Adrianne Byrd - When Valentines Collide

“Or cutting each other’s cars in half.”

A wide smile monopolized Matt’s face. “That was pretty good.” He jutted a finger. “Extreme—but pretty good.”

“Come on. What’s the big deal?” Seth shrugged. “You encourage and educate people everyday about the importance of counseling. What’s the big deal in practicing what you preach?”

Matthew unzipped his pants and jerked them down his legs. “The big deal is there isn’t a damn thing that a psychologist can tell us that we don’t already know. We’re both controlling perfectionists with hot tempers. Theories and overblown rhetoric are not what we need. Especially when you’re dealing with someone who is stubborn as an ox.”

Seth frowned. “Help me out. Who’s the ox in this scenario?”

“Not funny.” Matthew tried to pull his left leg out from the bunched pants leg, but instead lost his footing and fell face forward. “Goddamn it.”

Seth covered his mouth in time to cork his laughter.

By the time Matthew recovered and climbed back to his feet there was no trace of amusement on Seth’s face—despite Matt’s sock suspenders and Daffy Duck boxer shorts.

Matthew cleared his throat and then launched into an explanation for the boxers. “Chanté burned just about everything in my underwear drawer after the car incident.”

“I think you got off lucky.”

At last, Matthew smiled as he reached for his pristine-white tennis shorts. “I do, too.”

A knock rapped on the door.

“Come in,” Matt shouted.

Cookie peeked inside with a sheepish grin. “Your package arrived, Dr. Valentine.”

Matthew’s eyes lit up as he clapped his hands together. “Oh. Bring him in.”

Seth’s brows furrowed in curiosity but the feeling was quickly sated when Cookie entered the dressing room with the most adorable brown-and-white puppy.

“There’s my little man,” Matt exclaimed, finally stepping free from his trousers to reach for the dog. “Thank you, Cookie.”

“My pleasure. Do you know what you’re going to name him?”

“I’m not sure yet.” Matt scratched behind the puppy’s ear. “I have to spend some time with him and get a sense of his personality.”

Cookie leaned over and kissed the dog on top of the head. “Well, keep me posted. I love dogs!”

“Will do.”

The intern gave either Matt or the dog a wink, Seth couldn’t tell which.

“Call if you need anything,” she reminded him again and then disappeared with another wink.

“Excuse me, uhm,” Seth said once the door closed. “But isn’t Chanté allergic to dogs?”

“She’s not allergic,” Matt said unconcerned. “She just hates them.”

“I stand corrected.”

Matt sat in his makeup chair and began to coo and imitate baby talk to the bundle of fur.

“What kind of dog is he?”

“Bulldog. Isn’t he handsome? Maybe I should name him Buddy? As in my Buddy.”

“You know your wife is going to hit the roof when she sees him.”

“Probably.” Matt smiled. “But I’ll just keep him on my side of the house. Besides, everyone needs companionship. A fact my wife seems to have forgotten.”

Seth stared at his friend. Finally, he decided to stop pussyfooting around. “Let me ask you something. And be honest if you can. If you and Chanté continue on the way you have been, how long do you think it will be before you finally accept Cookie’s invitation?”

A flash of anger returned to Matthew’s eyes. “You’re out of line.”

“And you’re in denial.”

That loud silence returned to the room, but this time it was layered with a tension usually reserved for heavyweight boxers on fight night.

“Look, I’m your friend.”

“You’re my agent.”

Seth thrust up his chin at the verbal blow. “All right. I’m your agent. As your agent I think I should warn you that a marriage counselor is better for your reputation than getting caught with your hands in the Cookie jar.”

Matthew’s heated black gaze snapped up to Seth as he opened the door.

“Think about it, Matt.” His gaze shifted to the puppy. “Good luck, Buddy. Something tells me that you’re going to need it.”

“Hello, Shawanda. Welcome to The Open Heart Forum.”

“Dr. Valentine? Oh, Lawd, girl. I didn’t think I would ever get through.”

Chanté chuckled as she glanced up at Thad through the glass partition. “Well, I’m glad you did, Shawanda. What’s on your heart tonight?”

“Yeah, well, I need to get some advice on what I should do about this (beep!) that’s been creeping around with my man.”

“Whoa, whoa, Shawanda.” Chanté laughed. “I got to tell you this isn’t one of those trashy talk shows, so I’m going have to ask you to watch the language. You think that you can do that?”

“Yeah, girl. Just tell me what I should do about this…heifa stalking my man ’cause I’m seriously about to catch a case if she calls my house one more damn time.”

“Well,” Chanté shook her head and braided her fingers. “Have you confronted your husband about this woman?”

“Oh, we ain’t married or nothing. We’ve just been living together the last fifteen years.”

Thad slapped a hand around his mouth while Chanté remained composed.

“I see. Before I address your question, Shawanda—do you mind if I ask you a question?”

“Uh, well, I guess not.”

“Why have you wasted fifteen years of your life on a man who clearly doesn’t respect you enough to marry you?”

“Hey, that’s my baby’s daddy. The ring will come. I mean, you know, he first has to get his wife to sign the divorce papers.”

“His wife?”

“Yeah, she’s been trippin’ ever since he chose me over her trifling behind.”

“So let me get this straight—” Chanté straightened in her chair. “You’re calling because your man is exhibiting the same behavior you benefited from fifteen years ago when he left his wife for you. Do I understand that right?”

“Look, Rufus left my sister because she didn’t know how to treat him right. She never could keep a man, if you know what I mean.”

“Unfortunately, I think I do.” Chanté sighed. “All right, Shawanda and the rest of you ladies out there who think that hanging on to a man, any man, by any means necessary is the road to eternal bliss. Snap out of it!”

Chanté drew a deep breath and shook her finger at her desk microphone like it was an errant child. “This sort of behavior is unacceptable, despicable and downright counterproductive. It’s bad enough that you destroyed one family, but you’re calling me to help you stop someone from paying you back for what you put out in the universe. The way I see it, Shawanda, you have two choices, get out or suck it up.

“If you have any sense left you’ll do the right thing and crawl to your sister on your hands and knees and beg for forgiveness. Got it?”

A loud click followed by a dial tone filled the airwaves.

“Humph. Another woman who can’t take the truth.” She shook her head. “Look, ladies. One of the hardest things you’ll ever have to learn is to know when to let go. It’s not always healthy to only listen to your heart. Your heart can convince you to give up things you have no business giving up. Trust me, I know.”

Chanté stayed her tongue, realizing that she’d nearly said too much. To her surprise, Thad had already removed his headphones and was stretched out in his chair, shaking his head.

“We cut to Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s repeat show about a minute ago.”

“Oh, thank God.” Chanté sighed and dropped her head on her desk. “I was about to experience a serious case of verbal diarrhea.”