Susan Sleeman - Behind the Badge

“Not that this is an excuse.” She shifted to face him. “But I like to do something positive on my way home to help relieve the stresses of the day. Part of that is leaving my duty belt behind. It’s like taking off the weight of the belt helps remove the weight of the job.”

He didn’t know what to say that he hadn’t already said, other than telling her about Willie. And for the first time in years, he wanted to tell someone.

He opened his mouth, but the words didn’t come. Other than his partner, he’d never talked with another LEO about Willie. They’d have told him to let it go. That he wasn’t at fault. A second search wasn’t protocol. But Russ learned early in the job to take extra precautions. He just didn’t follow his instincts that particular day. And it still haunted him.

So much so he still couldn’t talk about it, so he focused on his driving, taking the shortest route to Dixon’s house. Making the final turn, he caught sight of Sydney’s questioning gaze.

“What?” he asked, hoping she hadn’t been watching him battle warring emotions.

“What do you do to let go of a bad day?”

He shrugged. “My biggest problems are often bureaucracy or the budget. Not finding a killer.”

“So what about tonight? When you get home, how are you gonna let this go?”

“I haven’t had to deal with real stress since leaving Portland, so I don’t really know.” And he hadn’t had to deal with it since he put his drinking days behind him. So what would he do tonight?

“So why’d you leave, anyway?”

Searching for the right address, he slowed. “You’re full of questions.”

“I’m just trying to learn how to handle the job, Russ. It’s different from what I thought it would be. Especially tonight.” She rubbed a hand over her eyes. “I know we’re told to expect to see people die in car crashes, but I honestly never thought I’d see someone gunned down.”

This experience could make her walk away from the job. A job she excelled at, from what he’d heard through the grapevine. She was known for being patient. Understanding. Intuitive. Sure, she’d panicked tonight, but law enforcement would lose out if a rookie with her promise quit. Hopefully, he could help restore her confidence during the investigation.

He tipped his head out the window. “That Dixon’s house, with the big porch?”

“Yeah, that’s it.” She peered out the window. “I can’t see how this visit will help. Nothing much happened here. It was a simple drug bust.”

“Try to let go of that notion or you might block anything that could help us.” He slid into a parking space.

He climbed out and a feeling of unease settled over him.

The wind howled through trees, whipping the fine mist into his face. He looked at Dixon’s house. Surveyed the ragged shrubs. The dark porch. Saw nothing out of the ordinary. Searched the street, peering into the deep shadows running the length of the house.

“What is it?” Sydney asked coming up behind him and startling him.

“Nothing.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Then why are you so jumpy?”

“I have the feeling our suspect is watching us.”

He saw a fresh wave of fear grip her face and instantly wanted to take back his words. But maybe scaring her a bit wasn’t a bad thing. If it didn’t paralyze her like earlier tonight, and made her more vigilant, a little fear was just what she needed to stay one step ahead of their killer.

Russ’s concern upping hers, Sydney looked across the street at the small white bungalow illuminated under a streetlight. The fog swirling around the lake hadn’t arrived in town. She could clearly see white paint rising in papery peels on old clapboard siding. The stirring breeze moved overgrown grass and carried the flakes into the air, depositing them like snow on the unkempt yard.

A yard that was as overgrown as when she’d arrested Dixon three days ago.

Only three days.

Seemed like a lifetime ago. Maybe in another world. A world before the roller coaster of emotions that raced through her heart tonight. Up. Down. Around. One minute she was fine. The next nearing panic and letting guilt threaten to swamp her with tears. But she wouldn’t cry in front of Russ. Even if he seemed to understand what she was going through.

He nodded at the house. “Since Mr. Becker’s not here with the key yet, we can run through Dixon’s arrest. Where were you when you saw the deal go down?”

“Behind a big pine at the edge of those woods.” She pointed across the street. “I had to work in a few hours and didn’t want Dixon to see my cruiser, so I left it a few blocks away and walked over here.”

“So then you had a clear view of the house. What time of day was it?”

“Around three.”

“Good. Daylight. Easy to see something that at first glance didn’t seem important. Take me through the arrest.”

“When I arrived, I could tell a party was going on from the noise. About an hour later, Nikki’s old friend Julia came walking down the street from the east. I knew she had a drug problem, so I figured she was here to get her next fix from Dixon.” Sydney shook her head. “You should’ve seen her, Russ. She was such a mess. I hated to arrest her, but she wasn’t the sweet kid I used to know anymore. She’s in rehab right now. I sure hope it sticks.”

“The arrest might be just what she needed to kick the addiction.” He offered her a reassuring smile.

She hoped he was right, but her gut said Julia had a long road ahead of her.

“So what happened next?” he asked.

“Julia knocks on the door, and Dixon comes out. She exchanges cash for a baggie. I call it in to dispatch, then head across the street, slap the cuffs on Dixon and convince Julia not to run. Then we wait for backup and round up the partygoers for possession.”

“So no one fled the scene?”

“Not really. There was a girl standing by a motorcycle a few cars down who walked away when I came up, but I’m not sure she was involved.”

His face lit up. “A motorcycle? Can you describe it?”

“I can do better than that. While I was watching the house, I snapped a few pictures of the area. I know I got a shot of the bike.”

“Maybe our killer knows about the pictures and there’s something in them that could incriminate him.” His tone rose with interest.

She dug out her cell and thumbed through the pictures. Russ moved behind her, and she felt his breath whisper over her neck, below her ponytail. She had to fight to concentrate on the images. He lifted her hand closer to his face. The warmth of his hand covering hers almost made her turn to see if the touch affected him, too. But he stabbed a finger at the current picture and she knew his focus remained on the case.

“That looks like the bike our suspect took off on tonight. Can’t make out the plate, but if we enlarge it we might hit pay dirt.” He let go of her hand. “Officer Garber is a motorcycle enthusiast. He might see something in this picture that we don’t.”

An older-model car with a rumbling muffler chugged down the street emitting waves of smoke and pulling up in front of the house.

“That’s Mr. Becker,” Russ said. “Time to check out the house.”

Russ greeted the older man whose face held enormous respect for Russ. Locals appreciated his experience, diplomacy and the way he kept the department operating so efficiently.

Thinking about what she’d heard around town about Russ, Sydney watched as he talked with Mr. Becker.

Everyone in town knew Russ was divorced with a young son who spent occasional weekends with him. Especially the single women who thought they could crack his hard shell and win the man who seemed to need no one. But other than that, no other rumors had spread about the ten or so years he’d been gone from Logan Lake. She hadn’t really wondered about him, but tonight she wished she knew a little more about him.