Ann DeFee - The Man She Married

Maizie reminded him of a 1950s movie star—a cross between Marilyn Monroe and Pamela Anderson, sans surgical enhancements. She griped about the few pounds she’d gained, but as far as Clay was concerned her curves were perfect.

Straying had never entered his mind. His theory was why go out for chicken nuggets when you had cordon bleu at home, but lately, whew! The trouble had started when Hannah left for college and the situation was rapidly going downhill.

Maizie was the owner/operator of Miss Scarlett’s Boudoir. Her boutique was the emporium of all things girly in Magnolia Bluffs, Georgia, and it truly was the happening place. So if boredom wasn’t the problem, what was it—other than missing her baby?

Then Clay froze as a horrible thought struck him. Was his wife getting tired of him? Maizie and Hannah were his entire world. He didn’t think he could survive without them.

God, he didn’t need this right now, not on top of the trouble at work. Thinking about the debacle at the office made him want to beat his head against the wall.

Then Clay had a brilliant idea. Even he could admit it was time to call in an expert and who better than her fraternal twin, Liza. They were about as simpatico as two people could be.

Add in their cousin Kenni Whittaker and you had the Three Musketeers. Yep, Liza and Kenni would know what to do.

Pleased that he had a game plan, Clay grabbed his car keys and headed off to work. He’d call Liza when he had a spare minute—not that he had many of those.

It had been a lousy morning. Maizie hated fighting with Clay, but sometimes it felt like a black mood hijacked her brain. And when that happened, dealing with it was worse than getting rid of a bad case of fleas.

Maizie was doing some deep breathing exercises in the back room of the Boudoir, getting ready to put on her happy face, when she heard a screech followed by a crash. Then someone growled, “Let’s go outside and settle this.” That was something you’d hear at the Honky-Tonk Inn, not at Miss Scarlett’s.

Enough was enough. Damn it all! Maizie threw her half-eaten Godiva bar in the cabinet and stomped out into the shop. A quick look revealed there wasn’t much to worry about. The combatants were two middle-aged women armed with nothing more lethal than their razor-sharp tongues. Her employees, PJ and Bambi, stood by helplessly.

“What in the Sam Hill do you two think you’re doing?” Maizie demanded, slamming her hands on her hips for emphasis. She had at least a seven-inch height advantage on both women and she wasn’t afraid to use it. “This isn’t a junior high cafeteria.”

Sue Belle Pennington and Lucy Albright had been mortal enemies since cheerleading tryouts in the eighth grade. Add the unfortunate fact that neither had the sense God gave a turnip—and voilà—they were an incident waiting to happen.

Maizie tapped her toe. If they weren’t going to behave they could get out of her store. “I’m waiting for an explanation, and it had better be good.”

“She, she…” Sue Belle pointed a bony finger at her archenemy. “She thinks she’s smart enough to run the Girl Scout cookie sale. God knows she came out of the shallow end of the gene pool.” The commentary was bad enough, but her wicked-witch cackle was the icing on the cake.

Lucy lunged for Sue Belle, ready to draw blood, but Maizie grabbed her in midflight.

“You’re having a catfight, in my store, over who’s going to be the cookie mama?” Maizie would’ve slammed their heads together if she’d thought it would do any good.

Sue Belle raised her hand in preparation for a rude gesture, but obviously reconsidered when Maizie shot her a lethal glare.

Lucy, however, didn’t know when to quit. “Her mama stole the Brownie money when we were in third grade. And everyone knows the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” She accompanied her snarky remark with a smirk.

Oops! The ass whoopin’ was about to commence.

“Grab Sue Belle,” Maizie yelled to PJ, praying that her assistant manager would be able to restrain the enraged woman. Considering Sue Belle outweighed PJ by at least seventy-five pounds there wasn’t much hope of that.

“Call my brother-in-law.” Maizie tossed the cordless phone to Bambi, her after-school clerk. “Tell him to send someone over immediately.”

Zack Maynard, Liza’s husband, was the county sheriff. Sometimes it was handy to have a relative with a badge.

“Stop it right this minute!” Maizie screamed. Lordy, she hadn’t yelled that loud since her own cheerleading days. But it worked. Everyone in the shop went stock-still.

“Sit down. I will not tolerate a brawl in my store.”

Lucy sputtered and Sue Belle straightened her blouse where PJ had latched on to her arm. Although the combatants looked as if they’d rather have tea with Satan, they reluctantly complied, settling on opposite ends of the brocade Victorian fainting couch near the change rooms. The cease-fire, however, didn’t stop them from shooting baleful looks at each other.

“The dispatcher said someone would be here soon. But not to worry, the doughnut shop’s not too far away.” Bambi punctuated her report with a typical teenage giggle.

From her lips to God’s ears.

Ten minutes later Deputy Bubba Watson strolled in, a trail of white powder dribbled down his uniform, and it wasn’t cocaine. The poor man wasn’t the sharpest crayon in the box, but he was the law. And if he could scare the bejeezus out of the nitwits, everything would be fine.

“What’s this I hear about a fight?” he drawled, snapping his suspenders in unison with the popping of his gum.

Maizie indicated the two women. “There they are.”

“Whatcha gals up to?” Bubba asked. His interrogation techniques weren’t exactly FBI approved.

Sue Belle started to speak, but Lucy interrupted. “She wants to—”

Not to be outdone, Sue Belle launched into her own spiel.

“That’s it! Bubba, get them out of here before I do something I’ll regret,” Maizie demanded. She turned to Lucy and Sue Belle. “You two are permanently banned from the Boudoir. Do not darken this door again. Do you hear me? Never ever come in here again.”

“Aw, Maizie. Don’t be that way,” Sue Belle wailed.

She was on the verge of tears, but that was too darned bad.

“Yeah.” Lucy never had been able to keep her mouth shut. “If we can’t shop at the Boudoir, we’ll have to drive to Atlanta to find decent stuff. You can’t really mean it.”

“Oh, I do. Believe me.”

Lucy’s next words sealed her fate. “I’ll sue you. Sure as shootin’ I will.”

Maizie managed to suppress a belly laugh. “Go ahead. My lawyer’s a lot meaner than yours.”

Cousin Kenni’s husband, Win, was a former member of the D.C. legal scene. He was also Magnolia Bluff’s newest and finest attorney and even though he specialized in criminal actions, he was perfectly capable of handling himself in civil court. That man could jump into a pool of sharks and come out without a scratch.

“Bring it on, baby.” Maizie waved her fingers in the universal sign for “come and get it.”

Bubba might’ve been a little slow, but even he recognized a good exit line. “Okay, ladies, let’s go.” He indicated the door. “One at a time, please.” He gave Maizie a conspiratorial wink and a piece of advice before he escorted the offenders out. “Be good, now, ya hear?”

Maizie plopped on the couch, suddenly aware that her knees were knocking. “I can’t wait to tell Clay. He won’t believe this.”

“Such dimwits.” PJ shook her head in disgust. “Can’t you just picture them rolling around on the floor and yankin’ each other’s hair out?”