Jackie Braun - The Game Show Bride

“Roaming?” She sucked in a deep breath, swallowing an oath in the process. And to think she’d smiled at him on that first day. It only went to show how sorely lacking her judgment remained when it came to men.

Voice tight, she replied, “I promise to keep them on their leashes.”

“And how can you do that and perform your job?” He didn’t wait for her to reply. “You can’t. Punch out and go home.”

“Punch out and…Am I being fired?”

“No, but this will go in your personnel file. Now it’s my turn to ask, who are you?”

So, the hotshot was determined to hone his reputation at her expense. Between gritted teeth she said, “Kelli Walters. That’s Kelli with an i. Walters is the standard spelling. My middle initial is A.”

“Well, Kelli Walters, you can consider this a warning. Bring your kids to work with you again and you will be punching out for good.”

She was still gaping after him when someone said, “I see you made friends with Mr. Maxwell.”

Kelli turned to find her co-worker, Arlene Hughes, standing behind her. Arlene was two decades older than Kelli’s twenty-eight, with Lucille Ball red hair and the dramatically bowed lips to match. Despite the difference in their ages, the two women had been fast friends since Kelli hired in just after Chloe’s birth.

“Mr. Understanding? Oh, yeah, he’s going to be a load of fun to work for. He makes the last manager seem warm and fuzzy by comparison.”

“He’s not the new warehouse manager.”

For the second time, Kelli found herself asking, “Who is he?”

“Samuel Maxwell. I believe there’s a Third after his name. You know, the new vice president of Danbury Department Stores.”

Kelli felt her mouth drop open, even as her eyes slid shut. Way to make friends and influence people. If she ever hoped to climb the corporate ladder at Danbury’s once she earned her master’s in business administration—assuming that happened at some point before she needed support hose and a walker—this was not the way to start out.

“Is he important, Mom?” Katie asked.

“Oh, yeah, Katie-did. He’s really important.”

“Well, I didn’t like him,” her daughter announced. “He yells. And he made Chloe cry.”

“I think I might cry,” Kelli mumbled.

She blew out a breath that caused her overly long bangs to stir. She needed a haircut and maybe some highlights to pep up the color of her mousy blond hair, but she had neither the time nor the money for such frivolous things. And that seemed to be the story of her life lately. No matter how hard she worked, she never seemed to get ahead. She felt like a hamster on a treadmill, only a hamster got to sleep all day. Kelli just had more running to do.

Anger and frustration bubbled to the surface. People like Samuel Maxwell the Third, who’d probably been born with a silver spoon in his mouth, would never understand what it was like to sacrifice and scrimp and do without and still wind up dodging creditors.

“I bet that man drinks bottled water, buys designer underwear and has his nails professionally buffed once a week. His kind wouldn’t last an hour doing what we do day in and day out. He might get his hands dirty. Or his clothes.”

She chuckled then, perversely pleased. “Oh my God! Just wait till he realizes he has baby snot on his pricey suit.”

Arlene laughed, too, a great booming sound that had the Danbury’s logo on her T-shirt bouncing on her impressive chest.

“He’s awfully good-looking, though,” the older woman mused. “Kinda reminds me of Pierce Brosnan with all that dark hair and those blue eyes. If I were ten years younger I wouldn’t mind taking him for a tumble.”

“If you were ten years younger and built like a Playboy centerfold he still wouldn’t notice you. His kind dates humorless women named Muffy and Babs. He’s too busy looking down his nose to really take notice of working stiffs like us. If I didn’t need this job, I’d take him down a peg or two.”

“Hey, you know what you should do?” Arlene didn’t wait for her to reply. “You should go on that new reality show, Swapping Places.”

Kelli rarely watched television. She simply didn’t have time. “Never heard of it.”

“It airs every Tuesday night. It’s kind of Survivor meets Big Brother with a corporate twist.”

“Sorry, I’ve never seen those shows, either.”

Arlene shook her head in dismay.

“I know you take classes three nights a week, but what do you do for relaxation?”

“I sleep,” Kelli said dryly.

“That’s depressing, kiddo. You’re young. You’re in the prime of your life. You’ve got a nice shape, a pretty face. You should get out more. Date. Live it up a little.”

“I have too many responsibilities to ‘live it up.’ As for dating, I’m not interested.” She recalled the smile she’d sent Sam Maxwell the first time she’d seen him and her resolve hardened. “I don’t need a man in my life.”

Arlene sighed, knowing her protest was useless. This was an old argument. “Okay, at least hook up to cable or get an antenna so you can escape through television.”

“I can’t afford cable, and besides, the television works just fine with our old VCR. This way, the only things the girls can watch are the educational videos we check out at the library.”

“If you go on Swapping Places you could win half a million bucks. That would buy a lot of educational videos.”

“Yeah, well, I could win ten times more than that playing the lottery and the odds are probably better.” She shook her head. “No thanks. I’ll make my money the old-fashioned way. I’ll work hard and earn it.”

“Oh, you’d earn it on Swapping Places,” Arlene replied. “If Samuel Maxwell agreed to do the show, too, you’d be the vice president of Danbury Department Stores for an entire month.”

Kelli stopped in her tracks. “Get out.”

“I’m serious. Why do you think they call it Swapping Places?”

“And he’d be here in the distribution center, doing my job for the month?”

When Arlene nodded, Kelli snorted out a laugh. Glancing down at her callused hands, she said, “I’d almost pay to see that.”

“More than just trading jobs, you’d trade lives. He’d be living in your apartment, taking night classes, making do on your budget.”

“He’d be in my un-air-conditioned apartment, eating mac and cheese, dealing with backed-up sinks and leaky faucets while I’d go live in the lap of luxury for an entire month? Sounds like a dream.”

Chloe began crying and the dream ended.

“So, what do you say? You want to do it?” Arlene asked.

“Oh, yeah. Sure,” she replied with a roll of her eyes. “Sign me up.”

Arlene cleared her throat. “I’m glad you feel that way, because I already did.”

“You did what?!”

“I signed you up for Swapping Places,” Arlene replied as Kelli bounced Chloe on her hip. “I went on the show’s Web site and typed in your name and information.”

“When? Why?”

“A few weeks back. Right after you applied for the manager’s job and didn’t get asked for an interview.”

“So, what, I’m supposed to go on national television and show Danbury’s head honchos what I can do?”

“That was the general idea.” Arlene shrugged. “But if you aren’t interested, when the show’s people call—if they call—you can simply say no.”

“You’d better believe I’ll tell them no.”

Four weeks later

“YES, I’ll do it. I’ll go on Swapping Places.”

Kelli couldn’t believe she’d said it, but she nonetheless enjoyed the way her announcement caused Danbury’s new vice president to blink in surprise. It didn’t matter that at the moment the last thing she wanted to do was go on some reality television program. She’d think about that later and probably regret it. But right now she wanted to savor her victory, miniscule as it was.