Kayla Perrin - Single Mama Drama

“Vanessa Cain? I’m Dean Musselman from CNN.”

I sidestepped him and picked up my pace.

“Ms. Cain, the world wants to hear your story. Tell us how you felt when you heard the gruesome news.”

From everywhere, reporters stuck microphones in my face.

“I have nothing to say!” I yelled, then grabbed the heavy door and scurried inside the building.

My sigh of relief died in my throat when I saw the reporter from the Miami Herald standing in the lobby. Cynthia Martin had a book in her hand, as if she was simply hanging out reading, but the moment she saw me, she started in my direction.

I broke into a run, quickly flashing my pass to Edgar, the Hispanic security guard, who knew me well. Then I sprinted past him to the bank of elevators.

“Ms. Cain, why won’t you talk to me?” Cynthia Martin asked from behind the turnstile. “People want to hear your story. Especially now.”

There was a FedEx man standing at the bank of elevators, and at Cynthia’s comment, he looked at me quizzically. Thankfully, an elevator opened a moment later and I hurried inside.

The FedEx guy didn’t ask the obvious question, but I was certain he knew who I was. I hadn’t watched any of the late-night newscasts, but my picture had likely been broadcast alongside Eli’s. For all I knew, my face might be on the front page of the Miami Herald right now, with a caption I didn’t even want to imagine.

Which was the very reason I had avoided turning on my television last night. I didn’t want to hear what was being said about Eli, or even me. I needed to deal with my fiancé’s death in my own private way, not with the slant of public opinion.

When I stepped off the elevator onto my floor, my shoulders sagged with relief. “Holy crap,” I muttered, leaning against the wall to collect myself. “Is it really that slow of a news week?”

If I was lucky, some young starlet would check herself into rehab in the next few hours and save me from this madness.

About a minute later, my breathing had returned to normal, and I was ready to get to work. I walked through the doors to the agency and said hello to Alaina, who returned my greeting with wide-eyed shock.

“Vanessa?”

“Yes, it’s me,” I chirped. I pulled my scarf off my head so she would be one hundred percent sure.

“But—why are you here?”

“I work here,” I snapped. My tone was unnecessarily harsh, but I wasn’t upset with her. I was upset with the sudden drama plaguing my life. Eli hadn’t been hounded by the press when he was alive. What was with all the hoopla now?

The reception phone rang, preventing Alaina from asking me the next question on her tongue. She answered the phone with her standard greeting, and I took that moment to scoot past her to my office. I saw her hold up a finger in hopes of halting me, but I pretended not to notice.

Seconds later, I was stepping into my office when I suddenly stopped dead in my tracks.

A woman was sitting behind my desk.

“Good morning.” The greeting in a British accent threw me off. The woman had grayish-blond hair and appeared to be in her early fifties. She smiled warmly at me.

I took a quick glance around the room to make sure I was indeed in my office.

“Uh,” I began, walking forward cautiously, “who are you?”

“I’m Bonnie Bluegrass, dear.”

“Bonnie Bluegrass,” I repeated, the name sounding a little too…stagelike. Perhaps I was still at home in bed, dreaming about some British television show.

“Office manager,” she added, her tone far too chipper. “May I help you with something?”

At once, I understood what was going on. Someone—likely Debbie or her assistant—had called in a temp to replace me.

“Why did they do this?” I mumbled.

“Pardon me, dear?”

“Sorry—not you. I’m thinking out loud.” I moved farther into the room and placed my belongings on the floor beside my desk. “I think there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding.”

“Oh?”

I nodded, then took off my sunglasses. “Yeah. This is my office.”

She looked confused. And then recognition flashed in her eyes. “Ohhh. It’s you. You’re the one in the picture with this darling little girl.” She looked momentarily at the framed photo of me and Rayna when Rayna was just nine months old. “But I thought…Aren’t you off on bereavement leave?”

“I decided to come in,” I replied cheerfully.

Bonnie looked—as I’d heard in the occasional British film—gobsmacked.

“You’ll still get paid for your trouble, of course, but we won’t be needing you today.”

I placed my sunglasses on the edge of my desk, straightened my blazer, then waited for Bonnie to vacate my seat. When she didn’t, I asked, “Is there a problem?”

“It’s just that the temp agency told me I’d be here for two days. Possibly more.”

“Fine.” I smiled pleasantly. “Two days’ pay. I’ll take care of it.” As the office manager, I oversaw the company’s finances and would authorize the expense.

Slowly, Bonnie rose. “You’re sure? You don’t need the time off to…”

“To what?”

“Well, to grieve, dear,” she replied. Her expression softened, becoming motherly and, oddly, I found myself missing my own mother.

How much different would it be right now if I had my mom around to comfort and coddle me? To hold me against her chest as she’d done when I was a child, and gently stroke my hair? In my mother’s arms, I could cry freely, without shame, without fear of being judged. I would have someone to hold me up, keep me from falling apart. I had supportive friends, but their comfort would never equal that of my mother’s.

My parents had died when I wasn’t yet a teenager, and I’d missed their presence hugely. I’d gone on, as I’d had to do, but I’d never quite been the same. My mother’s only sister, Lola, had become a surrogate mother, for which I was grateful, but there was still a big void in my world. A person wants her parents around for the key moments in her life. Like when I graduated from high school. My aunt had been there, and she’d assured me that my parents would have been very proud that I’d graduated with honors. But by the time I gave birth to Rayna, my aunt, who’d been single until her forties, was living in Hawaii with her new husband. My sister had been at the hospital with me, of course, but I’d still wept uncontrollably when the doctor handed me my little baby, knowing my parents had missed that monumental moment in my life.

Then I’d consoled myself with the thought that they were in heaven, watching and beaming with pride at the sight of their first granddaughter.

I needed to believe that.

“Oh, look at you.” Bonnie tsked. “I can see the sadness in your eyes, dear. I do believe you could use a hug. Do you mind if I give you one?”

It was a strange offer, but one that I welcomed.

She opened her arms in invitation, and I walked into her embrace. She gave me a warm, earnest hug, and I closed my eyes, imagining that my mother was channeling her energy through this woman to me.

After a few moments, we pulled apart. I looked at Bonnie and said, “Thank you.”

“You’re sure you don’t want to go home?” she asked, genuine concern for me evident in her eyes. “I came to work. I’m more than happy to stay.”

“I’m better off here,” I told her. “Thank you so much for coming in, though. And for the hug. It helped. Whenever we need another temp, I’ll be sure to call and ask for you.”

Bonnie Bluegrass nodded, got her things together and quietly left my office.

If I ever needed a nanny, I’d track the woman down. I had a feeling that Bonnie would be fantastic in that role.