Kaitlyn Patterson - The Diminished

That bit of information had sparked an idea, and as soon as I’d begun to dive on my own, I’d hung lines and baskets beneath the docks, where none of the other divers ever went. I tended them for four long years, and on my twelfth birthday, I opened the first oyster off my lines and slipped a pearl as big as the nail on my little pinky from its shell. In the three years since, I’d harvested close to two hundred pearls from my lines, more than ten for every one natural pearl I’d found and handed over to the anchorites.

That collection was hidden away beneath a floorboard in my tiny room in the temple. I’d created a small cushion for myself—enough to buy a cottage on one of the northernmost islands in the Alskad Empire, where folks were said to keep to themselves.

When I lost myself to the grief, I’d be far enough away from other folks that I wouldn’t be able to do much harm. I’d be alone. It was selfish of me, wanting to spend whatever time I had left in the company of my only friend, but still I’d thought about offering Sawny and Lily my whole stash—everything I’d ever saved, everything I’d ever created—just so they wouldn’t leave. Wouldn’t leave me alone. But in the end, I couldn’t have lived with the guilt of it. My friendship with Sawny was the only real, honest relationship in my life, and I couldn’t bear the thought of holding them back from the life they’d chosen just because I was so desperate not to be left alone.

Pressing the pouch into Sawny’s hand as stealthily as I could manage, I pulled back from our hug just far enough to fix him with a hard stare. “Don’t say anything.”

Sawny’s dark eyes were wide. “Are these...?”

“Don’t. You know the law. You know the consequences. Sell them when you can. Take your time. Be careful.”

“Vi, this is, far and away, the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.”

“Shut up,” I said.

“Sawny,” Lily called. “It’s time.”

Sawny threw his arms around me and squeezed me tight, and a part of me shattered, knowing it was the last hug I was ever likely to feel.

“I’ll miss you,” he said, and I tucked those words, his voice, deep into my heart.

“I’ll miss you, too.”

I watched as they boarded the Lucrecia and disappeared. As I stood there, the sun crept slowly up behind the ship, lightening the sky from navy to violet to lavender, and a sharp cacophony of pink and yellow and orange. Tears streamed down my cheeks as the sunship was tugged out into the harbor, as the tugboat disconnected and the enormous solar sails unfurled and turned to greet the rising sun.

Watch over them, Pru.

I waited until the ship was a mere speck, a memory traveling far across the sea. I watched, careless of the time, of the stares I gathered from passersby, of the tongue-lashing Lugine was sure to give me the moment I showed my face in the temple, empty-handed and having skipped my morning dive. I didn’t care. I was alone in a city full of people, and nothing at all mattered anymore.

* * *

Without Sawny around to fill my spare time, I wandered through the temple aimlessly, counting down the days left until my birthday, when I would be free of this place and all the unpleasant memories of my childhood that frosted its walls and stained its floors. Whenever I wasn’t diving or off on some errand for an anchorite, I found myself in the library, revisiting the books I’d read over and over as a child. I’d always been fascinated by the stories about the world before the cataclysm.

It had been so vast and varied, and yet so isolated at the same time. But, as the Suzerain would have us believe, its people had grown too bold, too selfish. Dzallie the Warrior asked Gadrian the Firebound to make her a weapon that would split the moon. As moondust and fire rained down upon the world, Hamil the Seabound washed away the dregs of the corrupt civilizations that had so angered the gods. Rayleane the Builder took the clay given to her by Tueber the Earthbound and reshaped the remnants of humanity, splitting each person into two, so that everyone would go through life with a twin, a counterweight—a living conscience. Those few precious to Magritte the Educator remained whole, becoming the singleborn.

There were dozens of religious texts that told the story of the cataclysm, but I think the thing that drew me back to the library again and again were the stories from before. Stories about a time when losing your twin didn’t mean losing your life, your whole self.

It didn’t take long for one of the anchorites to find Anchorite Sula and tell her I’d been lurking around the stacks, failing to make myself useful. One evening after supper, when I’d found an empty corner of the library where I could read in peace, Sula came bustling up to me, her orange robes fluttering behind her and a pained look of concern plastered onto her face.

“Obedience, child,” she said. “Do you want for tasks that will better allow you to serve your chosen deity?”

I shut the book I’d been reading and uncurled myself from the sagging armchair, already exhausted by a conversation I’d had a thousand times or more over the course of my childhood. Every child was encouraged to choose one of the gods and goddesses on whom they could focus their worship. I’d chosen Dzallie the Warrior, not that it mattered much to me either way. I’d long since given up any pretense of believing in the gods and goddesses. Growing up in the temple had shown me time and again that the Suzerain’s goal wasn’t actually the salvation of the souls of the empire, but rather power over those souls and their wealth. If the gods and goddesses were real, they would have given us leaders immune to corruption.

Much to my chagrin, my lack of faith didn’t stop the anchorites from forcing me to attend adulations and questioning me about my devotion.

“I don’t want for anything, Anchorite,” I said, grating against the fact that she’d called me by my given name. “I only had a bit of time and thought I might read.”

“You’ve been downcast since Sawny’s and Lily’s departure.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I’m surprised you noticed.”

“I don’t appreciate your tone,” Sula said, her voice flat with a familiar, weary warning. “Because you seem to have found yourself with so much free time on your hands, I have notified the Suzerain that you will assist with their equipment and cleaning needs during and after the Shriven initiates’ evening training.”

My fingers tightened around the book in my lap, and I fixed my eyes on the stone floor between our feet. The worn flagstones were dark with age and centuries of boots. Someone had mopped recently, not bothering to move the armchair. There was a ring of dust surrounding it, the line between Sula’s feet and mine; I, fittingly, was on the dirty side of the line. I took a deep breath and tried to force my anger down to a manageable level. If Sula heard even a hint of it in my voice, it’d mean overnight adulations in the haven hall for a week at least, and I didn’t think I could stand the oppressive silence or being left alone with my thoughts for that long.

“As I’m sure you’re aware,” I said, taking the time to choose my words carefully, the lies like barbs on my tongue, “my daily service is in the harbor and canneries under the supervision of Anchorite Lugine. And while I would surely be honored to serve the Suzerain in whatever capacity they desire, I know Lugine can’t afford to be left shorthanded during the warm months when we’re able to dive, and I’m in the midst of training my replacement. My sixteenth birthday is just around the corner.”

Sula sniffed. “Your assignment to aid the Shriven initiates’ training is in addition to your service with Anchorite Lugine. There’s no reason you shouldn’t fill every available hour that remains to you as a ward of the temple by repaying the generosity that has kept you fed, clothed and housed for the first sixteen years of your life.”