Holly Jacobs - Dad Today, Groom Tomorrow

He was so young then, and all he’d wanted was the woman standing in front of him. He thought she’d known him inside and out, but if she thought he would turn away from her because she was pregnant, she’d never really known him at all.

But she was about to.

Joe needed to think. Needed to somehow find a way to breathe again. He felt as if he’d been sucker punched and there was no oxygen left in the room.

He turned to leave. Not to walk away, but to get his feet planted firmly beneath him before he tried to decide what to do next.

He just had one more question before he left. “What’s his name?”

For a moment he didn’t think Louisa was going to answer.

She sighed and said, “Aaron. Aaron Joseph Clancy.”

She hadn’t even given the boy his last name. The thought added to the pain.

He turned and walked toward the door, chocolates forgotten.

“Joe,” she called. “What are you going to do?”

“I’ll let you know when I’ve figured it out.”

But figuring it out was harder than Joe could have imagined. Hours later Joe still didn’t have a clue. His mind couldn’t seem to focus on anything except the fact that he had a son.

Aaron.

The boy’s name was Aaron.

He’d lost the first seven years of the boy’s life…of Aaron’s life. He felt a sense of awe and wonder every time he thought his son’s name.

He made his way to the dock, though if asked he couldn’t have said how he got there.

“Aaron Joseph,” he whispered out loud. He didn’t say Clancy. The boy should be a Delacamp.

Louisa had given the boy his name for a middle name, but that’s the only thing Aaron had of his. He’d walked into the room, looked Joe straight in the eye, and there hadn’t been the slightest trace of recognition.

But Joe had known. Aaron looked just the way he had at that age. All gangly, not quite grown into his body. Dark hair. And his eyes.

Aaron had his eyes.

Joe had given him physical attributes, but nothing else. Not by choice, but that didn’t matter.

Joe had missed so much, so many things he should have done for and with his son.

He’d never gotten to change a diaper, never cradled him when he fussed. He hadn’t seen Aaron take his first step, never kissed a boo-boo. He’d never sat up with him all night when he was sick or afraid. He’d never sung him a lullaby.

Of course, with his lack of singing ability, Aaron probably wouldn’t miss that part, but Joe did. He resented the hell out of it.

The list of nevers kept growing as he sat on a bench at the end of the dock, mindlessly watching the sun sink behind the peninsula.

He hadn’t taken Aaron to his first day of school, hadn’t helped him with his homework. He’d never gotten to teach his son how to stand up to bullies, or how to stick up for the underdogs.

There were just too many “nevers.” The endlessness of them weighed so heavily on Joe he was afraid he couldn’t move under it.

Joe couldn’t change the “nevers.” His heart ached at the thought, but he was sensible enough to acknowledge one fact.

Joseph Anthony Delacamp had a son, and he didn’t plan to miss any more of his life.

That was a promise, to himself and to his son.

“Mamma, you’re sad today,” Aaron said that night.

Louisa had tried to keep up the appearance of normalcy for Aaron’s sake. Oh, rather than cooking dinner, she’d treated him to fast food, but that was a treat. She’d even managed to focus enough to scold him after he showered and missed a dirt smudge on his right arm.

“Soap. It’s not a real shower if you don’t soap all over,” she’d told him.

His grumbling had felt good. It had felt normal.

But nothing else did.

Joe Delacamp had met his son today.

The thought kept intruding, inserting itself between showers and scoldings, making her stomach clench and her head ache.

“Mom?” Aaron repeated.

She’d finished reading a chapter of the newest Harry Potter book to Aaron. It was their evening tradition. She enjoyed sitting next to him, feeling his warmth and sharing the quiet time with her son.

Her son.

Not Joe’s. Joe had made it clear he didn’t want children all those years ago, and today, when he’d turned and seen Aaron…

“Mom? What’s up?”

Joe Delacamp had met his son today.

Louisa pulled herself together and kissed Aaron’s forehead. “Nothing. I’m just tired. See you in the morning, bud.”

She walked woodenly toward the door.

“Hey, Mom?”

She turned back and drank in the sight of her son.

When he’d asked, she’d told him she’d loved his father, that they’d been young—too young to handle a relationship.

That much was true, at least as far as it went. She’d told him when he was older she would help him find and meet his father, if he wanted. He accepted her explanation and never seemed particularly bothered by the lack.

What would he think of Joe?

What would Joe would think of him?

Aaron was snuggled under the denim quilt she’d made him. It fit so perfectly with the dark-blue walls of his room. A giant poster of the planet earth was behind his head, other space pictures dotted the other walls. Aaron dreamed of being an astronaut someday, and she’d done her best to indulge him.

She wanted nothing more than for every one of her son’s dreams to come true.

“Yes, Aaron?” she asked.

“I love you.”

She held back the tears that threatened to overflow and managed to croak out, “I love you, too.”

She turned off the light, and shut the door.

Joe Delacamp had met his son today.

She was still numb.

No, she was aching. There was a lump in her throat, and she thought her heart was going to break all over again.

Joseph Delacamp had come into her store today, and he’d found out he had a child. He wasn’t pleased. She could see that on his face.

Maybe he was worried that she would come after him for support, or would try to make him take some interest in his son. His wife wouldn’t like that. His mother would like it even less.

Well, Louisa could put Joe’s mind to rest. She wanted nothing at all from him. He could keep his society wife and his society life.

Once upon a time she’d thought she couldn’t live without Joe…but she’d learned differently. She wondered that she was able to keep breathing after she’d left town…left him. And yet, day after day, breath after breath, she survived.

Not that it hadn’t been tough at times.

She’d moved to Erie when she was almost three months pregnant and had worked full-time throughout the remainder of her pregnancy for Elmer Shiner at his small chocolate store. Somehow she’d managed to survive her mother’s death, just weeks before Aaron’s birth.

Elmer had helped her through that. And he’d been the one to suggest she bring the baby to work with her, when Aaron was born.

Elmer had started out a boss and turned into her best friend. She smiled at the thought. Oh, maybe it was odd, having a seventy-year-old man as a friend, but Elmer was full of life and wisdom. He was the only father figure Aaron had ever known.

She owed him a debt she’d never be able to repay.

Everything she had, she had because of Elmer.

Aaron had never gone to day care, but had spent his first five years going to the candy store with her. He was a favorite with the customers.

When Elmer’s lease on the building ran out, he announced he was ready to retire, and sold her the chocolate-making machinery at a ridiculously low price.

He’d helped her locate her new building. Helped her set up everything and get the store off the ground. He still stopped in almost every day, just to check on her and was always willing to work when she needed him.