Susan Crosby - Bound By The Baby

Dev climbed two flights of stairs to the loft. When he’d wandered through the house during his sleepless night, he’d come upon the well-equipped office on the top floor. He’d also discovered a corkboard on the wall onto which photographs were tacked, all reminders of a time when his life had been carefree. During college he’d been required to have good grades and establish lifelong contacts. Beyond that, his parents asked little. Until he graduated. Then everything changed.

Dev hadn’t looked too closely at the photos last night, having too much on his mind to clutter it with the past. But as he glanced at them now, he realized he didn’t know much about any of the men portrayed anymore. He remembered a remarkable camaraderie, but he couldn’t pick out one as a best friend at the time, except Hunter. Maybe Ryan…

He turned his back on the past and put himself squarely in the present again by sending an e-mail to his lawyer asking him to fill out the form for Nicole and fax it back, then he grabbed a cup of coffee and headed onto one of the decks overlooking the lake. The direct heat of the sun turned the chilly air bearable. He sat on a lounge chair and watched the boats make their way across the expanse of water.

As exiles went, Lake Tahoe was more than palatable. He’d intended to spend some of his time setting up his career move and some exploring the region, maybe throw in a little gambling now and then.

He hadn’t counted on…Nicole. In the past few months he’d wished for more information to go on to find her, but she had seemed to be a tourist, like him. A couple of times during their night together he could’ve sneaked a look at her wallet and learned more about her, but he’d resisted. They’d had a tacit agreement that they would share that night only, each of them easing an unspoken need.

But she had dropped into his mind since then, memories of her lush body tantalizing, her lips soft and hungry. She hadn’t hesitated, hadn’t just taken, but had given in ways he’d dreamed about since. A true partner, physically.

He’d wondered why she cried but figured she would tell him if she wanted to. She didn’t. Nor had she yet.

What could have been so horrific that she would forget she should’ve insisted on using birth control? She was obviously intelligent.

He could say the same thing about himself, of course. It was stupid not to have taken care of the protection. Stupid. Which only proved how much Hunter’s letter had affected him that day.

He should’ve just stayed home and gotten drunk instead.

A couple of minutes before eight that evening, Nicole glanced across the lobby and saw Devlin leaning against a column, watching her. Although seeing him so suddenly startled her, she wasn’t really surprised, having anticipated his showing up at some point.

When she clocked out she didn’t try to avoid him but walked over to where he stood. “Did you get some sleep?” she asked.

“Yes. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. I guess you’re here to walk me to my car again.”

“You guessed right.”

“And follow me home.” She didn’t know why that comforted her, but it did. She’d calmed down significantly since she’d left him earlier in the day. They were both stuck in the same pool of quicksand. It was up to them to help each other out of it.

Plus she’d decided it was kind of nice not to be figuring things out alone anymore.

“I want to pick you up and drive you to work and back from now on.”

Temptation reared its hopeful little head. They could spend time together…. “There’s no need,” she said.

“I know. But I think you’d like it, too.”

How did he see inside her like that? He’d done so from the beginning, from that moment in the elevator. “We’ll talk about it later.”

“How about dessert somewhere?” he asked, switching gears easily.

“I’m not hungry, thanks.”

“Then keep me company while I eat.”

“What’s this about, Devlin?”

“Conversation. Getting to know you.”

She studied his bland expression, catching the barest twinkle in his eyes. Since she was the one to suggest it, she couldn’t very well turn him down—and he knew it. “Okay. But not here.”

“Name the place.”

“There’s a coffee bar in another casino where they also serve dessert.”

“We’ll take my car and come back for yours later.”

“Actually, we can walk. It’s less than a block away.”

He took her down jacket and held it for her, lifting her braid out of the way then letting it fall against her back. She felt his nearness all the way down her back as if he’d spooned with her, just like in Atlantic City during the brief time they’d slept. Back then she’d felt safe in his arms. Comforted.

It wasn’t what she felt this time.

He made small talk as they walked, asking about her day, listening to her stories. Something unusual happened most days.

“Do you gamble?” he asked.

“Nope.”

“Not allowed to?”

“It’s an unspoken rule. It wouldn’t be good, whether we won or lost.”

“How did you end up in Atlantic City?”

They both had their hands stuffed into their pockets against the cold. She was grateful he wasn’t pushing a physical connection.

Liar. You want that more than anything.

She ignored the honest voice in her head. “My best friend from high school and I decided to take the summer after graduation to see the country. We ran out of money in Atlantic City, found jobs, then stayed. I stayed, that is. She saved enough to get herself home and off to college. I had no college plans.”

“Wouldn’t your parents have sent you the money to get home?” he asked.

The surprise in his voice told her a lot about him. “I was being independent.”

“I see.”

“Anyway, I liked the city. My job was okay, and I found an apartment to share with two other girls. After a couple of years, the Sterling hired me. They’ve been good to me. And good for me. I’d been very sheltered at home.”

“Were your parents disappointed you didn’t go to college?”

“I imagine so. They never said so, not directly. How about you? Where did you go?”

“Harvard.”

Harvard. Of course. The divide between them cracked wider. The only thing they had in common was the child they’d created.

Don’t forget sexual compatibility. The words didn’t whisper but yelled in her head. Since they’d bumped into each other last night she’d been remembering even more of the details of that night in Atlantic City. But sexual compatibility wasn’t enough to make a relationship work beyond the short term.

“Why did you come to Tahoe?” she asked, as he held the casino door open. She pointed in the direction of the coffee bar.

“To honor a pact I made during college.”

The casino noise prevented easy conversation. They reached the coffee bar and examined the desserts in the display case. A mile-high decadent chocolate cake called her name, but she resisted, determined to keep her pregnancy weight under control. “I’d like a hot chocolate,” she said to the clerk.

“Coffee and a piece of that,” he said when it was his turn, pointing to the slice of heaven Nicole had been coveting.

Great. Now she was going to have to sit across from him while he indulged himself. It blackened her mood.

They sat at a table tucked in a corner. As soon as they were settled he produced two forks, giving one to her. He smiled slightly as if daring her to argue that she didn’t want any.

She supposed she could manage a bite or two. After all, how bad could it be if they shared? A quarter of a piece wouldn’t hurt anything.

Well, maybe half, she amended after one bite.