to be a terrific lawyer one day.

All my love,

Nick

P.S. God bless the families of Virgil Grissom, Edward White and Roger Chaffee. What a horrible way to die. When I go, I pray it isn’t in a fire.

February 4, 1967

Dear Buck,

I haven’t heard from you since Christmas and I hope everything’s all right. Almost every night the television is filled with stories about what’s going on in Vietnam. Two of the boys in Susan’s class have already decided to enlist as soon as they graduate.