Raymond E. Feist - The King’s Buccaneer

Anita had also sensed something behind his words, more than simple anxiety over a youngster leaving home for the first time, but she could not tell what it was. But most of all, Anita understood that her husband ached to be able to take control, to provide guidance, protection, and support for Nicholas, and that to let him go was perhaps harder for Arutha than it was for her.

Within an hour of Arutha’s telling Nicholas and Harry they were bound for Crydee with Amos, the thousand and one details of making ready for the voyage sent the household into a near state of panic. Yet with practice born of a thousand state occasions, the Royal Steward and his host of squires, pages, and servants rose to the occasion, and Arutha knew that when the ship left the following day, everything the Prince and his companion needed would be aboard.

The Royal Eagle lay ready to carry the arms and stores needed by the new garrison that Duke Martin was establishing. Amos was assuming command, and they would leave for Crydee on the early morning tide. The decision to leave so abruptly was made both because Arutha did not want time to second-guess his choice, and to take advantage of the favorable weather. The infamous Straits of Darkness would be navigable for the next few months, but fall would be upon Amos by the time he left for his return voyage. Once heavy weather set in, the straits between the Bitter Sea and the Endless Sea were too dangerous to attempt except in the most extreme need.

Amos walked down the long hall that led from the guest quarters. In the years he had lived in Krondor, he had never bothered to secure private lodgings outside the palace, as had most of the Prince’s staff. He was the only member of the Prince’s circle of advisers and commanders who was unmarried and did not require a place apart from court demands for a family. As he was at sea nearly three-quarters of the time, anyway, the days he stayed in the palace were few in any event.

But now he was wrestling with the notion of how his life would change after this voyage. He stood a moment, hesitating, then knocked upon the door. A servant quickly answered and, seeing the Admiral without, pulled the door wide. Amos entered and found Alicia sitting upon a divan before a wide glass doorway that gave upon her private balcony, opened to admit the morning breeze. She rose and smiled as he crossed to her.

He took her hand and kissed her cheek. While the servants knew well he had spent the night in this very apartment, they observed the pretense of not knowing in the name of court protocol. Amos had snuck out of the rooms before dawn and had returned to his own quarters. He had changed and journeyed to the harbor for a quick inspection of the Royal Eagle .

‘Amos,’ said the Dowager Princess. ‘I didn’t expect to see you until this evening.’

Amos was at a loss for words, which surprised Alicia. She had understood something was on his mind last night, for while he had been ardent, he had also been somewhat distracted. Several times he had appeared to be on the brink of saying something, only to switch into some inconsequential question or statement.

He glanced around, and when it was clear they were alone, he sat heavily beside her. Taking her hands in his own, he said, ‘Alicia, my darling, I’ve given the matter some thought—’

‘What matter?’ she interrupted.

‘Let me finish,’ he said. ‘If I don’t get this out, I’m likely to lose my nerve, hoist sail, and leave.’

She tried not to smile, for he seemed very serious. But she had a good idea of what was next.

‘I’m getting on in age—’

‘You’re still a youngster,’ she said playfully.

‘Dammit, woman, this is difficult enough without your trying to flatter me!’ His tone was more exasperation than anger, so she was not offended. Her eyes betrayed a merry glint while she kept a straight face.

‘I’ve done many things I’m not proud of, Alicia, and some I’ve confessed to you. Others I’d just as soon forget.’ He paused, searching for words. ‘So, if you’re not of a mind to, I’ll understand and take no offense.’

‘Mind to what, Amos?’

Amos almost blushed as he blurted, ‘Marry.’

Alicia laughed and squeezed his hands tightly. She leaned forward and kissed him. ‘Silly man. Whom else would I marry? It’s you I’m in love with.’

Amos grinned. ‘Well then, that’s it, isn’t it?’ He threw his arms around her and held her close. ‘You’re not going to regret this, are you?’

‘Amos, at my age I’ve had my share of regrets, I can assure you. I married Erland because he was the King’s brother and my father was the Duke of Timons, not because I felt anything for him. I came to love my husband, for he was a kind and lovable man, but I was never in love with him. When he died, I assumed that love would be something I would watch in others younger than I. Then you showed up.’ He sat back, and she gripped his chin in her hand, playfully shaking his head as she would a child’s. Then her hand went to his cheek and she caressed it. ‘No, I haven’t enough time left for making poor choices. For all your rough edges, you’ve a quick mind and a generous heart, and whatever you did in the past is in the past. You’ve been the only grandfather my grandchildren have known – though they know better than to say it to your face – but that’s how they feel. No, this is no mistake.’ She leaned into his arms and again he held her tight. Amos sighed in contentment.

Alicia felt tears of happiness gather in her eyes, and she blinked them back. Amos had never been comfortable with open displays of emotion. Their relationship had been intimate for years now, but she had understood Amos’s reticence in making a proposal, for she knew him a man not given to close attachments. That he cared for Arutha and his family was clear, yet there was always a part of Amos that was distant. She knew that he held back, and nothing she could do would force him to give freely. Age had lent her a wisdom many younger women would not have understood. She had not wished to drive Amos off by asking him to choose between his love for her and his love for the sea.

Amos reluctantly released his hold on her. ‘Well, much as I would love to stay awhile, I have been given a mission by your daughter’s husband.’

‘You’re leaving again? But you only just got here.’ There was genuine disappointment in her voice.

‘Yes, true. But Nicholas is to go to Martin’s court for a year or two of seasoning, and some stores must be taken to the new garrison at Barran on the northwest coast.’ He looked into her green eyes and said, ‘It’s my last voyage, love. I’ll not be gone long, and then you’ll find how quickly you grow tired of having me underfoot all the time.’

She shook her head and smiled. ‘Hardly. You’ll find much to keep you busy on my estates. We’ll have lands to tend, tenants to supervise, and I doubt Arutha will let you stay away from court more than a month at a time. He values your insights and opinions.’

They talked for a while, and then Amos said, ‘We have much to do. I must ensure the ship is ready, and you and Anita will no doubt wish to get about the business of a wedding.’

They parted and Amos walked away from her apartment, feeling both elation and an unusual desire to keep sailing west once he dropped Nicholas off. He loved Alicia like no other woman he had met in this life, but the prospect of marriage was more than a little frightening to the old bachelor.

He almost knocked over Ghuda Bulé as he rounded a corner. The grey-haired mercenary backed away, bowing awkwardly. ‘Excuse me, sir.’

Amos paused. Switching to the Keshian language, he said, ‘No excuse needed …’

‘Ghuda Bulé, sir.’